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OPINION
WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 15, 2004
THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
www.kansan.com
Free for All Call 864-0500
Free for All callers have 20 seconds to speak about any topic they wish. Kansas editors reserve the right to omit comments. Slanderous and obscene statements will not be printed. Phone numbers of all incoming calls are recorded.
For more comments, go to www.kansan.com.
If peeing your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis!
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There's this kid in my class who looks exactly like Zack Morris. But the funny thing is, he hangs out with a kid with short, brown hair.
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A special thanks to the girl on the bus who gave me her newspaper to sop up the blood from my stigmata and the people in the library who gave me Band-Aids, too. Thanks.
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I bet you Bob Billings is rolling over in his grave every time you say 15th Street instead of Bob Billings Parkway.
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How awesome is this? I'm watching West Wing and they have a group of students from KU and they used the Kansas Jayhawks on the West Wing. Rock on!
Hey, guys in Tower C! Still trying to figure out who's playing laser tag with you? Ha, ha! We'll never tell...
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You got a joint? Be a lot cooler if you did.
This is to Brody in Hashinger: You are not a small. Wear a bigger t-shirt.
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I'm watching the West Wing and they just said Jayhawks. How cool is that?
Oven mitts don't wear thongs! They have no reason to wear a bathing suit, they have no butt! Where are they gonna put it?
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We figured out that the Gingerbread Man on "Shrek" actually could wear a thong because he has legs and a butt.
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So, can the Trix Rabbit wear a thong? No, because Trix are for kids, you pervl
Hey Free for All, there's a car on Crestline that just went through a chimney. The whole neighborhood is out. Dude, it's awesome and everyone's drunk. This is cool.
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To whoever drew the cartoon against Bush:
Tell them I'm glad I feel very free in our country.
I hope you do, too.
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Someone should tell Martha Stewart to put the lotion in the basket.
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Man, driving to St. Louis from Kansas and then to Memphis and back to St. Louis and then to Kansas would suck a lot.
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This goes out to the owners of the Mad Hatter. If you're wondering why your bar isn't staying full all hours of business, it may be because your drink specials are completely and wholly horrible. Horribel Lower the prices, you might get more people.
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I don't care who you are, that's funny right there.
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(singing) And this bird you cannot change...
TALK TO US
 Henry C. Jackson
 editor
1890 or blackboard@karenclark.com
I just saw a guy in front of the Union mopping the sidewalk. What is wrong with this picture?
Maicoim Gibson
general manager and news adviser
864-7867 or mgibson@kanan.com
EDITORIAL BOARD MEMBERS
Laura rose Barr, Ty Beaver, Gray Good, Anna
Gregory, Jack Henry-Rhoads, Kally Hollowell,
Nate Karner, Jay Kirmel, Stephanie Lovett,
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Tran, Anne Weltmer and Michelle Wood
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Has anyone ever seen Broadband Man and
Chancellor Hemenway in the same room?
Makes you think, doesn't it?
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Justin Roberts business manager 864-4358 or advertising@ansan.com
The Kansan welcomes letters to the editors and guest columns submitted by students, faculty and alumni.
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Donovan Atkinson and Andrew Vaupel
managing editors
864-4810 or datkinson@kansei.com and
avupek@kansei.com
So, I think my mailman wants to fight and all I want to say is bring it on, mailman!
Who the heck is Broadband Man and why should I care?
Yeah, I was just wondering what happened to KU Info? When I was a freshman, they could tell me how many trees were on campus. Today, I called them to ask for the number for the Free for All and they gave me the number to the computer help desk. Just a thought.
Stephanie Graham
retail sales manager
864-4358 or advertising@kansan.com
length, or reject all submissions. Letters to the editor should be no longer than 200 words and guest columns should not exceed 650 words. To submit a letter to the editor or a column, e-mail the document to opinion@kansan.com with your name, hometown, year in school or position and phone number.
I would just like to say that the KU Web site is an absolute joke. It is the worst Web site I have ever seen in my life. I click on B to see my classes, I click on W to check my e-mail, and I click on L to enroll in classes. I really don't understand.
864-4810 or hjackson@kansan.com
Anna Clovis and Samia Khan opinion editors 864-4924 or opinion@kansan.com
EDITORIAL BOARD MEMBERS
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length, or reject all submissions. Letters to the editor should be no longer than 200 words and guest columns should not exceed 650 words. To submit a letter to the editor or a column, e-mail the document to opinion@kansan.com with your name, hometown, year in school or position and phone number.
