You're coming home from a sweet house party having just met a possible mate who just so happens to live two floors above you in the same dorm. When you get back home, you invite him to your room to
you invite him to you watch a movie (and possibly some early-morning smooching). But as you near your room, you see the lights turned off and the debilitating realization is upon you. Your new roommate is asleep.
asleep.
You could try to sneak in, turn the volume down low and hope she doesn't wake up. You could tell the guy you'll just talk to him tomorrow.
a new key guidance TIP #1. Make a plan. Set up a meeting. Put down the Biology book and minimize the Instant Messenger for 15 minutes and make a game-plan for the year that you can both live with. The Family Education Network of America Web site suggests meeting somewhere outside of your room. Next, split up the expenses and decide what stuff you are going to share and what is off-limits. Because there is nothing worse than stepping into the shower to find someone else's pubic hair stuck to your bar of soap.
At some point, whether you are an anxious, pimplely freshman moving into the dorms or a chip-on-your-shoulder grad student splitting an apartment lease with a stranger, choices like these will weigh on you heavier than Roseanne Barr on a carb binge.
Well, worry no longer. My former roommate (once a stranger to me) Cory Carter, Wichita senior and now-McColum resident advisor, and I have devised a few key guidelines.
TIP #2. Make a "Visitor's Policy". Whoever came up with the axiom, "Three's a crowd" must have lived in McCollum with a roommate that had a girlfriend. You don't want to compete with the sounds of your roomie and her boy-toy necking behind her shack sheet while you study. So set some rules and follow them. The FEN Web site says being sensitive to your roomie's feelings on the "sleepover issue" is also important. Carter says the best policy you can follow is give-and-take, where you establish when it is and isn't OK to have visitors and then compromise when the unexpected comes up.
TIP #3. Speak up. It doesn't matter if you're a shy person; you have to stand up for yourself. When something goes awry, you need to muster the testicular (or ovarian) fortitude to be strong and communicate. Liz Nartowicz, Lawrence junior, lucked out with her roommate freshman year. However, her friends weren't so fortunate. "The biggest problem I noticed was the lack of communication between roommates. Instead of complaining to each other about the problems they had, they would complain to me." This includes not letting yourself get pushed around. If you're trying to get some much-needed "alone time" with a girl, and your roommate pops in the same Fast and the Furious DVD he's seen 50 times, tell him what's up.
p.
TIP #4. Have Fun. It doesn't matter
THE MORE YAKNOW
1. Get in touch with your roommate before school starts, if you don't already know him or her, and decide who should bring what. Make an effort to accommodate your roommate's needs.
2. Remember that looks can be deceiving, so avoid making snap decisions the first time you see your roommate.
see your roommate.
3. Determine how you each want the room to look and come to agreements that meet both your needs.
your needs.
4. Discuss housecleaning and bill-paying before they become problematic issues.
5. Come to a reasonable agreement about visiting boyfriends or girlfriends, including arrival and departure times.
and departure times.
6. Set up schedules for kitchen use, study times, bathroom times and party nights.
7. What holds to your roommate. Check befo
6. Set up schedules for kitchen use, study times, bathroom times and party nights.
7. Determine what belongs to you and what belongs to your roommate. Check before helping yourself to his or her groceries, clothing, CDs or toiletries.
8. Choose a person's choice of music, clothes, food and friends.
img yourself to his or her groceries, clothing, cds or clothes.
9. Be patient with your roommate's choice of music, clothes, food and friends.
16. Be patient with your roommate's family.
-ehow.com
if you like your roommate or not, part of the reason you're at college is to have fun. Don't forget that. Try your best to share that fun with your roomie. You aren't going to be best buddies right away, as eHow.com reminds you. (See sidebar,' above.) Friendships don't happen instantly. Make the effort that it takes to enjoy life with your roomie. Go out on the weekends together. Watch a movie together. Play jokes on each other. Nothing says, 'I enjoy having you as my roommate' more than flushing the toilet while your roommate is taking a shower or hiding a week-old carton of milk next to the radiator in his bedroom. Warning: This should only be
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done if you're sure your roommate will get the joke. Otherwise, he may take it more as an "I hate your guts and I can't wait for this freakin' lease to end" gesture. And this is the most important rule of all. Cory and I had a great freshman year because we had a great time together. It didn't matter that he obsessively cleaned the room while I discarded empty Fritos bags and paper plates between the couch cushions. What mattered most was we understood each other and learned to enjoy ourselves. Nartowicz says that she and her roommate had a good year because they communicated well with each other and had a good time. And that's what it's all about.
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