OPINION
WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 1,2004
THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
EDITORIAL
www.kansan.com
Party school status alive in hearts of students
Dear Playboy and Princeton Review,
We at the University of Kansas are disheartened with not finding our beloved Mount Oread school on recent lists of top party schools. In fact, 2002 was the last time we recall University of Kansas appearing on the list where we ranked No. 9 with Playboy. Princeton Review has shunned us since the late 90's, when we ranked eight in 1998.
There are a few assumptions that we can ponder for your decision not to include us in this year's list. Since 2002, the Lawrence police have cracked down on underage drinking and people may no longer smoke inside restaurants and bars.
The Lawrence police, according to its media relations department, has recorded 15 noise complaints involving house parties and issued 52 minors in possession from January 2003 to July 2004. Looking at those numbers, either we're partying more or we haven't given up.
No police bust can shove the cork down deeply enough into our wine bottles. We continue to party like rock stars until the sun comes up at sororities, fraternities, house parties and Mass. Street bars. So please tell us why we're not in the running anymore.
Here are a few more events that you might have overlooked:
SACK'S VIEW
David and Scott Hillenbrand, the directors of National
Lampoon's Dorm Daze, decided to kick off their promotional tour last September in Lawrence. And even Topanga from the teen sitcom, Boy Meets World, partied her heart out at one of our downtown bars, Last Call, 729 New Hampshire.
Also, in January of this year, city commissioners complained about the increase of drinking establishments in the downtown area. Clearly bar owners still think Lawrence has an active nightlife.
So make a trip back to Lawrence, Kan., for another whirlwind adventure with the crazy drunks downtown.
The beer doesn't stop flowing on Mass. Street. Do you remember the last time you stumbled your way through Kentucky and Tennessee streets on a weekend night? If you do recall your evening, then you probably didn't party there. There are enough kegs of beer on these streets to fill Hugh Hefner's pools and lather up his bunnies.
If you don't want to place us on any list of top party schools, then just please tell us where we went wrong so that we may adjust ourselves accordingly. But for goodness sake, it was nice to have the University ranked at the top for something!
Sincerely.
Students at the University of Kansas
(a.k.a the best damm party school in the nation!)
Free for All
Call 864-0500
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Free for All callers have 20 seconds to speak about any topic they wish. Kansan editors reserve the right to omit comments, Slenderous and obscene statements will not be printed. Phone numbers of all incoming calls are recorded.
Hey, Free for All. It's pancake time.
Everybody wake up.
Hello?
What's grandma doing at the sand dune?
--one who put my deodorant on while I was driving. Guess not.
one who put my deodorant on while I was driving. Guess not.
Simon, where are you? We're nervous that you transferred. Please respond.
I'm at KU Med for nursing school, and we actually get the Kansan. This is so great!
--one who put my deodorant on while I was driving. Guess not.
one who put my deodorant on while I was driving. Guess not.
Dude, I thought I was, like, the only
one who put my deodorant on while I was driving. Guess not.
I'm here with two *Free for all* virgins, trying to teach them the facts of life.
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It is Saturday, and it's, like, 2:30 in the morning and I would just like to say thank you so much to a very, very kind girl who gave me a ride home. It was raining and lightning and they stopped and gave me a ride and I just cannot thank you enough.
I'm gonna pass out waiting for SafeRide.
I graduated in May and I just called the Free for All. Hmm, this could be bad.
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--length, or reject all submissions. Letters to the editor should be no longer than 200 words and guest columns should not exceed 650 words. To submit a letter to the editor or a column, e-mail the document to opinion@kansan.com with your name, hometown, year in school or position and phone number.
Why doesn't the Senate want the Juggling Club to buy bean bags? Do they want people to learn to juggle with knives instead?
I was just driving by 15th and Inverness and I saw a guy in a K-State hat mowing a lawn. I guess that's the best job you can get with that kind of degree.
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Am I drunk or is there a condom walking down the street?
图
My roommate just pulled the mattress off of her bed and dragged it into the hallway. Wow, she's drunk.
Malcolm Gibson
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STAR TRIBUNE SAK
Sec. RumsFeLD, I've JUST READ the ABU GHRAIB REPORTS.
YOU'RE FIRED!
YOU'RE SUSPENDED.
I'M DOCKING YOUR PAY.
A NOTE IN YOUR FILE.
NO TV FOR YOU
TONIGHT, YOUNG MAN
HAVE I TOLD YOU LATELY HOW SUPERB YOU ARE?
Best W.
Steve Seck/Star Tribune
Grammar police can take break
There's no such thing as proper English.
LANGUAGE RULES!
We know your teachers may demand its use in your papers, and we know that you have been carefully taught to ask if you may go to the bathroom, not if you can.
Perhaps a third grade teacher, a grandma or a friend has policed the grammar you use at some point in your life. We're guilty of it, too. However, there has never been a singular authority over the English language as a whole.
