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opinion
Text your FFA submissions to 785-289-8351 or at kansan.com
Instead of telling girls not to walk alone at night, maybe tell men that they shouldn't harass girls who walk alone at night?
I'm pretty sure God created us short men solely to laugh at us as we try to play basketball and pick up girls.
New life goal: have a cuter love story than the couple who found love through the FFA.
Jeff Withey just got dumped... I just got dumped... Make out?
Fact. The FFA editors have heard it all
It's bad when the most exciting part of my lecture was watching World Series of Poker.
That awkward moment when the girl in your bed tells you she's in love with the FFA editor.
Rey guys, do you get turned on if a girl is pretty good at playing football?
what doesn't kill you makes your drinks stronger.
Elijah Johnson is at Buffalo Wild Wings, I am also at Buffalo Wild Wings, so through the transitive property I am a KU basketball player.
DATING TIP FOR EVERYONE!.: Don't tell your significant other what to do.
If she sits at your table in Anschutz, she wants the D.
The main reason I wear earbuds around campus is so organizations at Wesco beach won't talk to me.
I'll be the gay best friend! FFA matchmaker: Round 2. I'll be watching for your sign.
Mixing Taco Bell hot sauce into ramen tastes exactly like poverty.
Jimmy John's delivery car in front of Strong? Looks like the Chancellor needed a sandwich, stat!
Sometimes I text the FFA not to get in, but to let the editor know how my day is going. *Editor's Note:* This is a lie.
THURSDAY OCTOBER 4 2013
How many more shy, passive-aggressive glances across the room do I have to send you before you'll love me?
I'm not a cannibal. I'm a humanitarian
Americans said goodbye to flip phones a long time ago. Today we eagerly welcome smartphones into our hearts and into our hands.
When to turn your smart phone off
According to a study done this year by Edison Research, 44 percent of Americans own a smartphone; a figure that increased from 35 percent since May 2011.
Grrreeeennnn bee... wait... DAMMIT!!
The divide is pretty even on men and women that own smartphones but the dominant age group isn't necessarily a group that brings in the most amount of money to afford these expensive phones. Chances are if you're reading this article, you're included in the 18 to 29-year-old age group known as "millennials."
No, the real reason you don't vote is because your lazy.
If you don't believe that more young adults than any other age
Who exactly invented the word "hipster?"
group own smartphones, then you probably aren't in one of my classes this semester. The other day I looked over to my right and saw five girls all in a row on their smartphones. Nearly the entire row in front of them was doing the exact same thing. You would think they were all on a secret mission of the utmost urgency but in fact, they were probably just reading celebrity gossip or sports stats.
Smartphones are addictive. They nag you to check your text messages, e-mails, browse the Internet, play Temple Run, glance at the time but really you're checking your text messages and the list goes on. That "zombie look" that we have when we're engrossed in our favorite show or on our laptops is now an expression we have
when looking at smartphones.
turn the phone off; not all the way of course, just the screen and join, the world in front of your blinking. non-zombie eyes.
I often compare the mannerisms and habits of people around me with the people I encountered this summer while studying abroad in Paris. Sure there were people on their phones but most of them, and I'm including millennials, were reading a book, enjoying a conversation face-to-face or soaking up the scenery. We may not have any world-famous
The Internet is the number one source millennials go to for their news, so I understand how smartphones play a big role in our lives. Heck, I just received the new iPhone 5 in the mail, so I can be grouped with young adults who own smartphones, but when they distract us, their smart features make us dumb.
landmarks designed by Gustave Eiffel to gawk at, but it doesn't mean we need to be glued to our smartphones.
I believe that just as there are smart features to a smartphone, there are dumb features too. These features are the ones companies don't advertise, ranging from texting while driving, talking on the phone in the library, and surfing the web during class. I can say that I carry a smartphone and have the ability to turn it off, but what about you?
I own a smartphone, and will probably always own one, because I like the ability to send an email, text and find information in a hurry, but when I'm busy, I put my phone down. When a product that is meant to be helpful becomes a distraction, it's time to
Montano is a senior majoring in journalism from Topeka. Follow him on Twitter @MikeMontanoME.
What would Jesus do?
A couple of weeks ago, Harvard professor Karen L. King discovered a centuries-old scrap of parchment that mentions Jesus's "wife," a find that is being hailed as the greatest feat of archaeology since an Oxford researcher recovered an enormous bar tab from a restaurant in Cairo last November.
While King wrote in her paper that the discovery doesn't "provide evidence of Jesus being married," I'd be willing to bet that high-ranking clergymen are storming around the Vatican right now, cursing her name and shouting, "Do you have any idea about the rewrites we'll have to do?" I can't say for sure that there's going to be new Gospels about Jesus lounging around the house with his wife and kids, but I have taken the liberty to write three new texts from an upcoming Gospel of Mom.
