THE FEMALE
by Rikki Kite
A peek under the hood of the elusive female orgasm
Betty Dodson recently taught an 80-year-old woman how to masturbate and have an orgasm. The woman's husband died five years ago, and even though they had a long, loving sex life together, she had never experienced an orgasm.
This elderly woman is in good company. The majority of KU women will not experience anorgasm before they graduate, but what they may not realize is that they hold the keys to climax in their own hands.
HOW CAN WE EXPECT MEN TO KNOW WHAT WE LIKE WHEN WE HAVE A DIFFERENT SET OF GENITALS THAN THEY DO? BETTY DODSON, SEX THERAPIST AND EDUCATOR
Dodson
wants, a woman needs to be able to get there on her own
"A handful of women come from their vaginas," Dodson says, "but the majority do not." Vibrators may help a woman achieve orgasm, but even with these handy tools, it may take
has been a sex educator for decades, creating erotic art in the '60s, advocating women's sexual liberation in the '70s, holding "Bodysex Groups" as a sex therapist in the '80s, and now she has a Ph.D. in Sexology and provides handson, private sessions with women to help them achieve orgasms. "How can we expect men to know what we like when we have a different set of genitals than they do?" Dodson says.
Forget about the myth that the right partner will come along and send you to the moon with his sexual prowess. Women must learn about their own sex organs, Dodson says, and what it takes to turn them on is different for each woman.
The key is that women orgasm from clitoral stimulation, she says. "We maintain the old sex myths and fake orgasms and let men think that we come from our vaginas, but we don't," she says. Climaxing can happen in different ways with a partner, like various sex positions, touching and stroking the clitoris or oral stimulation, but before she can even begin to show a partner what she
some hands-on experimenting,
she says. If you need to, take a vibrator to bed with you and your partner,
she says. If your partner is turned off by what gets you off,
Dodson suggests you tell your fellow,
"Look buddy,
this is what
turns me on. You want to look at Playboy and jerk off, and I want to use my vibrator on my clitoris."
Ali, St. Louis junior, says that she's never had an orgasm, a fact that bothers her partner. "Men have been taught that it's their job to give women orgasms," says Dennis Dailey, professor emeritus and marriage and sex therapist."Do men give women orgasms? Hell no. They are in the area when they happen. Guys, it's not your job to give women orgasms," Dailey says.
This isn't to say, that a partner plays no role in helping a woman have an orgasm. Women need to be more willing to say exactly what they need, and their partners should be willing to follow some directions, Dalley says.
Studies indicate that about 99 percent of male students will have had orgasms by the time they graduate, compared to about 30 percent of their female counterparts, Dalley says. But he'd prefer that every KU graduate walks down the Hill with the ability to give him- or herself an orgasm. Some of this disparity between our ability
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