Wescoewit
[Oh, you guys say some of the darndest things. ]
Not to make you all scared, but we're eavesdropping on your
Not to make you all scared, but we are eavesdropping on your conversations. Yes, we hear everything. And then we print it. But don't worry if you say something stupid, we won't identify you — unless you owe us money or beer.
(Two guys passing voter registration booth)
**Guy #1:** You gonna vote, man?
**Guy #2:** Probably not. I doubt it. No.
**Guy #1:** Why not?
Guy #2: I don't really like either of them.
Guy #1: What about picking the lesser of two evils?
Guy #2: I did that four years ago with Bush and look where we are now.
Guy #1: Um... good point, I guess.
Boy: Hey, look, a squirrel.
Girl: Yea, cool, how'd he get over here?
Boy: Probably climbed down from a tree. Think he's hungry?
Girl: Who cares? Don't feed it, it might bite me.
Boy: Yea, rabies is probably not fun.
(Guy quitely singing/humming/talking to himself)
Guy: Umpa loompa, umpa-dy do. Da da-da-da-da da-da-da de. Umpa loompa, umpa-dy do do da-da-da duma-dy do. Well, time for class.
Erik Johnson
5ive questions
One KU "famous," one KU not (yet) famous
Ken Stoner director of student housing
Lindsay Turner,
Leawood
sophomore
1) What's your all-time favorite cartoon?
Stoner: I am partial to The Far Side. I suppose with my farm background, I have always seen the similarities between animals and humans. I find some truth and a great deal of humor to the various comparisons and reverse twists.
Turner: Bobby's World.I miss that one. I always liked the mom.
2] Name one irrational phobia you have? (i.e., like fear of public bathrooms or spiders)
Stoner. As opposed to rational phobias? I can't think of any.
Turner: Blood. I don't like hearing people talk about blood. I can't even hear the word.
3) What's the strangest infomercial you've seen?
Stoner: Although more of an advertisement than infomercial, I really thought http://multimedia.hondaeu.com/accord/d was quite unique. The infomercial on the exercise piece of equipment that folds up and slides under the bed (and probably stays there) is pretty strange. I suppose the infomercial on the various weed whackers and associated attachments like extensions for tree trimming are the strangest.
Turner: Windsor Pilates. It makes me laugh.
4) When was the last time you fell in public?
Turner: Last semester during the ice storm. I fell on my ass in front of 50 people.
Stoner: A year or so ago while going up the steps at the mall over in Topeka, I was taking two at a time and caught my toe on one about midway up the flight and down I went. Luckily, I didn't fall into anyone or cause anyone else to fall.
5) Who's better: Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera or Jessica Simpson?
Stoner: Christina Aguilera.
Turner: Jessica Simpson.
Samia Khan
By Jessi Crowder and Chris Tackett
[We make musty poon smell fresh and clean again. Available in baby powder.]
I met this psycho guy at a party two weeks ago and he won't stop calling me. Last night he actually called me 37 times. Yes, 37. And he left a voice message each time. He's freaking me out, but I don't think he's breaking any laws. How can I get him to lay off?
Mary, sophomore
Chris: Playing hard to get, eh? J/K! Seriously though, if you feel unsafe, get help. Act accordingly, but you have lots of options. The KU Public Safety Office can be reached at 864-5900, or you can just call 911. But before it gets to that, let all of your friends know what's on so they can keep their eyes open for any creepy guys lingering about. But you should probably just marry him.
Jessi: There is a major difference between having an interest in someone and having an obsession. By definition, this is stalking which is defined as "following or observing (a person) persistently, especially out of obsession or derangement." You can call him back, and let him know in a gentle, yet direct way that you are not interested and that he is making you uncomfortable. Whatever approach you take, be sure to make everyone in your life aware of what is going on.
I had a bad experience with a girl whose vag smelled like it was dying. I accidentally let my negative reaction slip to her and now I'm afraid this could happen again with a new girl. What should I do if I encounter another smelly vag?
Mike, freshman
Chris: Fainting would be acceptable. Or fake a cramp and quickly limp out of the room to "drink some pickle juice to help my cramps." (FYI: The sodium in pickle juice can help reduce cramping!) And when your breath smells like pickles, she'll be turned off and you'll be off the hook.
Jessi: Does your region happen to smell scrum-diddly-umptious? If she's a hook-up, it's only a lingering taste. If she's a potential long-term relationship, tell her you employ extra washing or cologne down below. Then, you can ask her if she's ever thought of doing the same. If she's offended, tell her you enjoy pleasuring her even more when she's fresh and clean.
1. masturbate at least seven times a day. Is this normal?
2. — Brett, sophomore
Jessi: I don't think seven jerkings in a day is normal. However, regular masturbation for both men and women is definitely healthy. Why not decrease the number of wacking sessions to one per day and gradually wean yourself from your penis partnership. You'll be thankful in the end when you have much more TIME on your hands instead of dick.
Chris: Normal? No. Safe? Probably not.I'll be honest; that's a lot of masturbating.And the "at least" portion of your question disturbed me.Seven? Geez.
9.23.04 Jayplay
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