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JORGENSEN: When somebody cheats on you, only one thing flashes across your mind: revenge. Here are few different routes you can take to gratify your fury. See khnsan.com for more opinions and Free for All comments
WEDNESDAY,OCTOBER 4,2006 WWW.KANSAN.COM
PAGE 7A
》 OUR VIEW
THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
Study abroad mandate unrealistic
If a Kansas Board of Regents proposal passes, future KU students could be required to spend a semester in China, Italy, Ghana or Mexico.
In a state that continues to increase tuition rates, the board now wants to force students to study abroad, with students likely paying the bill. The study abroad program at the University is first class, but no student should be forced to participate in it.
The goal of this proposal is to provide students with global awareness and help them gain a better understanding of a different environment. But the regents should look at the number of students who are already studying abroad before considering this proposal.
Nearly a quarter of KU students study abroad, which puts
it just outside the top 10 among public research universities in study abroad participation. A diverse foreign student population along with a high number of students studying abroad demonstrates a strong international representation at the University.
Also, where will the money come from? Financial aid is possible, but supplying enough for every student is far-fetched.
Every student should be encouraged to study abroad, but none should be pushed. If the Board of Regents wants to help students attain a global perspective without mandating every student to study abroad, the University has set the blueprint.
Louis Mora for the editorial board
GUEST COMMENTARY
At its October meeting, the Lawrence Traffic Safety Commission (TSC) voted unanimously to recommend that the Lawrence City Commission reject a request to change the ordinance banning skateboarding on the University campus.
Skateboard advocates have time to fight if they can get organized
No one came to speak in favor of the change, but representatives of the Provost's office and KU Public Safety argued for keeping the ban in place. It appeared to me, as a member of the TSC, that supporters of a change are uncertain about the role of the TSC, the relationship between city ordinances and University policies — and most important, haven't engaged the KU administration or the rest of the University community in discussion about the skateboard policy.
OPINION
First, the request was simply to "revise" the city ordinance. How? Examples of policies at other universities were given to the TSC, but they are not identical. The purpose of a revision would be to allow "safe" riding while continuing to ban activity that threatens others or damages property.
The issue is not necessarily dead. The recommendation of the TSC is just that: a recommendation. City commissioners are free to accept or ignore our advice when the proposal comes before them, probably at a meeting later this month. However, they are likely to have the same concerns we had.
between proponents of change and the non-skateboarding community. The KU facilities maintenance and Public Safety departments clearly see skateboards on campus only as a problem. To convince them to broaden their view, responsible riders will need to meet with them — and provide clear evidence that a change will work.
Which brings up a second point: Traffic regulations on the KU campus are determined by the University. They are enacted into the city code only so that violations can be prosecuted through the city's Municipal Court. Before the TSC or the city would approve a change in the skateboarding ordinance there needs to be agreement within KU on the wording of any new policy.
Finding the proper balance will require work and a lot of discussion
The issue isn't dead for another reason. At the TSC meeting, the KU representatives indicated their concern about unsafe and destructive skateboarding on West Campus, which is not covered under the current ordinance. It is likely that the University administration will soon propose a different revision: to expand the ban to cover all areas of the campus. Skateboard advocates could use this as an opportunity to broaden the discussion.
Robert Hagen
Robert Hagen Research Associate, Kansas Biological Survey Courtesy faculty member, Department of Ecology & Evolutionary Biology
FREE FOR ALL
Call 864-0500
Free for All callers have 20 seconds to speak about any topic they wish. Kansan editors reserve the right tomit comments. Slanderous and obscene statements will not be printed. Phone numbers of all incoming calls are recorded.
My parents just yelled at me because I just told them how I broke my thumb at the bar the other night.
Did anybody notice the new flag on top of Fraser Hall has the new KU logo patched on it? It
looks like crap.
TALK TO US
Jamason Kealing, editor 864-4854 or Jaalinengkansan.com
Brock E. Schroeter, managing editor 864-4854 or sichinienkansan.com
Gabriella Souze, managing editor 864-4854 or giouza.kansan.com
》
Frank Tankard opinion editor
864-4024 ur ftankard@kansan.com
I will slap whoever keeps calling to Spangles commercials.
KU can't even beat Nebraska. Better luck next year.
