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—Chris Moore
Corn-spiracy
Sometimes what you don't know can hurt you,or at least make you fat.
As I stare vapidly across the counter at a Chips' Conoco, my eyes dim as I begin to nod off. An immense human, three times my own girth, plops two Little Debbie pecan pies before me on
By Robert Riley, Jayplay writer
the counter. With his great paw of a hand, he slides me a sweaty dollar bill and some loose change. His jowls jiggle as he nods to signify the completion of our transaction. The sweet tone of the National Public Radio personality gives way to a well-spoken, yet agitated man, snapping me out of autopilot. In sequence, he sends bullets of facts and information streaming into my brain as raw as pure cane sugar. High fructose, fructose, feed corn, corn refineries, overweight children, obesity epidemic, type 2 diabetes, and one
word that burns into my psyche—corn syrup.
The guest on NPR quickly opens my sleepy eyes to a nationwide food production trend in which sugar had been all but completely removed from our diets. In its place, corn syrup, the very substance I will come to hold responsible for my chubby physique. The speaker continues on about corn refineries, lobbying and something about raising sugar tariffs, but one thing was clear: Corn syrup is everywhere, and it makes people fat. This oozing concentration of calories becomes my most insipid adversary, infesting almost every dimension of my diet.
My co-worker finally came to relieve me from my post, and I decided to continue my search at the Dillons on Massachusetts Street. Aisle after aisle, the alarming trend continued. Hot dogs, lunch meat, bread, cereal, ketchup, salad dressing and granola bars. On some of the products, I had to flip up the plastic flap along the seam to find out the truth. None of my favorite foods
My mind fires rapidly as my eyes dart around the convenience store. I can think of no better place to start my investigation than an individually wrapped Little Debbie pecan pie. It seems that the man on the radio has a point, the first and foremost ingredient is corn syrup. In fact, the entire Little Debbie is almost entirely composed of corn syrup. I flip product after product. The candy, the pop, the sandwiches, even the beef jerky, the syrup taints them all. I realize that unless I look in the automotive section, my chances of finding products without corn syrup are slim.
made it through the inquisition, and to be honest;it was the Sour Patch Kids that hurt the most.
I decided the only thing to do was to boycott corn syrup in all of its forms. I accepted the fact
that I would have to spend the rest of my life reading labels and ingredients. I came to terms with giving up the foods that I love. No problem I thought, I don't like pop or candy all that much anyway. I'll just drink juice, and try to eat more healthy foods. What I didn't know was how deep the rabbit hole actually went. Most of the juices sold in grocery stores have corn syrup as a main ingredient, just like pop. OK, I can handle only drinking water, let me just grab a healthy snack like a Nutri-Grain bar, and I'll be on my
way. To my surprise, the main ingredient was none other than corn syrup, and here I was under the impression that "Nutri" stood for nutrition. I had been duped into thinking that a breakfast bar was more healthy than a candy bar, shame on me. I was incensed, indignant, and therefore determined. I didn't care how hard it was going to be. I was going to stick to my game-plan to cut corn syrup out of my life, and that is exactly what I did.
Within the first two weeks I had lost more than seven pounds, and by end of the month I had lost 12. I had not changed my sedentary lifestyle, and yet after another two weeks I had lost even more weight. I started to have more energy and see muscles I had long forgotten. Label reading was easier now. The forbidden ingredient stood out from the long list like the image in a magic eye poster.
As a born again eater, I felt the need to spread the gospel of my rebirth. I talked to whoever would listen about how I heroically broke free from the bonds of corn syrup, but even as the words came out of my mouth, I knew I sounded like a conspiracy theorist health-nut. All right, so maybe there isn't a nationwide conspiracy to increase sugar tariffs high enough that food producers have no choice to use, a corn sweetener, and maybe the over consumption of corn syrup isn't responsible for an obesity epidemic or type 2 diabetes. So maybe my experiment has no real scientific basis, but my health, my happiness and my six-pack are all the proof I need.
12.9.04 Jayplay
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