By Jessi Crowder and Chris Tackett
[Animal love is the perfect drug.]
Is it true that breast implants are going out of style?
—Molly, Sophomore
Chris: You could say that. You could also say I have no idea what I'm talking about, because I don't. But I think the Pam Anderson-esque big-boobied ladies of the '90s are not nearly as popular as the well-proportioned girl-next-door women of the 21st Century. I mean, c'mon, we're talking about the future! Smaller Boobs 2004!
Jessi: My mom recently informed me that the big-butted/wide-hipped bodies (joy to all the ghetto bootays of the world!) are coming back into "style." I happen to think this whole "style" of bodies is a load of hoopla. The truth is masking what you've been blessed with is never going to be "in style," so I recommend we all just work with what we've got.
I've been single for almost two years and I think it's because I don't date girls who don't smoke pot. Should I try to change my preferences or hold out for the perfect girl?
Matt, Senior
Jessi: Maybe you should try not smoking pot and perhaps more people will begin to look like "the perfect girl" to you. Meanwhile, I have a problem not wanting to date guys who don't have big noses ... See how silly I sound? Don't judge a person on something as superficial as a single trait. Take a look at the big picture (or booty).
Chris: If your "dream girl" is a hot little pot-smokin' hippie, you shouldn't settle for anything less. But do analyze why you prefer your ladies to smoke dope. If the bigger issue is her tolerance of your habit, consider expanding your criteria to include girls that are open-minded, but pass on grass.
My friends and I downloaded a bestiality porn and were disgusted and fascinated at the same time. Is it normal to be intrigued by that?
Katherine, Senior
Jessi: It's normal to be intrigued by anything you're unfamiliar with, so don't limit yourself too much. I'm not saying you should go out tonight and boo a cow because watching humans bang animals is different than actually banging animals yourself. If you're disgusted, chances are you're not going to get off on the act in reality.
Got a burning question? E-mail us at bitch@kansan.com.
Chris: If I was driving down a windy, country road and happened to see an attractive girl, possibly a farmer's daughter, in the distance, making sweet love with a horse, I'd probably pay attention. Would I pull over to call all of my friends? Yes. Would I take as many pictures as possible? Yes. But would I partake in the action? No, and neither should you.
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