Section B · Page 8
The University Daily Kansan
Friday, October 8,1999
Sunflower Showdown
Kansan columnist tells K-State where to shove ugly violet cat
I have never written a column geared to both University of Kansas students and Kansas State University students.
A good journalist will adjust for his audience. So don't worry K-State students, I'll use small words for you.
The Collegian online has advertised that if K-State students want to know what KU students think of them, they should go to The University Daily Kansan Web site.
I fear that most K-State students are unable to navigate the World Wide Web and locate www.kansan.com. For that matter, I'm worried that most K-State students don't even know how to turn on a computer. So I'll save you all the trouble and tell you what we think of you Power-Cat-wearing chumps right here.
We don't like you. At all.
The Wildcats are like the schoolyard bully who only picks on kids half his size. This year, your non-conference schedule consists of Temple, the University of Texas at El Paso and Utah State. Last season, the three teams combined for an 8-22 record. That is a .364 winning percentage. Don't strain yourselves, guys.
What a great way to make yourselves seem like a football power. Schedule powder-puff teams all season, and then try to con your way into a bowl game. It's one of the many things wrong with college football that the Wildcats happen to epitomize. ATS Consultants' 1999 Ultimate Football Annual said, "Cupcake non-conference games...should expel them from any PGC team."
Commentary
oration if it were a perfect world." Reward yourselves without challenging yourselves. Pretend like you deserve to be among the national powers, when the rest of the nation knows what you really deserve.
Seth Jones
sports @ kansan.com
But then, you've bought into the false hype, haven't you? Ignorance is bliss.
Do you realize that your strength of schedule ranks at No. 51? Not only does Kansas have a more difficult schedule, but Baylor does also.
Why don't you do something that requires a spine for once? You see, Kansas jumped at a chance to play Notre Dame this season. We lost, and our team took it like men. The Wildcats, however, will be whining like little kids when they get
Let me tell you something else. Your "Power Cat" logo isn't that cool.
stuck in the underachiever's Humanitarian Bowl this year.
Yes, I know it's tattooed on your arm. I know that it hangs in your mail. I've seen the guys with names such as Billy Bob and Gus driving their rusted-out "78 Ford trucks
with the Power Cat tile. I'm sure you've given plenty of farmers across western Kansas, headaches because they can't quite figure out how to paint those ugly purple shapes on the side of their
shapes on the side of their barns.
Remember that morning in 1983 when you woke up and realized how ugly your Mom's lime-green curtains were? It was past time to move out of the '70s.
The same thing will happen with your Power Cat fad. One day, you'll wake up, see the thing plastered all over your house, and wonder what it was that made you invest in tacky Power Cat wallpaper.
But I have good news for you K-Staters. After you graduate, you should be able to find a job right out of college.
Someone's got to paint over all of those ugly Power Cats in Manhattan.
K-State pundit mocks hopes, predicts savage Wildcat win
Jones is a Mulvane senior in journalism.
The war of words between Kansas and Kansas State has been thicker than Terry Allen's now-trimmed mustache (I must admit, I miss the Northern Iowa used-car-salesman
What can be said, honestly, that hasn't been said before?
look) ever since I arrived on campus in 1996.
Since then, harsh words about cell phones, cargo pants, K-State night life, June Henley's "3 feet high and rising" lifestyle, Brian Kavanagh's canine treatment and numerous Lawrence and Manhattan stereotypes have flowed through both collegiate publications in reference to one thing: the annual Sunflower State Showdown.
Now bestowed with the
honor of going toe-to-toe with my University Daily Kansan toe in a battle of harsh words and one-upsmanship, I discovered my reason of choice.
weapon of choice to be limited.
Should I bring on the ruckus with a detailed report of Kansas' indecision about wearing Abercrombie & Fitch or American Eagle to home games as opposed to, say, traditional crimson and blue? Already been done.
Should I weigh in with a comparison of both schools' overall record in the '90s? No, that's been pretty common the past couple of years.
That said, retreating the past wouldn't take much effort and would
Commentary
make K-State look even worse in the eyes of Kansas and the public (Much like President Jon Wefald's "Fear of a Texas Planet" letter did last week).
So, I fall back on the ancient teachings of Sun Tzu in the Art of War for my approach: "Borrow another one's hand to kill."
Article one:
A nice bit of prophecy by then.Kansan sports editor Bill Petulla on Friday,
Nov. 8, 1996:
Jon
Balmer
sports@spub.kau.edu
"Oh, yes, the Jayhawks will win
tomorrow. Yes, the Purple Pussycats will walk home with their tails between their legs.
"Yes, Ben Rutz will throw for 315 yards, and June Henley will rush for 250 yards."
Article two: In a Oct. 30, 1988, column titled "K-State has everything to lose against Kansas," then *Kansan* sports editor Matthew Friedrichs
Nostradamus would be proud. Rutz tried to live up to the prediction, passing for 195 yards. But Junebugu? He could only muster 34 yards on 14 carries. Must have been some dank weed, Bill.
offered this deadly warning:
"The Jayhawks are 3-5, but dangerous. Given the right breaks Kansas will win Saturday. Coach Terry Allen has vastly upgraded the offense. Quarterback Zac Wegner, running back David Winbush and the rest of the team are capable of moving the ball and scoring. All the ingredients are there for a classic upset in the vein of the Boston College vs. Miami game that made Doug Flutie famous."
Most have forgotten to eat your Flutie Flakes that day, Matthew.
The "dangerous" 'Hawks didn't quite follow up their upset against Colorado the week before in style.
K-State 54 Kansas 6.
The walk down Jayhawk past is probably getting too painful. This is where you'll probably tell me 1999 is a different story. Dylan "SMU Manhandler" Smith is in charge now. K-State is far from last season's 11-0 regular season form.
Well, you're right. The 'Cats have the lowest-ranked total offense of any top 25 team. Victories have not come that easy this year.
Guess what? K-State will still send the 'Hawks on a silent, hour-and-a-half bus ride back to Lawrence. The streak will stretch to seven in the series.
What more really needs to be asked?
Final score: K-State 45, Kansas 6.
Balmer is a Kansas State senator in journalism.
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