Wescoe wit
[Oh, you guys say some of the darndest things.]
Not to make you all scared, but we’re eavesdropping on your conversations. Yes, we hear everything and then we print it. But don’t worry if you say something stupid, we won’t identify you — unless you owe us money or beer.
Girl 1: That foam party was so much fun last night.
Girl 2: (Responds in unknown language.)
Girl 1: I was so hot in there, and I was like drenched in all this foam, it was crazy.
Girl 2: Really (followed by more foreign language.)
Girl 1: I was wearing this tank top and everything: it was totally wet. I had so much fun.
Girl 2: (unknown response, some sort of goodbye).
Girl 1: Yeah, I'll see you later.
Guy 1: I don't know.I think I ended up going back to that other party with that one dude.
Guy 2: Yeah, that was crazy. There was this girl that I gave a ride home. She ended up passing out in my car. It was ridiculous.
Guy 1: That party was crazy.
Guy 2: I didn't think
was going to make it
to my first class.
Guy 1: Speaking of class, I gotta go dude.
Guy: I have to go to class pretty soon. We are playing Monopoly like all day today.
Girl: That's cool. I wish that we did fun stuff in my class.
Guy: Yeah, but we have to write down every transaction.
Girl: That's okay, it's still better than listening to a lecture or something.
Guy: I guess. Well, I gotta get to class.
Girl: Right on, have fun playing.
— Robert Riley
5ive questions
One KU "famous," one KU not (yet) famous
Rose Lynn Catherine, customer service at the KU Bookstore
Rumpa Yeasin,
Overland Park
freshman
Yeasin: "I would definitely say a cheetah because I could hunt and kill any person who annoyed me."
If you could be any animal, which would you be? Catherine:"A cat because I love cats."
What is your favorite drink, alcoholic or not?
Catherine: "Iced tea. I'm a tea addict, actually."
Catherine: "I have three children, so I would want them." Yeasin: "Brad Pitt. No clothes. Augh!"
Yeasin: "Martinis because you can make them any flavor."
You're stuck on a deserted island. Whom do you want with you?
Have you ever been in a fight? If so, did you win? Catherine: "No, I've never been in a fight."
Yeasin: "Not a physical fight, but many verbal fights. I won them all."
Finally, when was the last time you cut your toenails? Catherine:"Sometime last week."
Yeasin: "I don't really keep it on my calendar, but probably a couple of days ago."
Erik Johnson
By Jessi Crowder and Chris Tackett
[We won't tell your mom that she's hot well, at least not in front of your dad.]
I'm wanting to major in African studies, but both my parents are somewhat racist. I'm worried that they won't pay for my education if they find out. How can I get around them knowing what I'm studying?
Tara,Freshman
**Chris:** Geez, that sucks. But, lying for the next four years will suck even more. Sure, you could possibly pull it off, but what will you do when you graduate? Will you lie about your career too? If you're depending on the money, do what you have to. But a more noble action would be to tell your folks you don't share their racist viewpoints and to keep their effing money.
Jessi: Personally, I'm a strong proponent of communication. Confront the issue directly and talk to them about your future plans. If they withdraw funding for your schooling, there's always financial aid, grants and student loans to get by. Many students support themselves through school, so you wouldn't be alone in that regard. Good luck.
How do I go about asking one of my coworkers if he's gay or not? I don't want to bluntly ask, because it may offend him. But if he's straight, I want to date him, but I can't read his signals.
Help me!
Julie, Sophomore
Chris: You're right. "Are you gay?" would be slightly too direct. Try asking if he has a girlfriend or when the last time he had a girlfriend was. You could also try having one of your gay friends hit on him. Or ask him to go shopping with you, and if he get's really really excited, he might be gay.
Jessi: I'd be discrete, and use the ole "Which celebrity do you want to bang?" And if he's vague, give him an ultimatum: Jennifer or Brad.
My roommates' taste in girls is totally different than mine. It's so different, he sometimes makes comments about not finding the girls I date very attractive. Why is this?
— James. Sophomore
Chris: He's a dick. And he probably doesn't find the girls you date attractive. It doesn't mean you aren't banging hot chicks, it's just that his definition of "hot" differs from yours. It's like how your dad likes banging your mom, but you don't really find her that attractive. See how that's exactly the same. See.
Jessi: Why does he comment on the girls you date? Because he's rude. Why do your tastes differ? Because everyone has preferences in their mate. What we're attracted to is developed early on and stays with us into our pruny years. These tastes stem from childhood sexual experiences of "you show me yours, I'll show you mine."
9.16.04 Jayplay
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