THE UNIVERSITY DARLY KANSAN FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 1, 2006
CLASSIFIEDS
5B
MTV Video Music Awards labled dull; lack show-stopping flair
BY NEKESA MUMBI MOODY THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
NEW YORK — Where are Eminem and Triumph the Insult Comic Dog when you need them?
Despite Shakira's ever-gyrating hips, Justin Timberlake's "SexyBack" and the obscured image of a naked midgett, Thursday's MTV Video Music Awards had about as much spontaneity as an episode of "Cribs."
"You didn't bring the thunder. You didn't bring anything," host Jack Black, looking at himself in his dressing room mirror, said during one skit, unintentionally summing up the evening.
Pink's parody of bubble-headed pop tarts, "Stupid Girls," won for best pop video; Beyonce took home a trophy for her booty-shaking
"Check On It"; British crooner James Blunt won best male video for his "Beautiful"; and Fall Out Boy won the viewer's choice award for their clip "Dance, Dance."
But nobody but a video choreographer's mother watches this show for the awards. Fans watch for the eye-popping moments: FCC-flaunting skits, nearly naked starlets, foul-mouthed rockers and rappers and those embarassingly bad dance numbers.
They do NOT watch for lectures from former Vice President Al Gore on global warming. When does the phrase "here's a photo of a glacier melting" ever fit into an awards show?
Somewhere along the way, the MTV Awards seemed to have morphed into the Grammys. Christina Aguilera, who previously shocked our senses as the dirty Xtina, looked downright classy as she performed a low-key ballad. And there were no malfunctions whatsoever during Timberlake's perfunctory show kickoff.
"This show has been lame farts for the past 20 years," Black said before he took the stage Thursday night for his opening sketch. "And I'm going to light the match!"
Instead, Black continued a trend. He had a promising bit that poked fun at the show's increasingly staid reputation. Painting himself as the man to inject life back into the VMAs, he took to the stage in a moonman outfit — which caught fire.
But Black's shtick quickly got old. Even Lil' Kim, who once appeared at the VMAs wearing a pasty on one breast, failed to get the party started. Recently released from prison after serving time for perjury, she stripped off an orange jail suit to reveal ... something that resembled a funky business suit. Hillary Clinton has worn more revealing outfits.
Though the MTV Awards have never laced star power — last year, Diddy acted as host and stars ranging from Eva Longoria to Jessica Simpson and then-hubby Nick Lachie squeezed themselves into the spotlight — that trademark water-cooler MTV moment hasn't materialized recently (like Einemem punching out a puppet).
This year, the disturbing trend of normalcy continued. Shakira and Wylecje lean performed a colorful but rote performance of her smash "Hips Don't Lie"; Ludacris and Pharrell posed their way through "Showstopper." Not even Britney
Spears and. Kevin Federline could strike a spark.
There was just one proftanity-laced acceptance speech, courtesy of the rock group AFI, whose frontman accepted the award for best group video by saying: "We just won a moonman — I am getting so trashed tonight!"
The night's hottest new couple, new buddies 50 Cent and LL Cool J, introduced one of the awards. But 50, perhaps with no more foes to beef with, was almost Zen-like onstage and offering no fun disses to excite the crowd.
The lack of outrageousness almost made you long back to the days when Michael Jackson was making out with Lisa Marie Presley — that was creepy, but at least it kept us talking.
Beyonce got some points for at
least trying to do something that resembled a show-stopper. Singing her call-to-arms, the anti-heating single "Ring the Alarm," she appeared on stage wearing a sexy trench coat and a searing gaze.
But while her voice was in perfect form, the performance was disjointed, and the out-of-place dance number in the middle seemed to rip off the choreography from Janet Jackson's "Rhythm Nation" almost 20 years earlier.
Still, she managed to keep things interesting — which could hardly be said for the rest of the evening. At one point, the crew from the MTV grossout show "jackass" gave one of its members an electric shock, jolting his system.
KANSANCLASSIFIEDS
If only they could have delivered a similar dose to the whole telecast.
JOBS LOST & FOUND
PHONE 785.864.4358
FAX 785.864.5261
CLASSIFIEDS@KANSAN.COM
SERVICES
$3500-$5000 PAID EGG DONORS
+Expenses. Nsmoking. Ages 19-29.
SAT=1100/ACT>=24/GPA>3
reply to: info@eggdonor.cor
TRAFFIC-DUIL-MIP'S PERSONAL INJURY HUMAN RESOURCES divorce, criminal & civil matters The law offices of DOLLOL G. STROLE Donald G. Strole Sally K. Gelsey 165 Strole 6116 Free Initial Consultation
TRAVEL
JOBS
Busy import auto repair shop needs parttime mechanics helper/parts runner. DL and transportation a must. Apply in person at Red Ink Racing, Ltd. 728 N. 2nd. M-F 10am-5pm.