I've been waiting for 20 minutes for the Oliver bus and I've been standing here in the same spot. I could have made it home by now. What's wrong with me?
Yeah, I got news for everyone: Democrats are raging idiots.
length, or reject all submissions. Letters to the editor should be no longer than 200 words and guest columns should not exceed 650 words. To submit a letter to the editor or a column, e-mail the document to opinion@kansan.com with your name, hometown, year in school or position and phone number.
Liberals are idiots. G.W. 2004.
length, or reject all submissions. Letters to the editor should be no longer than 200 words and guest columns should not exceed 650 words. To submit a letter to the editor or a column, e-mail the document to opinion@kansan.com with your name, hometown, year in school or position and phone number.
Yeah, it's 10:00 right now and I just drove past Wescoe Beach and all I get says is, "What the crap?)" It's like a freaking circus out there! They got jugglers and dancers and batons and crap.
What? Is this my message? I wanted to say to the Free for All that John Kerry said that if he knew then that the intelligence was bunk, he still would have voted for the war in Iraq. Think about that in the voting booth. Vote "None of the above" if that should support your views.
length, or reject all submissions. Letters to the editor should be no longer than 200 words and guest columns should not exceed 650 words. To submit a letter to the editor or a column, e-mail the document to opinion@kansan.com with your name, hometown, year in school or position and phone number.
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length, or reject all submissions. Letters to the editor should be no longer than 200 words and guest columns should not exceed 650 words. To submit a letter to the editor or a column, e-mail the document to opinion@kansan.com with your name, hometown, year in school or position and phone number.
Whoever drives a Toyota Camry with a "Trogdor, the Burninator" bumper sticker and some other Strong Bad bumper stickers on their car has been saved and you are awesome.
Hey, if anybody out there knows the red-headed ski team member's number, please let me know.
I was just thinking how much easier today would have been if I had not been wearing underwear.
length, or reject all submissions. Letters to the editor should be no longer than 200 words and guest columns should not exceed 650 words. To submit a letter to the editor or a column, e-mail the document to opinion@kansan.com with your name, hometown, year in school or position and phone number.
length, or reject all submissions. Letters to the editor should be no longer than 200 words and guest columns should not exceed 650 words. To submit a letter to the editor or a column, e-mail the document to opinion@kansan.com with your name, hometown, year in school or position and phone number.
Alfred. His name is Alfred. Wolf Man's name is Alfred. Get it right, come on!
--length, or reject all submissions. Letters to the editor should be no longer than 200 words and guest columns should not exceed 650 words. To submit a letter to the editor or a column, e-mail the document to opinion@kansan.com with your name, hometown, year in school or position and phone number.
Some dude tried to park his car in someone else's living room.
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STINSON'S VIEW
For any questions, call Anna Clovis or Samaia Khan at khan@4824-4942 or email@kansan.com. General questions should be directed to the editor at editor@kansan.com.
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Surf language Web sites,fo' shizzle
The time has come to look at language through a powerful yet entertaining lens: the Internet.
Language experts and novices alike make their Web presence known by building Web sites that manage language in ways that conventional dictionaries cannot. Rather than merely analyzing the content of such sites and reporting our results, we decided that it would be more enjoyable to share a few language Web site highlights and let readers explore on their own.
Apostrophe Protection Society www.apostrophe.fsnet.co.uk/index.htm m
Grammar police of the world, unite! Faced with relentless apostrophe catastrophes such as "banana's for sale" and "wedding dresses", the APS aims to educate the public about the proper use of this much maligned punctuation mark. It also provides many amusing examples of real life apostrophe abuse.
KU Writing Center www.writing.
ku.edu
hours every weekday
Fun with dialects http://hcs.harvard.edu/~golder/dialect/maps.php
LANGUAGE RULES!
The KU Writing Center's Web site has information on how to write for a specific class, such as, "Chemistry: Writing Lab Reports," and how to put together personal statements for applications to graduate programs. In addition to the abundance of how-to articles, the site lists services provided by the Writing Center. Features include "Ask the Grammar Guru," where answers will be sent by e-mail within 24 hours every weekday.
This Web site maps out the results of a Harvard survey on American English
APRIL BENSON AND LAUBEN STEWART
opinion@kansan.com
dialects. With 122 different sections, Web site visitors can discover geographic preferences toward certain linguistic choices. For example, item number 44 asks if "cream cheese" should be pronounced "CREAM cheese" with an emphasis on first word or "cream CHEESE" with an emphasis on second word.
