manual
By Megan Claus, Jayplaywriter
Butt cracks. In case you haven't noticed, these crevices and their fleshy counterparts are moon shining all over campus.
In a five-day school week, I see more crack than the 1995 season of Cops. I can't go an entire day without being subjected to someone's bare bottom. And as I sit in class face to face with a someone else's cleft, I wonder: What do my peers think about all this?
I sent a questionnaire to about 50 students in my classes, 21 responded. This nonscientific survey reveals that 57 percent see crack at least twice a week. Of these sightings, 43 percent occur in the classroom. But overall, the consensus reports that people are exposed to bare keister just about everywhere, and the feelings about this are mixed. Respondents say that seeing crack makes them feel sad, embarrassed, grossed out, annoyed, disgusted, humored, afraid, horrified and violated. One male says that when he sees female crack, he wonders if the girl is hot. A whopping forty-three percent say crack makes them think of fat men: "Fat man bending over," "old fat man who smells" and "Dan Ackroyd's character (the Norge) on SNL" are among the responses.
aside, Jeremy Furse (cq), owner of Britches Clothing Co., 843 Mass., says low-rise jeans aren't going anywhere this fall. And girls aren't the only ones bearing low waistlines. Adam Stasziewicz (cq), manager of Easton's Limited, 839 Mass., says that men's low-rise jeans have sold just has much in the past year as the regular-rise jeans.
on SHE Josh Levine (cq), Omaha junior, says he is sometimes annoyed by crack exposure. He says that crack violators should mind how their clothes fit. "I feel really bothered if it's just out of control disgusting. But if it's not all hanging out, crack away."
And the source of all the fleshy cleft? You are probably familiar with the low-rise culture of jean-wear. It was a mixture of Britney Spears and the late nineties that started this generation of hip huggers. My respondents seem to like them. Ninety percent of females and 43 percent of males swear by hipstee jeans.
You may have heard that showing flesh is out and the conservative look is in. This makes sense by myself.
While you may be wondering how the school administration feels about this, there isn't much they can do. Jane Tuttle, assistant to the Dean of Students, says the only thing that KU can prohibit is showing up to school in the nude. And unlike a Louisiana state legislator, who proposed outlawing pants that expose your arse crack in public, KU is not into the dress code business. Even though there's no KU policy about butt cracks, you could still get in trouble. In fact, the university policy against sexual harassment says that conduct could be considered sexual harassment if it interferes with an individual's academic performance or creates an intimidating educational environment. And it does. Bill Staples, professor and chair of sociology, says bearing the skin makes for a negative class experience. "It's distracting. It makes some people feel awkward. And it's not just butt cracks; it's the entire range of dress." Staples says students should be a little bit more discrete. If you feel uncomfortable when sitting behind a crack offender, address the issue and tell them how you feel. Chances are they'll be pretty embarrassed and you'll never have to see that crack again.
When you're out shopping for a pair of low-risers, take a few things into consideration. If your body-type screams babygot-back, you need to be extra careful
1. Get to know your burn
Avoid being a classroom crackster
when picking out your denims. For men with back, I recommend the relaxed fit. Check out Levi's SilverTab Low and Loose. The waistline still sits on the hips, but is loose enough in the leg that it will keep you out of the crack-zone. For women with back, Diesel's Fikus bootcut jean works because it still has a relatively low-rise and the double button closure will help keep your waste line from expanding and your crack line from peeking.
2.Shake your bum
You'll need to take the denim for a little test drive. For this step, bring a friend or a pocket mirror if you don't trust your own instincts. Try them on, kick out your legs, and wiggle your buns. To avoid embarrassment, I'd do this behind the curtain. After you work them in a little, practice your squats and crouch down as far as possible. Can you feel the breeze? If you
can see so much as a hint of underwear or crack, put down the denims and get out of there quickly my friend. The only exception to this is if you are prepared to equip yourself with reinforcements.
3. Help a bum out
This is where the reinforcements come into play. If you just had to have the crack enforcers, and you must wear them to class, you'll need some back up. Use a belt! (Suspenders work too.) And last but not least, cover it up. If you must wear crack-bearing jeans, match them up with a longer shirt or jacket. Do your fellow classmates a favor. Just like asking a friend to do a booey check, turn around and ask the person behind you to do a booty check. They'll appreciate returning the favor.
Always practice safe crack.
Damage control
The Do's and Don'ts of Alcohol Poisoning
Do:
Do:
• Monitor breathing; if the potential victim is taking fewer than 12 breaths per minute, or stops breathing for 10 seconds or more, call 911.
- Touch his skin. If it's clammy, pale or blue, call 911.
- Try to wake him if he passed out. If you can't wake him, call 911.
Don't:
- Give him food, liquid, medicines or drugs to sober him up.
- Give him a cold shower; the shock of the cold water could make him loss consciousness.
· Put another drunk person in charge of him.
Source: Alcohol & Drug Abuse Prevention and Treatment (ADAPT). University of California-Davis.
— Misty Huber
minute fix
No Sweat
The downfall of white clothing is its susceptibility to accruing those unattractive yellowy sweat stains. But you don't have to relegate sweat-affected clothes the back of the closet. Before you do your laundry next time, put your sweat-stained clothes in a bucket with warm water and some white vinegar. Let that soak for a couple of hours and then toss them in with the rest of your laundry as usual. Source www.tinking.com
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Source: www.tipking.com
Jayplay 9.30.04
Stephanie Lovett