I'VE BEEN DATING A GIRL FOR ABOUT THREE MONTHS NOW, AND I REALLY LIKE HER. I ALSO HAVE A COLLECTION OF PORN THAT I'VE BEEN HIDING FROM HER. I THINK I'M READY TO TELL HER ABOUT MY PORN, BUT I'M NOT SURE IF THIS IS A GOOD IDEA. WHAT SHOULD I DO?
Chris: Tyler, you're not thinking of the future. Let's say you show it to her and she's horrified; she breaks up with you for being a pervert. Or, even worse, let's say she likes it. It won't take her long to realize that your "two minutes of heaven" could be much, much longer and fulfilling. If she decides to stay with you, then she's going to throw out the porn. Then when she finally comes to her senses and breaks up with your perverted ass, what are you left with? No porn, that's what. Remember, love and relationships are fleeting; porn is forever. Porn is never too tired, never has a headache, never finds you unattractive because you've put on some weight, lost your job and have
to move back in with your mother. (Screw you, Valerie!)
Porn never says "NoL," which is exactly what you should tell yourself if you're ever tempted to reveal your secret stash again.
— TYLER, SOPHOMORE
Niloofar: Is your girlfriend a Catholic priest? It'd make for a fantastic episode of Jerry Springer, but I'm going to assume you answered no, which leads me to ask... why the confession? The majority of girls realize that almost every guy has some sort of secret stash, if not in the form of a literal box o' porn, then in the form of a password-protected file on his PC. Just because it's there, doesn't mean it needs to be talked about. Now, if you think you might have an
addiction, then you have a real problem. An addiction means you're skipping class to watch Forrest Hump. Would you rather stay at home with Saving Ryan's Privates, than go out and socialize? Do you need to watch Rambone in order to bone? If you answered yes to either of these questions, then you need help of a caliber that I cannot provide in 200 words or less. If you answered no, then you're probably OK. She may even agree to an adult Blockbuster night. But if I assumed wrong, and she is in fact a Catholic priest, then start saying your Hail Marys, for you have sinned.
If you think you may be addicted to porn, visit no-porn. com or porn-free.org.
I HAVE BEEN DATING THIS GIRL FOR A LITTLE MORE THAN THREE YEARS NOW. SHE AND MY BEST FRIEND/ROOMMATE DON'T GET ALONG AT ALL. IN FACT, THEY ARGUE QUITE A BIT. HOW CAN I RESOLVE THIS WITHOUT LOSING EITHER ONE OF THEM?
Chris: You think of this as a problem? If this roommate is really your best friend, then you shouldn't worry about losing him. And as long as your girlfriend is arguing with him and not you, I don't see a problem. This guy sounds like the ultimate wingman. He fights with your girlfriend, you get the make-up sex. You should try to get him to take on the other negative aspects of the relationship as well. Get him to take her shopping, make him watch Grey's Anatomy or whatever other filth your lady friend finds entertaining. When she wants to talk about her day, find your roommate. Hell, introduce him to her
parents. Without this guy, I seriously doubt you two would have lasted three months, much less three freaking years. The fact that you can't see what an unbelievable blessing this arrangement is makes me think that you don't deserve either of these people in your life. Get it together, man.
Niloofar: Has either one given you an ultimatum? A "get rid of her or I'm moving out?" or an "are you picking your best friend over me"? If not, then what's the problem? As long as they're not bitching to you about each other then let it go. If they are, that's when you say something like, "Look,
— FRED, JUNIOR
Bob is my best friend, and I'd really appreciate it if you wouldn't talk like that about him. I realize you two don't get along, but he's a good guy, and I don't want to hear that." Their job is to be respectful of your choices, including who you choose to associate with. You don't need anyone's approval. Your job is to respect that they don't have to like each other.In fact, you should keep them apart when possible. This is made more complex by the fact that your best friend is also your roommate, but perhaps you and your girlfriend could try to hang out at her place more often. If that's not an option, the Super 8 Motel is always open.
04> JAYPLAY 09.21.2006