Ask Snoop www.asksnoop.com
Oh, the wonders of asksnoop.com! It translates — nay, it shizzolates — Web sites from English to the vernacular of Snoop Dogg himself, know what I'm sayin'. This fake English dialect of Izzle, though debatably demeaning and stereotypical, provides much entertainment. The written manifestation of this dialect, a primarily spoken English, is inherently ridiculous. Plus, when it occurs in unexpected situations, like, for instance, on the KU homepage, Izzle is hilarious.
Spy on Words Wordspy.com
Ever wondered the first time the phrase "freshman 15" was used in print, or what it means? Look no further than wordspy.com, a casual Web site that calls its task of seeking out new words and phrases in the English language lexpionage. Among its most popular
entries are "google bombing," "extreme ironing" and "furkid." Confused? Surf for yourself.
Onelook Dictionary Search www.onelook.com
Onelook is quite possibly the coolest dictionary Web site ever. It doesn't replace the traditional dictionary, but augments its function: Why search one dictionary when you can search 900 at the same time? With six million words indexed from more than 900 dictionaries, Onelook provides quick definitions, examples and translations with links to online dictionaries for more information. The Web site is incredibly user-friendly, too.
Urban Dictionary www.urbandictionary.com
Equipped to eliminate visitors' embarrassing moments for not knowing slang, Urban Dictionary doesn't operate by a one-definition standard. Anyone who wants to submit a definition can, leaving readers with a well-rounded view of a word's meaning. This Web site is extremely dynamic. A recent visit showed more than 500 submissions in one day. One contributor defines Urban Dictionary itself as, "A site that is pretty useful to temporarily alleviate boredom at 3 a.m." Just keep in mind that the open nature of the Web site leads to some questionable content. Some people are too bored at 3 a.m.
people are the diversity of the English language doesn't stop here, fo' shizzle. Word.
Benson is a Grand Island, Neb., senior in English and music. Stewart is a Wichita senior in English.
WEDNE
WIF
Bisexuality widely misunderstood
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Boulevard
SEX 101
STEPHEN MOLES
opinion@kansan.com
As to why the bisexual is so thoroughly misunderstood and criticized by the populace, I believe it is fear.
someone who is on the other side of the spectrum. Someone in the middle seems bizarre. They upset the nature of the two sexual camps, creating a bridge that shows gay and straight are continuous rather then polar.
Their nature also makes us ask the questions, "Could I be bisexual and not even know it? What constitutes bisexual anyway?" So the general population must trivialize, belittle and compart-
Alliso relations ager for said the ranged hundred
"It's I sus a M
The bisexual is an elusive creature spied at drunken parties, group orgies and dark corners. These musings are a way of making sense out of the chaos surrounding the idea of bisexuals.
CONTINU
surrounding the race.
The term bisexual is misleading. Society at large believes this term means someone who likes both sexes equally. This assumption, which I also held for a long time, is not true. Most bisexual lean one way or the other (most often towards members of the opposite sex).
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opposite sex). Bisexual is also a term that covers a large range of sexual attitudes and postures.
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or er reaso said. know
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tures.
For the time being, I would like to redefine the term bisexual not as someone who likes both sexes, but as a blanket term for people who don't distinctly label themselves as gay or straight, or those actions may be interpreted by society as neither completely gay nor straight.
straight.
As to why the bisexual is so thoroughly misunderstood and criticized by the populace. I believe it is fear. Not the "run and hide" variety of fear, but a more subtle, uncomfortable kind of anxiety. Those of us who are firmly in the gay or straight camp can easily understand that there is
Aroul alco New hon ers
mentalize their brand of sexuality. Those bisexuals must be greedy, indecisive, confused or have some other personality flaw that leads to such deviant behavior.
bentuor. While there are some bisexuals who may possess the above stated attributes, I think part of that can be attributed to the general populace's pressure upon them and lack of acceptance.
Does society itself create the problems we hate so much? Maybe. We, the non-bisexual populace, need to have a bit more understanding. We cannot judge them as a population.
And while the bisexuals may not be making any big push for rights or recognition, they are the sexual underclass.
There are no good estimates on how many bisexuals there are, who they are and how to identify them. There might be one sitting next to you and your comments on how bisexuals are misguided and greedy may only keep them from fulfilling their own fantasies. I guess the feel good, after-school-special moral of this story is simply this: Be good to other people.
Moles is a lawrence junior in sociology