Wescoe wit
[Oh, you guys say some of the darndest things. ]
Not to make you all scared, but we're eavesdropping on your conversations. Yes, we hear everything. And then we print it. But don't worry if you say something stupid, we won't identify you — unless you owe us money or beer.
**Guy 1:** Should I dump her man??
**Guy 2:** You don't want my advice, bud.
Remember what happened with Jenny??
**Guy 1:** Ah, yeah. Nevermind then.
What'd you do again?
**Guy 2:** I cheated on her with Amanda?
**Guy 1:** Dick.
Girl 1: Where should we go tonight?
Girl 2: Does it matter? Either way you're going home with Jeff.
Girl 1: Right. But I can't tell if we're
boyfriend/girlfriend yet.
Girl 2: Has he even taken you out yet?
NO! So, no, he's not your boyfriend.
Guy on phone: I miss you. Do you miss me?
Guy on phone: But you're going to meet my parents over Thanksgiving, so it's cool.
Guy on phone: Don't be nervous. I'm sure they'll love you. My Uncle Dave might get drunk and try to hit on you.
5ive questions
One KU "famous," one KU not (yet) famous
Dr. David Holmes professor of psychology
Josh Mitchell,
Lawrence
freshman
1. What kind of toothpaste is in your bathroom right now?
Mitche!!: Crest whitening.
Holmes: Colgate. I even keep a tube in my bag to brush my teeth before class.
2. Who's your favorite KU basketball player?
Mitchell: Paul Pierce. I just like the Celtics.
Holmes: I'm sorry, I don't follow basketball.
3. What is the ugliest building on campus?
Mitchell: Budig. I don't like how they mix gothic with new modern architecture.
Holmes: Strong. It has bad architecture. Oh, and Wescoe, too.
Mitchell: That Chumbawumba song. I can't remember the name of it.
4. What one-hit-wonder did you like at the time but can't stand anymore?
Holmes: I really can't think of any songs I don't like.
5. What is the best part of being a KU student or professor?
Mitchell: Definitely KU basketball.
Holmes: Two things: the daily intellectual challenge and the students.
Erik Johnson
By Jessi Crowder and Chris Tackett
[Check out Jessi Crowder and Chris Tackett on Facebook!!]
My girlfriend is pissed because she found out I masturbate when she's out of town. How do I explain it doesn't have anytl do with me wanting other girls?
Chris: Ask her if she'd rather you be unfaithful or masturbate. If she says "neither," she's clinically insane and you should end the relationship. Girls have to understand that guys masturbate — all the time. Guys who get sex on a daily basis may not masturbate as often, but take that away and they'll start to. Girls, don't be jealous. If we don't do it, we'll die.
Jessi: Even if she was there and you still masturbated, she shouldn't be upset because self-sex is healthy and beneficial for both partners. It can increase your staying power, and help her show you what she likes. If she doesn't believe you, go out of town and have her try it for herself. *wink*
Sometimes when I dance with a girl, I get turned on and get a slight erection. I'm sure they can feel it. Do you think this creeps girls out, or does it turn them on? — John, freshman
Chris: I asked a few lady friends and got split opinions. They said if they were dating the guy, it would be a huge turn-on. But with a random guy, it could be creepy, UNLESS they were really into them and wanted to hook up with them anyway, because in that case they'd be planning on ... And that's about when I stopped listening.
Jessi: This reminds me of that '90s song "Too Close" about a girl dancing too close to a guy and she feels a "poke coming through." I see it this way: If she's dancing with you in the first place, and grinding on you, she deserves the poke. If you're into frotteurism, no one deserves that.
I just got signed onto the facebook.com and started talking to this hottie. I want to ask her out, but I'm not sure what the policy is for online hookups. What should I do? — Stu, junior
Jessi. I don't know of any policies behind online hookups other than making sure she's not some Mrs. Robinson in search of another pool boy. I also suggest you "poke" someone looking for the same type of commitment you are, which in Facebook's case ranges from "friends" to "random play." With that said, if she's listed as "whatever I can get" and you are too, go for it!
Christ: I checked out Facebook and was surprised at the number of KU students on there. With sites like campushook.com and thefacebook.com, I think most students just want something to do when they're drunk, alone, bored or horny late at night. It's a great way to hit on girls without the social awkwardness. There's a chance the girl has no interest in actually meeting someone, but if the conversation is good online, I can only assume it'd be even better in person. Ask her.
Got a burning question? E-mail us at bitch@kansan.com.
12.2.04 Jayplay
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