Monday, October 25,1999 The University Daily Kansas Section A · Page 5 Balancing caps and wedding gowns Continued from page 1A It's not a bed of roses It's not a lot of twins and Stacy Small are 20-year-old twins who are juniors at Vanderbilt University in Nashville, Tenn. After going from boyfriend to boyfriend, both women found themselves single when they began school almost two months ago — an idea that they were hesitant to admit scared them. Her identical twin sister agreed. "being alone doesn't scare me as much as it did before." Sallie Small said. "But it definitely worries me. Think about it, after I graduate, where am I suppose to meet him?" Her teacher said, "I went to Vanderbilt because I wanted to meet a guy there," she said. "A lot of girls come to school with the expectations of getting a M.R.S. degree, that was in the back of my mind." the sisters, who are from Greenville, S.C., said that going to Nashville, the big city, and finding a man from the South was important. Now, with two years to go, they have to think about the possibility that it might not happen. Both also are actively pursuing business degrees in human and organization development. "I guess I always thought that the man of my dreams would sweep me off my feet." Stacy Small said. "Now, I don't know." Instead, Stacy Small said she was focusing on school because she did want to be successful. She'll date, if the right guy comes along, but only if he has potential. "I'm not going to waste my time on someone who I couldn't have a relationship with," she said. "What's the point?" The sisters' attitudes may seem like a step back in time, but their emotions are more common than experts like to admit. Shirley Harkess, professor of sociology at the University of Kansas, said that she thought more female students were not as focused on establishing a family early, but that she was sure there were students, women and men, who expected to meet their mates while in school. She said looking at some of her students made her wonder if there was a change in their belief systems. change in that situation. "I am surprised at the minority of students who I come into contact with who define themselves as partnered," Harkess said. "Not so much engaged, but in very meaningful relationships. I certainly see students who are managing undergrad requirements and significant relationships." Kristy Doig, vice president of Youth Intelligence, a marketing firm in New York City, said that many college women today found themselves growing up alone because of divorce and other circumstances. Today, they're looking for some stability and think finding a man to grow old with is one way to do this, she said. "I have definitely started seeing more and more people getting married younger," she said. "There is a new set of values that doesn't work with the old stereotype of sowing your wild oats." Today's college women believe in the concept of soul mates and want romance, she said. Waiting to get married isn't always the best option. "The M.R.S. degree term sounds so old fashioned," she said. "And while people don't want to believe that women would have those intentions, some do." Liz Nickles and Laurie Ashcraft, of Nickles and Ashcraft research firm in Chicago, agreed with Doig, despite their hesitations to admit it. She said that they have found through surveys that young women today believed they could go to college and achieve it all — the husband, family and career. She said they wanted adulthood. "I have noticed the trend in younger women looking for a family and a husband," Nickles said. "The notion of emotional extremism isn't true, they really want to embrace a family, but they have to get married first." "We've heard that women are supposed to draw a line in the sand between staying home or going to the office," Nickles said. "This generation sees the possibility of crossing over and handling both. It does n't necessarily mean they're negating their career. Maybe that's one reason the M.R.S. thing is back. They don't have to chose one or the other, and it's not a step back in time." According to Nickles and Ashcraft's survey, the Gen Y2K Report. 79 percent of females between 20 and 24 years old said it was OK to take time from a career for responsibilities at home. In another one of the firm's surveys, The New Millennium Woman, 82 percent of women in the same age group said that motherhood was the most important job in the world. ried in 1994 was 24.5 years old. Doig reported that the average will stop moving up and begin to fall some. She said it eventually would level off closer to the 1970 average age of 20.8 years old. While the U.S. Census bureau reports that the average age a woman got mar- The idea of getting married near age 25 never has been socially unacceptable. The median age of a first marriage for American women has ranged between 20 and 25 years old for the past century. In another survey, the General Social Survey of the University of Chicago. 