THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 14, 2006
SEX ON THE HILL
11C
Promiscuous girl
Upon entering college, we all experience changes. Some of us become more serious about our future, some of us become more serious about partying and some of us become more serious about ourselves. Guys start pursuing girls in a way they never had before, often aided by alcohol or social pressures. Girls find new power in this change in guys — they learn how good it feels to have a guy buy them a shot at the bar, to ask them to dance, or to ask them for their phone numbers.
Getting hit on is empowering; a simple glance or checkout can do marvels for a girl's self-esteem. It'd be dishonest of
When sexual power turns into promiscuity
me if I didn't admit that there have been nights when I've gone to a bar just to get checked-out and feel good about myself. And whether the girl follows through with the guy — or takes the ultra-empowering way out and turns him down — sex has given women an exhilarating power over men that, while refreshing, can unfortunately be more than we can handle.
In a world where men dominate everything: scholastics (why is it always a guy who's got the highest grade in my chemistry class?), jobs (men still out-earn women $0.75 to the dollar), and everywhere else, it's nice to know that we have, at least for that
BY STEFANI FONTANA
KANSAN CORRESPONDENT
EDITOR@KANSAN.COM
But what happens when this feel-good power becomes our only way to feel good about ourselves? The rush is easy to get addicted to, and before we know it, the power of lust is controlling us more than we are controlling it.
moment, or that night, some power that is our own.
After living with girls and
hearing stories of using and abusing this power, I began to wonder how many times have we gone a little too far on a power binge? A few nights a weekend eventually add up. How many guys does a girl have to conquer to gain her friends' respect? How many more guys does she have to conquer to lose it? At what point does sexual power turn into sexual promiscuity?
After so many weekends of going out with her, though, I began to find that the guys who were attracted to her before, had begun to lose respect for her. The way that she seemed to use them for her own self-esteem, and her disingenuous treatment of them afterward, had begun to affect people's view of her.
I used to be friends with a girl who was perfect for this question. We would crash fraternities together, or go to bars. She was the type of girl that most guys liked. She would let guys buy her drinks, then disappear with them for a little, and find
me later in the night and wed go home together. She loved the attention, and thrived on it.
Sadly, by the end of he semester, it had begun to affect my view of her too.
So when does power turn into promiscuity? This is a hard question to ask ourselves, and unfortunately, the only person who can answer it is you. As long as
girls stop to think to themselves, to ask if they're flirting with this guy because it feels good, or because they're genuinely interested in him; as long as we are not so addicted to the power rush that it's our only way of feeling good about ourselves; as long as it is us, not the power of lust, that is ruling our lives.
Wearing tight clothes because you know it'll get you a free drink can be empowering, but keep in mind ladies, there are better ways of empowering women.
Stefani Fontana is a Leawood junior in genetics.
Edited by Elyse Weidner
We'd like to straighten a few things out
Debunking three popular myths about sex and sexual relationships
A long, long time ago, in a cave far, far away, two prehistoric human beings had sex for the first time. The next morning, confused and bewildered by their night, they went their separate ways and started telling bogus stories about how everything worked. Today, these myths are invented and perpetuated at lunch tables, in bedrooms and classrooms throughout the world. The time has come to debunk some of these myths.
BY KARSON THOMPSON
MYTH: DOUBLE BAG IT If one condom is good, two must be better
Truth: This popular myth is also one of the most dangerous. The theory states that with partners you are unsure of or if you are worried about a condom breaking, use two condoms simultaneously. No condom company will recommend this method, as it actually increases the likelihood that both condoms will tear as a result of the added friction.
Navy SEALs use "double-bagged" condoms to waterproof firing mechanisms for underwater detonations, but they also seal them with neoprene cement — this method is also not recommended for home use. One condom is always better than two.
MYTH: SIZE DOESN'T MATTER It is not the size of the boat, it's the motion of the ocean
Truth: Men are constantly bombarded by this misleading sexual statement. According to the myth, women have no feeling in the deepest two-thirds of their vaginas, so a longer penis doesn't translate to increased feeling, in reality, women tell their partners they are "huge" or "big enough" for the same reason their partners say they are in "love."
Clinical psychologist and sexual therapist Joy Davidson is battling this myth of downsizing."The reason size matters is very simply that women do have nerve endings deep inside the vagina"Davidson said. But don't worry,men. While size is important and beneficial,it is not the only criteria you are being judged by in the sack.
Skill is always more likely to convince women to keep taking you back for more. Because we males need sports analogies to make sense of the world, just think of it this way: Reggle Bush could be the fastest running back in the NFL, but it wouldn't matter one bit if he couldn't carry a football.
MYTH: THE BIG SWALLOW To spit or to swallow, that is the question
Truth: There are many myths surrounding the post-orgasm swallow. Some claim that frequent indulgence in the "high-calorie" snack will tip the scales; others have clam this natural protein shake will make it easier for women to get pregnant. "LoveLine" host and sex guru Drew Pinsky often assures his listeners that the average ejaculation, though it does contain protein, sugar, vitamin C and other substances, contains nothing in large enough amounts to significantly change your body's composition.
According to Pinsky, "Assuming your partners have been tested for HIV and other STDs, there is no real harm in swallowing semen." And under no circumstances will ingesting ejaculate ever make you more likely to conceive.
New research argues that swallowing may actually be beneficial as well. Research out of Australia has delivered preliminary results that show a certain compound contained in male semen, TGFbeta, when ingested orally can help limit the occurrence of cancer in the cervix or ovaries, according to the Sydney Morning Herald. However there's another source of TGFbeta: cow's milk.