English is so complex that it can't be contained in one simple place. Though many grammarians have railed against a so-called degeneration of the language (some believe that slang and the use of changed rules for Internet English are taking the language downhill), their position is dictatorial. It implies that purity or perfection in the English language can be achieved. The number of books published on this subject and he number of different dictionaries can attest to the impossibility of a proper English.
Proper English is a social construct. Some scholars recognize that the results of these varying influences have become not one singular "English," but instead the plural: "Englishes."
Even people who cannot claim to know a second language know multiple versions of their own. You probably make different linguistic choices when
APRIL BENSON AND LAUREN STEWART
ovinion@kansan.com
you are talking with a professor than you do with a classmate.
The English language has changed dramatically over the past 1600 years. As English widened in scope, it still varied significantly by geographic areas.
The innovation of the printing press and other technological advances called for more consistency in the language, hence, standard English, the kind that professors implore their students to use on formal papers. It's the kind that "grammar police" are seeking.
The problem, as mentioned earlier, is that there is not a unanimously standard English. This argument is not to say that rules and grammar are not important. Following grammar, using correct spelling, punctuation and other standardized practices is necessary to communicate effectively with an audience, whether it's a professor, a friend or your boss.
We must strive to write the standard English of the academic and professional worlds in hopes that it will be
understood across a wide variety of audiences. Writing standard English and following basic rules of grammar are to a student's advantage in terms of clarity and understanding.
Grammar has different definitions. Grammar can be a set of rules that language users consciously try to follow. The word can also refer to the way people organize their language without even realizing it. When someone says, "I am going to class," something in their brain has arranged those words in a way that others understand (an audience would not understand as easily if the statement was, "going class I am to").
Should English users subscribe to proper English? Must they do so all the time? Or do speakers know enough grammar from everyday life to communicate clearly, rendering standard English unnecessary?
Standard English is necessary, but not all the time. It is necessary in academic and professional writing because it conveys one's education, credibility and ability to communicate with diverse audiences. But it is probably OK to break a few grammar rules in an informal conversation, especially if you are familiar with your audience. It's your language.
Benson is a Grand Island, Neb. senior in English and music. Stewart is a Wichita senior in English.
Respect handicap parking need
People complain incessantly about the "impossible" parking situation here at the University of Kansas.
Perfectly healthy, nondisabled University students and faculty do not have a God-given right to park in hand-capped spaces just because everything else is full, they're late to a class or they don't want to walk more than 200 feet.
We need more parking spaces. But that's not the problem.
People with physical limitations need those spaces. You can walk, bike and run to class.
NOT UNHEARD OF
TARA SCHUPNER
opinion@kansan.com
Being able to park in a handicap space "can be the difference between whether people with disabilities are able to attend their class or not," said Donna Hutline, director of the Parking Department.
During the 2004 spring semester, from January 23 to May 1, the Parking Department issued 146 citations — an average of 1.5 each day. They didn't catch everyone who parked illegally.
That means at least twice a day, someone with a genuine disability was denied an accessible parking space.
And don't park in loading and unloading zones. Those stripes on the pavement are not there for decoration. If you park there, how will people with disabilities get out of their cars?
But what's even more revolting is "borrowing" placards or modifying the
expiration date to park in handicapped spaces.
Recently, a student was caught using his grandfather's permit to park on campus.
Hultine has a collection of more than 20 confiscated placards in her office. It's astounding the lengths people will go to pass themselves off as disabled. Computer print-outs, numerical stickers, even markers were used.
WE B
The state of Kansas issues placards for disabilities including visual impairments, stopping to rest after less than 100 feet, lung disease, severe cardiac conditions and debilitating arthritic, orthopedic or neurological conditions.
But don't always jump to conclusions if you believe someone is parked illegally. Not all disabilities are visible.
The Parking Department cannot always catch violators. If you see potential abuse, call the parking department and report it.
So be understanding and don't body-slam someone who is not using a wheel-chair or crutches. You could knock some pretty valuable wind out of them.
On campus, the current fee for parking illegally in handicap stalls, in loading and unloading zones or in front of a ramp is $100. That's not enough.
"State law says it can be up to $500," said Hultine. "Illegally parked cars should be towed. Ticketing doesn't help the person who needs the stall, towing creates a space for them quickly."
A $500 fee and towing illegally parked cars is all very well, but one more consequence would round out the lesson to perfection.
People who park illegally or who falsify handicap placards should be dragged to McCollum, plunked in a wheelchair, and made to venture their way to the Kansas Union by way of 15th Street and Sunnyside Avenue.
Next time you drive by a vacant handicap stall and contemplate parking there, think twice. There are 13,587 spaces to park in on campus, but only 320 handicap stalls. Leave them for the people who really need them.
And being late to class does not mean you need them.
Schupper is a Lenexa senior in journalism and English. She is deal.
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