80.5 percent of 18- to 20-year-olds answered "yes" when asked if they would get married if they found the right people. Nearly 7 percent of incoming college freshmen said they would get married before they graduated, according to the Higher Education Research Institute. Lindsay Gilliland, a 21-year-old Hutchinson senior, recently became engaged to Tyler Clements, Overland Park senior, who she said took priority to her broadcast journalism career. Going to the chapel While she wasn't sure if she would meet her potential husband at the University, she always hoped she would. Despite her young age, she said that when she fell in love, she knew she couldn't wait long to get married. The two are getting married in June. "I want to be a great wife and a wonderful mom." Gilliland said. "My career will come second." Gilliland, who was familiar with the term M.R.S. degree, said that it didn't apply to her. "The M.R.S. term is a bit degrading." she said. "I came to college to gain knowledge. It's just as useful to use that same knowledge in the home as it is in the corporation." She said that while she planned to pursue her career, it was not her priority. She said that she struggled with the idea of being a teacher home mom vs. being a professional. "If anything, I think there's pressure today to wait awhile before marriage and gain some life experience," she said. "That's silly for me, my life experience is with Tyler." Laura Rupe, Wichita freshman, said that her mother and her grandmother both went to college for their M.R.S. degrees, and while she wouldn't mind if she met her future husband in school, she's not working for hers. "Most likely, I will meet him here," she said. Rupe said she went about three times a week and figured whatever happened would happen. She's looking for someone who is funny, intelligent, good looking, and it's important for him to have a degree and stable job. "Ideally, in five years, I see myself with at least a serious boyfriend, if not engaged," Rupe said. She said while she didn't want women to lose themselves in a man, she did want women to follow a set of rules for ultimate marriage happiness. Although there is a chapter in the book devoted to dating in college, Fein listed several additional ways to meet Mr. Right while in school. Looking for Mr. Right Ellen Fein, co-author of The Rules, a best-selling book that describes the basics of catching Mr. Right, said college women needed to be careful while dating. "If you're at school looking for that perfect man, try to act like you're not. Go to class. If not, it's such a turnoff." "Eat sensibly, wear make up, read fashion magazines," she said. "But also, pick a major and establish a career goal. Don't be a ditz." The idea that women need to look perfect to attract a man, even while at college, is certainly on the rise according to industry reports. Retail and cosmetics industry reports indicate that more and more women are purchasing items to make them look better each year. And shopping centers in America broke the $1 trillion sales mark in 1998 with a 5 percent increase compared to 1997 sales, according to the International Council of Shopping Centers. Additionally, 727 new shopping centers opened last year and 575 more were under construction. There's a booming market. Angela Thompson, a TCU professor of sociology and self-claimed wedding expert, said that more women went to her classes dressed up than they did in the past. She said that it could be a regional characteristic, but she wasn't sure. She pointed out that she heard M.R.S. degree used more often in Texas than she did while teaching in Massachusetts. - Edited by Jamie Knodel There will be an informational session held Oct. 25 $ ^{th} $ at 5:30 p.m. at the Hillel House located at 940 Mississippi. Come hear about the trip and enjoy a free dinner. The trip is sponsored by Aish HaTorah International Questions should be addressed to the Hillel House at 749-5397 Another FREE Israel Trip: The Jerusalem Fellowships NO STRINGS ATTACHED It's a KU FJT Halloween Celebration! (BOO!) For three weeks you can expand your knowledge of Jewish wisdom, gain a first-hand perspective on Israeli politics, and develop your own leadership potential. You will be able to hike ancient caravan routes, repel down cliffs, and visit everywhere from the Golan to the Negev. ☆ ☆ · ☆ Let's Get Spooky!! DATE: FRIDAY OCTOBER 29 TIME: 4:30 PM PLACE: 212 ROBINSON Celebrate Halloween in Michelle and Amanda's Spooky Halloween aerobics class - "Dueling Divas"!! A FREE for ALL Halloween Workout! All KU students welcome! Costumes invited! Get KU FIT! For more information call 864-3546 or stop by 208 Robinson. Jaybowl * Level 1, Kansas Union * 864-3545 BARGAIN MATINEES (INDICATED BY ()) STADIUM SEATING * ALL DIGITAL SOUTHWIND 12 3433-10WX 832-0820 W Hollywood Theaters SOUTHWIND 12 3433 IOWA | Game | Min. Time | Average | | :--- | :--- | :--- | | 1 Three Kings **** | 1:15 | 4:35, 7:20, 10:00 | | 2 Renaissance Hearts **** | 1:15 | 4:10, 7:20, 10:00 | | 3 The Saint Sense **** | 1:15 | 4:40, 7:10, 9:45 | | 4 Bala **** | 1:25 | 4:25, 7:45, 9:40 | | 5 Three To Dance **** | 1:35 | 4:20, 7:35, 9:55 | | 6 Fight Club **** | 1:00 | 4:00, 7:55, 9:55 | | 7 Bringing Out the Dead **** | 1:55 | 4:15, 12:00, 9:30 | | 8 The Story of Us **** | 1:10 | 4:10, 10:00, 9:30 | | 9 American Beauty **** | 1:25 | 4:55, 10:00, 9:30 | | 10 Blue Streak **** | 1:20 | 4:55, 10:00, 10:00 | | 11 Superstar **** | 1:30 | 4:50, 7:12, 9:25 | | 12 Double Jeopardy **** | 1:40 | 4:50, 7:12, 9:25 | | | Sat & Sun | Daily | | :--- | :--- | :--- | | 1 Drive Me Crazy[14] | 1:55 | 4:45, 7:20, 9:35 | | 2 For Love Of The Game [16] | 1:30 | 4:30, 7:10, 9:50 | | 3 The Best Man[17] | 1:35 | 4:30, 7:00, 9:50 | | 4 Crazy in Alabama [18] | 1:45 | 4:40, 7:10, 9:45 | | 5 Mystery, Alaska [19] | 1:40 | 4:35, 7:50, 9:50 | | 6 Body Shots [20] | 1:50 | 4:50, 7:15, 9:30 | ★ NO VIP, FRASES & SUPERSAVERS SHOWTIMES FOR TODAY ONLY ONE WAY - ROUND TIMED NOT ROUTE CHICAGO MIDWAY $39 5 non-stops daily DALLAS / FT. WORTH $39 Arrives stops daily MINN/ST. PAUL $59 4 flights daily BUFFALO / NIAGARA FALLS $69 1 Months old CINCINNATI $69 3 flights daily DENVER $69 6 non stores daily PITTSBURGH $69 3 flights daily MYRTLE BEACH $79 2 flights daily - BOEING 737 JET SERVICE - ASSIGNED SEATING - EXTRA LEGGROOM www.flyvanguard.com **IN FUN IN MYRTLE BEACH!** *3 DAY / 1 Nt. Package* from **1259 Per Person** Includes: BT air & Nts at beautiful Beach-Hotel Hotel Mtn-Thru Travel. Some person-pair, GUO人数 (1. under 16) subject to availability. Some reservation apply. Call for details **VANGUARD VACATIONS** Mon - Fri, open 9AM + Closed Sunday and Saturday *1 *B88* + 404*+5848 Toll Free*