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Seeking a higher power
College offers students the opportunity to develop a new spirituality, despite their family beliefs
Lydia Taylor's rebellion started early. At the age of five, Taylor and her two brothers would sneak a cassette deck into the house and listen to contraband music under their covers at night.
"My first favorite band was Guns 'N Roses," said Taylor, Wichita junior and Kansan columnist. "My brother snuck it in several times and it was always discovered and destroyed."
Taylor's childhood was rooted in the faith of a Jehovah's Witness. When she came to the University of Kansas two years ago, she became atheist.
Taylor is not alone in questioning her beliefs, and the university atmosphere often provides a prime opportunity. Thad Holcombe, pastor of Ecumenical Christian Ministries, said any major change, such as studying overseas or going to college, engendered self-exploration.
"It raises questions of one's own religion," he said. "They're challenged to find the relationship between the meaning of all they see with the mystery of what is going on in their lives. Sometimes they change, deepen or drop out. But that's OK. That's the risk you take."
"It's best to ask questions and raise questions, particularly for students who have come from a traditional religion and now have a perspective that allows them to make decisions," he said.
Holcombe also said that from the ages of 17 to 35, most people search for their faith. While at college, they finally have permission to explore.
Taylor's doubts about her religion began when she was 10 years old. She said that in reading the novel 1984 by George Orwell, she could see similarities between the organization of the Jehovah's Witness and the society of Big Brother.
When Taylor came to college, she decided that she didn't believe the doctrines of the Jehovah's Witness and that she never would.
"Being at college gave me objectivity because I was away from the pressures of family and friends and having to go to meetings," she said. "I could consider all options. It helped to disconnect myself emotionally."
"The religion focuses on having to do good deeds to feel good about yourself," she said. "It's about the here and now — not the distant future."
"I really don't have an active role in my life right now," she said. "Mom retains hope that I will become one. I don't know if anything I could save would swai that."
Her break with Jehovah's Witness has strained her relationship with her parents.
Growing up, Taylor's books and music were censored by her parents. Her family didn't celebrate holidays, and it's hard for her to remember her brothers' ages because they didn't celebrate birthdays. She could not salute the flag and couldn't socialize with anyone outside of the faith.
Chacon grew up Catholic, but converted to Judaism in June. Her first introduction to the Jewish culture was during a trip to Israel with a friend three years ago. They started to discuss religion at historical sites, and Judaism struck Chacon as something that made sense.
While Taylor rebelled against a religion that was too strict, Andrea Batres-Chacon, Guatemala City, Guatemala, senior converted to Judaism because she wanted a personal connection with a higher power.
"I'll defend them but start out objectively and say 'They believe...' But when the discussion becomes heated, I revert to 'We believe...' which frustrates me to no end because I don't believe that way anymore."
When Chacon returned from the trip, she started to research other religions. She realized she didn't have to be Catholic simply because she was raised in that faith.
Although Taylor made her break with Jehovah's Witness a couple of years ago, she said she still had a tendency to react according to the beliefs in which she was raised.
"I did my research and shopped around," she said. "I think all religions are equally valid. I wanted a personal relationship with God, not through someone else, especially not another human." Growing up in Guatemala, Chacon went to church for weddings, baptisms and funerals.
"I didn't get a lot of spirituality from that," Chacon said. "We were very distant from the church. You can go through the motions, but if you don't feel it, it's not spiritual. If a religion doesn't invoke something emotional, why bother?"
Chacon gets mixed reactions when people hear of her conversion. Her mother was worried because she didn't understand Judaism. Chacon introduced her to the religion by buying her mystery books in which the detective was a rabbi.
Most of her friends are happy for her. Others feel threatened, she said.
Chacon's conversion took a year. For that year, she studied with a rabbi and was active in the Jewish community. She took a Judaism class for nine months, went to synagogue every Friday, lit candles and read. In June, Chacon wrote an essay and was interviewed by three people from the synagogue. Her final act was to submerge herself three times in a mikveh, a ritual ceremonial pool, and say a special blessing.
"It's the people who are negative who stick in your mind," she said. "The people closest to me at the time had the most negative reactions. One person told me 'Judaism is not a club. You can't just join it when you feel like it.'"
"A lot of times we're force-fed our religion from birth, and that makes it hard for us to find the good aspects of them," she said. "A lot are born into it, so they think they need to stay and don't realize they do have a choice of religion that is most comfortable with them. It's just the
"I'm more at peace with myself." Chacon said. "Before I really struggled with my religion. I know where I'm going. I don't feel so isolated anymore."
Chacon said that most college students lacked spirituality and pointed to a variety of reasons.
age we're in. We're already pretty confused."
Becoming spiritually independent and taking responsibility for his spiritual development were pillars on which Jim Para-Cremer, Destin, Fla., senior based his change from Catholicism to Baha'i.1
Cremer was born Catholic but only became involved in the faith at age 12 when he went through a whirlwind baptism and confirmation. However, as he grew older, Cremer wanted to be encouraged to question and look
deeper into the faith. He said he was tired of sitting in a pew and taking things passively.
"I've always been dissatisfied with what I call a wind-up Christian," he said. "They wouldn't live the life during the week but show up for the hour at church and then go out and get plastered."
Cremer met his wife in 1992, and they started sharing their beliefs.
- KU Baha'i Club
331-0007
Contacts
- Johovah's Witness 842-6924
- Hillel
749-5397
She was Baha'1. He started attending Baha'i meetings and going to events; in 1996, two years later, he signed his Baha'i membership card.
For more information contact KU Organizations and Leadership at 864-486.
"I was really into intellectual spiritual aspects," he said. "When I heard the Baha'i beliefs, I thought that they gave lip service to a lot of really great stuff — there has to be a drawback."
Baha'i beliefs include an independent
investigation for truth, gender and racial equality and the education of all people.
Cremer said he was much busier since he had become Baha'i. He educates himself constantly in preparation for life's experiences by reading, going to fire-sides, which are prayer meetings, and serving the community. He said that there were very few obligations in Baha'i.
"I can be my own person and celebrate others," Cremer said. "I was immediately shown that the only thing holding me back from being the best person I can be is i, and that really turned me on to the Baha i,"
His inner self also has changed.
"I'm more at ease because even when bad things happen, I see it as a test that I can rise and fight through it or wallow in my sorrow and fall," he said. "I'm much better armored against the crap in the world now that I have a stronger base of faith."