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10.22.99 ◄
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Watching Bats, it doesn't take long to realize that the movie is far more annoying than it is scary.
If the mere appearance of Lou Diamond Phillips' name wasn't enough of a turnoff, be forewarned that he actually stars in the film. His strong, yet caring, character is joined by a strong, yet sexy, female counterpart, a mad scientist, an African-American sidekick who, stereotypically enough, frightens at the smallest noise, and a secretive U.S. military official intent on hiding secrets from everyone. The movie is one cliché after
Jimmy (Leon Robinson) doesn't like bats but lets them crawl on his arm anyway.
another.
The first scene sets the pace for the movie. Two smitten teenagers are parked on the outskirts of a small Texas town with a case of beer and burning desires. Everything seems normal at first, but mysterious rustlings begin to rattle the young couple. By the time it becomes apparent that the rustlings are a flock of angry bats, the car is soaked in the blood of its young occupants.
This causes quite a bit of consternation for Sheriff Emmett Kinsey (Phillips) and his cohorts. They call in renowned bat scientist Shelia Casper (Dina Meyer, who once guest starred on Beverly Hills 90210) and her sidekick
Left: Bat scientist Sheila (Dina Meyer) and Sheriff Emmett Kinsey (Lou Diamond Phillips) flee from clever killer bats.
Jimmy (Leon Robinson), who fears bats but works with them anyway. They are joined by a government scientist and a couple of other tag-alongs. The scientist explains, with a straight face, that he is been working on a top-secret military project concerning bats.
Film facts
The bats were trained to be smart, decisive and work well with other bats, but were apparently gone the day "playing nice with others" was taught. Wouldn't ya know it, these super bats escaped, found bat friends, taught their buddies how to be vicious and are now intent on seeing everyone it
Rating: R
Grade: Don eating everyone in town.
Where: South
Wind 12, 3433
Iowa St.
Running Time: 1 hour 39 minutes
The rest of the movie, as the beginning, is more predictable than the outcome of a KU football game. Everyone says exactly the lines they are expected to, the bats do what one would think angry bats do, and the U.S. government is as dumb-witted and hapless as always.
Lou Diamond Phillips, who somehow failed to become a big star despite his catchy name, does a good impression of his character in Young Guns. That is, he has a gun and uses it often. Dina Meyer has somewhat of a Sandra Bullock meets Linda Hamilton quality to her, in *Bats* she isn't given a fair shot to strut her stuff because of the terrible writing. No one else in the movie is worth even a mention.
The movie's special effects are late '80s at best. The bats themselves are pretty freaky looking, even if they don't really look like bats at all. The movie occasionally goes into bat-vision mode, which consists of a red filter being put over the lens of the camera. Wow.
For Halloween entertainment one would do better to rent The Blair Witch Project, which comes out on video Oct. 22. Not at all frightening in the way it was supposed to be, Bats disappoints on many levels.
Predictable Three to Tango takes a tumble
by Stephanie Sapienza Kansan Movie Critic
By the time I was five minutes into Three to Tango, starring Matthew Perry and Neve Campbell, I already was entering the eye-rolling mode. The film actually rolls the beginning credits over a silhouetted swing-dancing couple, amid colorful decor. Not only is this fad almost finished, but it is a fad that was sloppily reinvented. The opening shot is
the insanely cliched "cityscape flyin" This director's block does not end here.
Film facts
Architects Oscar Novak (Perry) and Peter Steinberg (Oliver Platt), have just landed a career-making opportunity. Chicago tycoon Charles Newman (Dylan
Rating: PG-13
Grade: D+
Where: South Wind 12,3433 Iowa St.
Running Time: hour 45 minutes
McDermott) has given them a $90 million project to complete for his company.
However, it becomes clear that Newman is the type who will take away the deal if Novak and Steinberg do not kiss his rear. One of the ways for Novak to do this is to spy on the married Newman's girlfriend, artist Amy Post (Campbell). Of course, he falls in love with her. Of course, she responds
approvingly. And, of course, there is some foible that disables Novak from telling Amy he loves her. In this particular version of the movie formula, it is that everyone thinks that Novak is gay through some sitcom-style miscommunication.
This movie does not explore any new comedic areas except for the chance to see what being thought of as gay does to a heterosexual person. In an amusing turn of events, Novak is forced to "come
out" as straight at his acceptance speech for "Gay Professional of the Year."
Campbell's Amy squeals often, in an attempt to appear cute. She tops off this act by squinting her eyes and showing her teeth every time she smiles, which screams, "I am the cutest, most eligible
It seems that the ability to play any role but Chandler completely eludes Perry. Campbell and McDermott are equally disturbing as caricatures of popular comedy stereotypes.
girl on the planet." McDermott tries too hard to be the intense, debonair tycoon. He hums between syllables, apparently attempting to characterize the speech patterns of the ruthless businessman.
A feature-length Chandler will work at the box office, because many people love Perry's character. Still others are tired of the same comedic formulas. If you are curious about this storyline, check out The Truth About Cats and Dogs.
Q&A: Interview with a Friend
Moviegoers at the Kansas Union watch Matthew Perry live. He sits on a stage at the University of California at Los Angeles, awaiting questions about his new movie, Three to Tango.
(from Emily Hughey): You seem to be the current front man for the boyishly cute, unassumingly funny role in Hollywood right now. Are you content with
this role and do you have plans of branching out in the future?
As Thank you, I'm shocked. That's a very nice compliment. I sometimes feel so geeky. But I enjoyed making this, a more serious film. I know it's not exactly Sophie's Choice
Matthew Perry
aunt I was really kind of proud of that and if I will ever branch out from that, that's a very good question.
(from Michelle at UCLA): What it is like for you to jump between the set of Friends and making a movie?
As it's so much fun. Friends gives me about four months off to make a movie, and it's time-consuming, but it's worth it. It is so much easier to do than a movie, but I enjoy it.
(from unknown): What is your favorite
enjoyment of Friends?
As I think it’s still the one where there was a blackout in New York City. That’s still my favorite.
— Emily Hughey
We Buy, Sell & Trade USED & NEW Sports Equipment
Wellness Preview Magnetic and Far-Infrared Technology & Human Wellness
Are you feeling 100%? Need to increase your energy?
Sunday, October 24,1:30 - 2:30 pm Kansas Union Jayhawk Room Speaker Dr. Jim Strang (from Chattanooga) For More Info Contact Ellen Strang (785) 841-9147
Hillel's Israeli Style Shabbat Dinner Come enjoy a traditional Shabbat dinner with great food and great people
When: October 29th at 6:00 Where: The LJCC located at 917 Highland Drive Cost: $5 per person
Please try to RSVP by October 25th
Call Eric at 840-0853 or e-mail eric5479@aol.com
Co-sponsored by ZBT