Thurs. 9/16 What do you get when you cross a relativity theorist with a surrealist artist at a Paris bar? A chance meeting between Albert Einstein and Pablo Picasso that is sure to bring intelligent wit to the stage. Observe for yourself when you see Picasso at Lapin Agile, a play written by Steve Martin (yes, Steve Martin, the wild and crazy banjo-playing actor.) SUA sponsors the event tonight from 7:00 to 9:00 in Alderson Auditorium at the Kansas Union. Ten Mile Tide, Fatso's, 9 p.m. to 1 a.m. Leon Redbone, Liberty Hall , 8 p.m., $23 Steve Ewing, former frontman of The Urge, The Hurricane, 9 p.m., $5 Neon, The Bottleneck, 10 p.m., $5 Rev-Elation, The Meat Market, 10 p.m. to 1 a.m., $2 Shake Your Culo, EightOneFive, 10 p.m. to 2 a.m., $3 Fri 9/17 If you're already exhausted by the routine 30-minute wait at your regular Friday night bar, take a break and go back to the Old West. The Jackpot Saloon and Music Hall,943 Massachusetts,will feature Professor Blow-Chi's Thrill A-Go-Go Burlesque Show,a bawdy slapstick vaudeville about a girlie stage show that will make your jaw drop.The show starts at 10 p.m.Bring your I.D. and $5 for the door. Mike Roberts, Bambino's Italian Cafe, 6 p.m. to 9 p.m., free Matt Wertz / Tanner Walle, Abe & Jake's Landing, 7 p.m., $7 to$ 10 Matt McGee, Signs of Life, 8:30 p.m., free Black Keys / The Cuts, The Granada Theatre, 9:30 p.m., $10 Friday night Dance Party, EightOneFive, 10 p.m. Sat. 9/18 Sesquicentennial Birthday Party, 10 a.m. parade on Mass, and party at South Park, 11th and Mass., free to all. Celebrate Lawrence's 150th birthday at South Park. Enjoy free birthday cake, music, prizes, activities, contests, pony rides and a petting zoo. The event ends at around 3 p.m.. Don't miss your chance to be part of this piece of Lawrence's history. The Sexy Sounds of Aaron Marable, Gaslight Tavern & Coffeehouse, 9 p.m., free The Good Life / Neva Dinova / Race For Titles / Kelpie, The Bottleneck, 9 p.m., $7 Son Venezuela, Abe & Jake's Landing, 9 p.m., $5 Shaking Tree / Distance to Empty / Jeff Kanterman, The Granada Theatre, 9 p.m., $4 Balagan at the Gaslight, Gaslight Tavern & Coffeehouse, 9:30 p.m. to 12:30 a.m., free DJ Not a DJ, The Jazzhaus, 10 p.m., $4 Boy Skouts, The Replay Lounge, 11 p.m., $1 Live Jazz: Matthew Brewer, Starbucks, 4 p.m. to 6 p.m., free Sun. 9/19 Elevator Division CD release / Veda, The Hurricane, 8 p.m. to 11 p.m., $5 to$ 8 Bowling for Soup / Ludo, The Granada Theatre, 8 p.m., $12 Dirty Boogie, Gaslight Tavern & Coffeehouse, 10 p.m., free Usher / Kanye West, Kemper Arena, 8 p.m. $42.50 to$ 62.50 DJ Shad, The Jazzhaus, 10 p.m., $2 The Amazing Donkey Show, Jackpot Saloon and Music Hall, 11 p.m., $3 Mon. 9/20 Emery / Brazil / From First to Last / Name Taken, El Torreon, 7 p.m., $8 to$ 10 "The Essence" open mic night, The Hurricane, 9 p.m. to 12:30 a.m., $3 Open Mic, The Bottleneck, 9 p.m., free The Spanktones Open Jam, The Jazzhaus, 9 p.m., $2 Cosmic Egg / Slider, Jackpot Saloon and Music Hall, 10 p.m., $2 Tues. 9/21 Calling all Kansans: Bill Snead, a local photographer, and life-long Kansan is presenting his work in a presentation that celebrates nearly 50 years of pictures. He has done everything from photography for National Geographic to photographing the war in Vietnam. His exhibit will take place at 1515 Grand Blvd., Kansas City, Mo. The exhibit is free to attend and open to all ages. The time the doors will open and the grand show will begin is still to be announced. The Kellihans, Grand Emporium 6 p.m. to 9 p.m., Antibalas Afrobeat Orchestra, The Granada Theatre, 9 p.m., $10 DJ Proof, Gaslight Tavern & Coffeehouse, 10 p.m. PUNK NITE 2, The Bottleneck, 8 p.m. to 1 a.m., $3 Wed. 9/22 It's Wednesday and you're miserable because there still two days left in the week. So celebrate Hump Night with cheap beer and free pool at the Bottleneck, 737 New Hampshire, every Wednesday from 9 p.m.to 2 a.rn.The night includes $1.50 pints of Boulevard brews and ticket giveaways to upcoming Bottleneck shows. Have a Presidential foot fetish? Check out the Truman Shoes Exhibit, a display of former president Harry S.Truman's funky footwear at the Harry S.Truman Museum and Library, 500 w.U.S. Hwy 24, Independence, MO. Admission is free. The Debonaires / The Uprights, The Bottleneck, 6 p.m. Cory Morrow. Abe & Jake's Landing, 8 p.m. $10 Dance Night, EightOneFive, 10 p.m., $3 Acoustic Open Mic Night, The Jazzhaus, 10 p.m., $2 Big Metal Rooster / Hooch, The Bottleneck, 10 p.m., $3 Rope / Malachy Papers, The Replay Lounge, 11 p.m., $2 What we want you to do. Really. Do it. 9.16.04 Jayplay 3