If Hash is for free love and they don't love the kid bashing them, that doesn't make them very good at free love, does it?
driveway
Hey Yello Sub, do you think you could actually get your trash in your dumpster instead of our
I can't believe Dennis Moore voted for the torture bill. I hope he never gets reeled again.
Dave Ruigh. associate opinion editor
864-4924 or druigh@kansan.com
Kyle Hoedl, business manager
864-4014 or khoedl@kansan.com
Lindsey Shirach, sales manager
864-4462 or Ishriack@ikansan.com
Macolm Gibson, general manager, news adviser 864-7667 or macolm@ikarsan.com
Jennifer Weaver, sales and marketing adviser
864-7666 or jweaver@kansan.com
ANOTHER STOMP IN THE HEAD:
》 LETTERTO THE EDITOR
Be responsible when you drink
I am writing this in response to a serious problem we have at the University of Kansas: drunken driving.
One person every 31 minutes died in a drunk driving collision in 2004, according to alcoholalert. com. I may just be naive, but I don't understand why lives must be taken in a situation that could be easily avoided.
There are many ways to avoid driving drunk. First, a call can always be made to SafeRide. Its number is 864-7233 and this service is completely free of charge. If SafeRide doesn't appeal to you, maybe a taxi service would be better. Midwest Transportation has cheap rates. Its phone number is 865-2872.
If neither of those options interests you, simply take turns with your friends. I would happily be the sober driver one night and have the comfort of knowing that the people that matter most, my friends, are safe.
When a drunk driving incident occurs, it affects many more people than just those in the realm of the accident. Family, friends, insurance agencies, police support, teachers and a community can all be affected. Accidents do not have to be fatal to truly hurt.
So I am asking those who are reading this to step up and take responsibility. Enjoy the party. Live up your time here at the University of Kansas. But before you take that last sip of whatever beverage of choice you are enjoying on a Saturday night, put your keys away and use your brain instead.
This year I am a senior at the University of Kansas. I can not even count the nights of partying I have been able to enjoy these past years — the good times have been immeasurable. Yet I also can't count
the number of times I've opened the Kansan on a Monday morning to see a student killed by a reckless drunk driver. Even today, as I write this on a "Tuesday morning, in the "On the Record" section of the paper, out of four reports, two of them were alcohol related, one dealing with an impaired driver.
Becca Goldberg Plano, Texas, senior
LETTER TO THE EDITOR
Blame bookstores for over-the-top textbook prices
The writer states, "In what other arena can a business sell a product at an enormous markup, buy back the product at a minimal cost, and then sell the product back to the same target consumer at a huge profit? The apparent collusion between the oligopolist publishers..." I read this as placing the blame entirely on the publishers.
The "Our View" on Tuesday contained one important misconception that should be clarified.
Bookstores, not publishers,
markup the cost of the book
(33.3%), buy it back, and then resell
it. Again, it is the bookstore, not the
publisher. Thus, for the book I have
written, the bookstore buys it from
the publisher for $64 and sells it to
the student for $80. Of that $64 sale
to the bookstore, the three authors,
who spent two years of their lives in
working on the edition, split $10.24
on the sale of each new book. The
bookstore, which contributed nothing
to the production of the book,
received $16 per book.
Additional information: For this particular book, the bookstore will buy it back at $40 and then resell it at $60 for a cool $20 profit. That's a larger profit than they get for new books! No wonder they push used books on students!
What does the author receive on the sale of a used book? $0.00. What does the publisher receive? $0.00. The profit is made by the bookstore; the author and publisher receive nothing for their years worth of effort and the financial investment.
All that said, though, it is reasonable for the bookstore to earn something; they do have salaries, utilities, rent, etc. to pay. I just question them making more than the authors. That's my clearly biased and self-serving view.
Stephen Shawl
Stephen Shawl Professor of physics and astronomy
COMMENTARY
Co-author of "Discovering Astronomy"
How to make 'shampoop' and other dishes of revenge
Revenge is a dish best served piping hot, and nothing causes the heat to rise like getting cheated on. Those who have endured a cheating partner know the sadness — and the fury — that comes with it.
What do you do when you get cheated on? Do you break up with the person? Do you let it blow over? Do you pour sugar into the cheater's gas tank?
