SUNDAY BRUNCH
Sundays Will Never Be The Same
$3 OFF with KUID (Originally $14.95)
ALL YOU CAN EAT
Complimentary Mimosa with Brunch
Omelette Bar Carving Station
Made to Order Waffles
Eggs Benedict Different Quiche each Week
Fresh Fish
Pasta Feature
Chef's Special Mac & Cheese
Assorted Desserts
THE ELDRIDGE
Reservations are optional but recommended. Make by phone or at www.eldridgehotel.com
RAINE REVIEWS NEWS YOU CAN USE
HAWK TOPICS
1 EMBATTLED SECRETARY OF DEFENSE DONALD RUMSFELD RESIGNS. According to leading historians who compile rankings of military leaders, Rumsfeld will be placed just behind General Custer and just before Ghandi
WAXMAN SET TO PROBE AREAS OF BUSH GOVERNMENT.
That's a real AP headline, referring to Henry Waxman, D-California. I'm hoping that these "probes" will lead to this headline:"Waxman set to clear out Bush administration."
3 DEMOCRATS TAKE MAJORITIES IN BOTH THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES AND THE SENATE.
Lock your doors! According to some ads, our streets are about to be overrun by gay Mexican al-Qaida socialist paroled felons coming after our unborn babies!
4
BRITNEY SPEARS FILES FOR DIVORCE FROM KEVIN FEDERLINE CITING "IRRECONCILABLE DIFFERENCES."
In related news, K-Fed has canceled several shows on his tour due to America's "irreconcilable indifference."
UNIVERSITY OF MIAMI FOOTBALL PLAYER BRYAN PATA SHOT AND KILLED IN HIS APARTMENT COMPLEX.
In related news, fire is hot.
— Joke by Chris Schulz, grad student
KU EASILY WINS BASKETBALL OPENER AGAINST NORTHERN ARIZONA.
Did anyone else wonder why a team from Arizona is called the Lumberjacks? Are there even forests in Arizona? That's almost as stupid as a team in Missouri calling themselves the Tigers.
PAMELA ANDERSON REPORTEDLY HAS A MISCARRIAGE.
After reading in a parenting magazine that playing music for your unborn baby is good, Anderson held a boombox playing Kid Rock's greatest "hits" next to her belly for hours.
MEXICO CITY SIGNS LAW ALLOWING GAY CIVIL UNIONS.
Somewhere, while imagining gay married Mexicans illegally crossing the border to take American jobs, Bill O'Reilly's head just exploded.
WICHITA NATIVE ROBERT GATES IS NOMINATED TO REPLACE DONALD RUMSFELD AS SECRETARY OF DEFENSE.
Gates was given the job because of his ability to make the best out of a hellish no-win situation, a skill he acquired by growing up in Wichita.
THINK YOU HAYE A BETTER JOKE? E-MAIL ME AT HAWKTOPICS@KANSAN.COM
12- > JAYPLAY 11.16.2006
Chris Raine