Wescoewit
[Oh, you guys say some of the darndest things. ]
Not to make you all scared, but we're eavesdropping on your conversations. Yes, we hear everything and then we print it. But don't worry if you say something stupid, we won't identify you — unless you owe us money or beer.
Guy on the phone: How old is she again? (pause) Old enough?! What the hell does that mean?
Person #2 They don't fight when they're both sober.
Person #1 They'll bawl and cry and scream on the phone. And then they'll make up and go have sex.
mentansas Innder theied in thes until act, but take in auchneers.
Person #3 Yeah, they don't fight on the weekdays...well, except that one time they were drunk on Tuesday.
Girl #1 I hate birds! Remember that time you tried to make me take a picture of those pigeons. ___
Girl #2 Yeah! HAHA. That was awesome!
Guy to his girlfriend: Hit me, come on hit me. You know you want to. Come on, stab me a little.
Guy who walks into a glass pane, thinking it's the door: WOO! I must be high!
Girl #1 She looks like an egg.
Girl#2 An egg with curly hair.
5ive questions
One KU "famous," one KU not (yet) famous
Alexander Sasha Kaun, freshman center, KU Men's basketball.
Jason Zucker, junior, Chicago
When is the last time you threw up?
Khan: Probably in 2000, when I was sick with a stomach virus.
Zucker: Two weeks ago, I ate some bad Indian food.
Who is your favorite Hollywood babe?
What makes you really angry?
Khan: When people try to prove me wrong when I am right. Zucker: Stupid people.
Khan: I would say Julia Roberts.
Zucker: Jessica Simpson, definitely.
Have you ever stolen anything?
Thing:
Khan: Maybe a pencil from a classmate, but nothing major, no.
Zucker: No, I'm not a crook.
What's the one song that always gets stuck in your head?
Khan: "I miss you" by Blink 182
Zucker: "Baby Beluga" by Raffi
By Jessi Crowder and Chris Tackett
[Let's get wasted and get in touch with our outer Willy.]
I recently acquired a girl's number I'm interested in. How long should I wait before calling her?
-Vladimir, Sophomore
a
Jessi: Two days and I can detect his eagerness. Anymore than five days and I feel the heat of the back burner. I'd say you're safe with three or four.
Chris: The idea that there are "rules" about all of this is dumb. I know girls that love it when the guy calls that next day and others that think it's never too late. Just use your gut instinct and make the call. But if your really have no idea, two days is the standard.
What's an ephrodisiac and is there such a thing?
-Lucy, Junior
Jessi: Aphrodisiacs are foods or smells said to increase arousal for both sexes. Despite popular belief, most foods don't have this effect. Chocolate is the only food I know to produce a calming, drug-like reaction. As for smells, baby powder, gasoline, and fresh-baked cookies are said to make a girl randy. For men, lavender and buttered popcorn supposedly do the trick. The most powerful and bona fide aphrodisiac of all lies within your own bod. Pheromones a.k.a. "Do me now or else" chemicals, are released by your body in PHAT members of the opposite sex. Also, anything by Marvin Gaye tends to float boats.
Chris: When I was in $8^{\mathrm{th}}$ grade my friend bought some Realm cologne which supposedly contained pheromones that would attract the ladies. I wore the stuff and nothing happened, thus proving that science is the devils work.
I have a very difficult time approaching girls. Is there any way to help alleviate this problem?
- William, Freshman
Jessi: Well, Willy, it sounds like you need to find your inner Willy. Begin by assessing how awesome you are and focus on activities in which you excel. Once you find your strengths, you'll form the confidence you need to talk to a lovely lady. Pumping iron seems to make guys feel better about themselves, too.
Chris: Do what I do, get wasted.
9.9.04 Jayplay
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