If your partner cheats on you, if nothing else, break up with the person. It is inexcusable and nearly unforgivable. If you don't break up with a cheater, then you deserve the anguish you'll get when it happens again.
If you cheat on me, not only am I breaking up with you, but I'm pooing in your shampoo.
The "shampooo" revenge tactic is one of many you can use to get back at the person who just tore your heart out. Revenge isn't for everybody, but it's for a lot of people. Here are some revenge tactics for those not willing to let a cheater get off easy.
That's not bird poop: The only thing more embarrassing than cleaning poop out of your hair is cleaning poop off your windshield.
BY ERIC JORGENSEN
KANSAN COLUMNIST
OPINIONONKANSAN.COM
During the night while the cheater sleeps, take a squat over their windshield and drag it across. If you have the talent and hip mobility to write while squatting, might I recommend writing, "This is what your breath smells like."
Fly farm: I wish I could take credit for this next one. An old friend told me she did this once, and it is genius and lasting.
If you really want to stick it to someone that stuck it to someone else, pour milk on the floorboards of that person's car on a hot summer day. Science will take care of the rest. After a couple days of settling, maggots and a bad cottage cheese smell will be riding shotgun for months.
The only thing I might change in this recipe is to use some form of meat. I'm thinking little smokies.
Logically, by using little smok lies,rather than attracting flies,
you would be attracting bears, or possibly Bigfoot. It is common that knowledge that Bigfoot is crazy for little smokies.
There are few things more terrifying for a cheater, or anyone, than finding Bigfoot tearing through your car, sniffing out little smokies.
The only thing worse might be finding Rosie O'Donnell rummaging through your car. It is common knowledge that Rosie O'Donnell also is crazy for little smokies.
Death by Facebook: With the recent globalization of facebook.com, there is ample room for spreading word about a cheater. With many groups reaching the hundreds of thousands in members, each and every group has that potential.
The group, "My girlfriend will have a threesome with me if this group reaches 100,000" hit that very goal in a matter of days.
Imagine how much popularity the group, "I will have closure over my boyfriend cheating on me when this groups reaches infinity," will have.
As a side note, the group, "Make this group reach 100,000/Chuck Norris/'We're going streaking!'/My girlfriend cheated on me/l watch
Cheating is no joke, people, and you shouldn't let it slide. Break up with the cheater, and if you feel it necessary, let the person feel your wrath through a little revenge. At least give the cheater the "shampoo."
SUBMISSIONS
Jorgensen is a Baldwin City senior in journalism.
Granted, this one is a little tougher to pull off. You might be able to use Photoshop to superimpose the cheater's body on a horse's, and then hack on to the person's Facebook account and make it the profile picture. That's almost as bad as actually being a centaur.
LETTER GUIDELINES
The Kansan welcomes letters to the editor and guest columns submitted by students, faculty and alumni. The Kansen reserves the right to edit, cut to length, or reject all submissions.
If your girlfriend or boyfriend cheats on you, you could have the cheater's body surgically attached to a horse's. Because, let's face it, no one wants to date a centaur.
For any questions, call Frank Tankard or Roy Bulgh at 864-8410 or e-mail opnion@kanan.com.
The Nip/Tuck: One of my worst fears is getting drugged, waking up in a bathtub full of ice, and then not having both my kidneys. My fear inspired this next tactic, which I have not been able to pull off.
General questions should be directed to the editor at editor@tansan.com.
Maximum Length: 200 word limit
Include: Author's name and telephone number;
class, hometown (student); position (faculty member/staff); phone number (will not be published)
SUBMIT LETTERS TO
111 Staussner-Fleet Hall
1435 Jayhawk Blvd.
Lawrence, KS 66045
(785) 864-8410, opition@kamam.com
The View," should pick up steam instantly, because there is something in there for everybody.
Maximum Length: 500 word limit
GUEST COLUMN GUIDELINES
Maximum Length: 500 word limit
Include: Author's name; class, hometown (student); position (faculty member/staff); phone number (will not be published)
Also: The Kraasan will not print guest columns that attack a reporter or another columnist.
EDITORIAL BOARD
Jonathan Kealing, Erick R. Schmidt, Gabriella Souza, Frank Tankard, Dave Ruig, Steve Lynn, McKay Stangler and Loud Mora