I JUST STARTED DATING THIS GIRL. I LIKE HER, BUT I'M NOT OPTIMISTIC ABOUT OUR FUTURE. SHE SMOKES POT PRETTY MUCH EVER DAY, AND I DON'T EVER SMOKE ANYTHING. I'M JUST NOT SURE THAT OUR LIFESTYLES WILL MESH THAT WELL WHAT SHOULD I DO?
DAN, SOPHOMORE
Chris: It sounds like you're dwelling too much on the negatives of the stoner lifestyle,like the long,pointless conversations,the unprovoked bouts of laughter while watching horrible movies,the constant consumption of the potato chips and taquitos,the inevitable unemployment,the passing out in the middle of a make-out sessions,the chronic lack of basic hygiene,the sudden disappearance of your CDs and the annoying friends who are inexplicably always at your place asking
if they can "borrow" a tew bucks. Instead, you should focus on the positives, like... um... well... uh, a lack of short-term memory? Whatever you do, do not fall for the line about marijuana being a good contraceptive, a trick my mother constantly reminds me is the reason for my existence.
Niloofar: It sounds like you're a commitment-oriented man, so something temporary might not be your style. Unfortunately, that's all this will probably ever be. If you
don't smoke pot, and she's baked every day, there will be mutual frustration. You'll start to see her as lazy and worthless, and she'll start to see you as uptight. She'll even start lying about when she's blazed. Fights about the lying will ensue followed by the inevitable break-up. Spare yourself the heartbreak and dump this dope-smoker now before anyone becomes too emotionally invested. Luckily, the pot will probably prevent her from putting up much of a fight or making a scene.
THERE IS THIS REALLY PRETTY GIRL IN MY CLASS WHO I HAVE A CRUSH ON. I WANT TO ASK HER OUT, BUT THE PROBLEM IS, SHE'S MUSLIM AND WEARS A SCARF ON HER HEAD. IS IT OK FOR ME TO ASK HER? HOW SHOULD I APPROACH THIS?
JAKE SENIOR
JAKE, SENIOR
Chris: I'm not going near this one. Muslim, Christian, Scientologist, FSM, whatever faith your intended prey practices won't make a difference. All you're doing is setting up an exit strategy for yourself when she inevitably shoots you down. With this kind of thinking, you can tell yourself,"She was totally digging me, but her religion wouldn't allow it." Just like the last five girls who shot you down were either too superficial, too much into Sex and the City, too Greek, homeless or "really into cats." Not that I blame you for finding excuses for your dating failures; it beats lying awake in bed, staring at the ceiling, wondering how you're ever going to find a girl who
can look past your horrific flaws and love the "real" you... wait, am I still talking about you? I'm going to end this now, it's time for my mid-afternoon sobbing session, and that mirror's not going to yell at itself...
Niloofar: Of course you can ask her out! But that doesn't guarantee she'll say yes. Muslim women wear scarves on their heads for a myriad of reasons, including modesty and to command respect from others, especially men. As long as you approach her in a respectful manner, if she's truly living up to the ideals of the scarf on her head, she will respond to you in a kind and respectful manner too. But be prepared
for her to tell you that she can't date, or at least not in the traditional American sense. Or that she will only be with another Muslim. Or that, frankly, she's just not that into you. This is not a lost cause, however, as I'm familiar with more than a handful of couples where non-Muslims have courted and even married veiled women. If you want a truly unique relationship and perhaps a quite emotionally intimate and fulfilling experience, you should go for it. If you're just looking to unveil the mystery, or wondering what's under there, then you should probably find a nice non-Muslim girl who will engage in some fantasy role-playing with you.