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RAINE REVIEWS NEWS YOU CAN USE HAWK TOPICS
1 A PENNSYLVANIA JURY FINDS WAL-MART GUILTY OF FORCING WORKERS TO WORK DURING BREAKS AND AFTER SHIFTS HAD ENDED. WAL-MART MUST PAY A GROUP OF WORKERS $78 MILLION. Wal-Mart responded by releasing a statement describing the suing workers as "lazier, whinier and less productive than the Chinese children working in our factories."
COUNTRY SINGER SARA EVANS LEAVES DANCING WITH THE STARS, FILES FOR DIVORCE FROM HER HUSBAND.
You really have to feel for the kids in this situation. Not only do they have to
this situation. Not only do they have to suffer through a messy divorce, their mother sings country music AND participates in crappy reality TV shows, which in a rational world would constitute child abuse.
GOOGLE BUYS YOUTUBE FOR $1.6 BILLION.
Google
Making crappy, amateurish videos accessible to a large audience hasn't been this profitable since the first season of Grey's Anatomy came out on DVD.
GREY'S ANATOMY STARS ISAIAH WASHINGTON AND PATRICK "MCDREAMY" DEMPSEY GET INTO A FIGHT ON THE SET OF THE POPULAR SHOW.
They were trying to answer the question that TV viewers have asked for years: What's more painful, getting punched in the face repeatedly or watching an entire episode of Grey's Anatomy?
5 YANKEES PITCHER COREY LIDLE FATALLY CRASHES HIS PLANE INTO A HIGH-RISE MANHATTAN APARTMENT BUILDING. Yankee fans expressed great sorrow and despair when they found out that the Yankee player killed was not A-Rod.
KU BASKETBALL SEASON OFFICIALLY BEGINS WITH LATE NIGHT AT THE PHOG. Who else but our basketball team could hold Oklahoma State to fewer points than our football team did?
NORTH KOREA CLAIMS TO SUCCESSFULLY DETONATE A NUCLEAR EXPLOSIVE.
A NEW AIRCRAFT NAMED AFTER GEORGE H.W. BUSH IS CHRISTENED BY THE FORMER PRESIDENT'S FAMILY AND THE CURRENT PRESIDENT BUSH.
The current president was confused and disappointed when he found out that the Navy ship wasn't actually owned by his family and that he couldn't "take it out for a spin."
President Bush was again confused and disappointed when his alces informed him that Team America was just a movie and that Kim Jong-il is, in fact, still alive and extremely close to building a working nuclear weapon.
A 603-CARAT DIAMOND SELLS FOR MORE THAN $12 MILLION. The diamond was purchased by Kobe Bryant, who plans to give it to his wife after his next alleged infie
The diamond was purchased by Kobe Bryant, who plans to give it to his wife after his next alleged infidelity/rape.
10 NEW RESEARCH SAYS THAT MARJIUANA MAY HELP TO STAVE OFF THE ONSET OF ALZHEIMER'S.
So, like, what you're telling me is that using a drug that makes you forgetful now can help prevent you from becoming forgetful later? If you've already forgotten something, can you forget it again? Holy crap, I'm so stoned right now...
THINK YOU HAVE A BETTER JOKE? E-MAIL ME AT HAWKTOPICS@KANSAN.COM.
SUNDAY BRUNCH
Sundays Will Never Be The Same
$3 OFF with KUID (Originally $14.95)
ALL YOU CAN EAT
Complimentary Mimosa with Brunch
Omelette Bar
Carving Station
Made to Order Waffles
Eggs Benedict
Different Quiche each Week
Fresh Fish
Pasta Feature
Chef's Special Mac & Cheese
Assorted Desserts
THE ELDRIDGE
Reservations are optional but recommended. Make by phone or at www.eldridgehotel.com
Chris Raine
10.19.2006 JAYPLAY <06