THE MOTHER-IN-LAW'S VISIT
When the time for Passover was fulfilled, Jesus and His family were seated at table, and His wife did whisper to Him, "Why did you have to invite Your mom?"
And Jesus did say to her,
"What do you have against My
mom?"
"She just has that 'holier-thanthou' attitude, you know." His
wife replied. "News flash: not everybody gets to be immaculately conceived. And she gets everything she wants so easily, too! Like at our family reunion last year, when she got to go first in the stone-skipping contest!"
THE FEEDING OF THE FIVE ANNOYING CHILDREN
And so it was that Jesus's wife besought Him: "Honey, could you rustle up some grub? The kids are getting crankier by the minute, and if You don't feed them, You'll be in for a storm that even You can't calm!"
And Jesus said to her, "I cooked every night for the past week-and-a-half! Why can't you do it tonight?"
"Look, Honey. I'm not expecting the Last Supper here. Just do laves and fish again. That'll be fine."
And when she had said that, one of Jesus's sons came in and did complain in a mighty voice: "Blech! Every time Dad makes
loaves and fish, we have to eat leftovers for lunch for A WEEK!
Why can't we order a pizza?"
And Jesus' wife did say to her son, "Alright," and to her Husband, "Honey, could You call and order it?"
"No, you do it," He replied. "The Lord helps them that help themselves!"
ON THE WAY TO THE FOOTBALL GAME
And Jesus did beseec His wife to let Him hang out with the apostles that evening: "But honey, I've got to go over and watch the game!" The Saints are playing tonight!
BASKETBALL
"What in Your name has gotten into you?" she replied. "It's a Sunday night; You can't even bother to keep Your own day holy?" And she did point to the twelve bottles of water that He was carrying, and said, "And don't think I don't know what You're going to do with those! I don't want You driving back here drunk!"
But Jesus did reassure her, saying, "Relax, honey; I've got it taken care of. Judas said he'd give Me a ride home."
May is a sophomore majoring in German and journalism from Derby.
CAMPUS CHIRPS BACK
'Late Night'at last
The void in my heart has yet to be filled. I've tried to ignore the fact that it's gone, but I'm still left empty every April through October. I've rooted for the Jayhawk football team every Saturday and noted volleyball scores in the Kansan. And "Monday Night Football" is always good. But any University of Kansas student, especially the new freshman walking around campus, should know that there is no place like Allen Fieldhouse. Believe it or not, there are actually students that have never attended a game at the Fieldhouse.
Allen Fieldhouse's atmosphere is unlike any other stadium in the nation. Students spend weeks camping to get the best seats in the house. If that doesn't say something about the pure dedication and love the students have, then I don't know what does. The moment you walk in, you can feel the students' excitement. From students ripping up paper confetti, to saying the eerie Rock Chalk Chant (there's no "woo," by the way) there's never a dull moment. Once tipoff starts, the place is deafening. Oh, and don't even think about sitting down.
Even if you aren't a sports fan, you're missing out. I think every student should experience at least one basketball game, if not more.
Being in Allen Fieldhouse, you feel so united with your fellow classmates. To see thousands of students go absolutely crazy for their team and be nationally recognized as one of the best student sections is a big deal.
A day after a big win, the campus is always so full of joy. For me, I can just feel the positive energy radiate through Jayhawk Boulevard. For non-basketball fans, it may seem
like a normal day. Personally, I am appalled when I hear someone say they've never attended a basketball game. It's one of KU's biggest and most exciting traditions. Once you step into that building and feel the energy, your outlook on basketball will most likely change. It is really more than just a game.
Being a Jayhawk creates so many bonds between strangers. It's great being able to walk down the street in some random town and saying "Rock Chalk" to a complete stranger. Because of that crimson and blue shirt with the Jayhawk on the front, you have just made an instant connection with an otherwise complete stranger. And there's no doubt that basketball is the driving force behind the camaraderie.
Late Night in the Phog is approaching on Oct. 13, it's a fun event for everyone. Late Night typically referred to as "Midnight Madness" at other schools, signifies the first official practice for the men and women's teams. It includes both teams singing, dancing, and performing skits. And of course, it's always a great way to check out the year's talent during the scrimmages. Late Night is one of the best forms of entertainment from some big campus names. It is unlike any other university's Midnight Madness.
Although, it is true that there are sports at Kansas other than basketball and all of them should get attention. Kansas should have the same attitude about other sports as it does about basketball. That positive outlook, the crazy student section, and forming simple bonds are all a part of the experience that should be carried onto other sports. Basketball, however, is just so full of tradition. The Rock Chalk Chant, singing the Alma Mater, and holding up the Kansan during the opponent's starting lineup are just a few of many examples. Basketball is what many students live for at Kanas, and I don't see that ever changing.
Bickel is a sofhomore majoring in journalism from Harper. Follow her on twitter @Steph_Bick.
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