JOBS
A fun place to work! Stepping Stones is now hiring a teacher in the afterschool room. Hours: 2:30-6 Mon Tues Thurs Fri and 1-6 on Wed. Great for education majors. Apply in person at 1100 Kawarusa
BARTENDING, UP TO $300/DAY. NO
EXPERIENCE NECESSARY. TRAINING
PROVIDED. 800-965-6252 EXT 108
Christian daycare needs reliable, dependable morning helpers 7:30am-12:00pm.
Please contact 785-842-2088
Customer Service Rep. needed for Insurance Office. Part time. Must be a available Tuesdays and Thursdays. 10-20 whr/week. $7-$8/rh. E-mail resume to rking@amfam.com.
In-home babyssister need to help mother during the day with 2 children, ages 2 yrs and 8 mos. Experience only, MWF 7 am-1 pm. Contact: d.cailier.cisher@gmail.com
Looking for someone wreliable transportation to pick up elementary child and watch for aprox. 2hrs. 2 days on Tue/Thur Lawrence School District. Please call 816-786-9054.
Needed: KU student well-versed in HTML and web design to help build and maintain a website for a local engineering firm. Call Eric at 913-845-3553.
Needed: Part Time Painter. Must be experienced. Will work around school schedules. 20-30 hrs $w.hr. B38-3063.
Part-time tumble bus driver needed at Lawrence Gymnastics: 10/hr to start. Call for details: 865-0856.
Part time day and evening help. Apply in person only at Border Bandido, 1528 W.
23rd St.
Now hiring for positions in our nursery and preschool rooms. Weekly Thursday mornings from 8:45 am - 12 pm. Pay is $6.50 - $7.00 per hour. Call Liiz at 785-843-2005 ext. 201 to schedule an interview.
JOBS
Part time boys' coach needed for recreational gymnastics at Lawrence Gymnastics. Call 865-0856.
Pre-school substitute teachers needed.
Must have flexible schedule. Hours vary.
Sunshine Acres Montessori School. Apply in person. 842-2239
Teacher aids needed in our early child-
hood program M-F. Varied hours. Apply at
Children's Learning Center.
205 N. Michigan, 785-841-2185, EOE.
Tutors Wanted
The Academic Achievement and Access Center is hiring tutors for the Fall semester (visit the Tutoring Services website for a list of courses where tutors are needed). Tutors must have excellent communication skills and have received a B or better in the courses that they wish to tutor (or in higher-level courses in the same discipline). If you meet these qualifications, go to tutoring.uct.edu or stop by 22 Strong Hall for more information about the application process. Two references are required. Call 864-4064 with questions. OA/AA.
JOBS
U. B. SK is looking for Sales Reps to post College Skice Week posters. Earn free trips and cash. Call 1-800-SKI-WILD.
Wanted. Office Administrative Assistant.
Seeking bright, positive, professional, and organized individual with excellent initiative and good phone skills to help us run our summer camp business year-round.
Experience with Word, Quickbooks, desktop publishing, and database management a plus, 30-40 hrs week in winter office in Lawrence & then full-time work at our summer camp in Montana in Pacific in August. ( must commit to reloading for 11 weeks in summer). Starts at $10/rh with potential for free childcare in winter and full camp scholarships. Send resumes to Rachel at bcwu@aol.com
Wanted: Full-time Nanny for Fun & Loving Family. We are seeking childcare for our 3-year old son. Exact daily hours are flexible. Experience with toddlers preferred. Looking for a caring, creative, energized, clean, and playful individual. $8hr to start. Send inquiries to Rachel at cbwc@aol.com.
Contact: Ken at Hands to Help (832-2515
Wanted: Students with an interest in helping families with disabled individuals in the home and community setting. After-school, evening, and weekend hours. Salary:
$8.00/hr
We pay up to $75 per survey. www.GetPaidToThink.com
Work at the Lake!
Banquet Servers
Dining Room Servers
Day and Evening Shifts Available
Minutes from both I-435 and I-70
Apply in Person
Lake Quivia Country Club
913-631-4821
ther, the Kansas will not knowingly accept advertising that is im violation of University of Kansas regulation or law. All real estate advertising in this newspaper is subject to the Federal Pair Housing Act
ZIG & MAC'S
New Bar and Grill. Now hiring wait staff, bartenders and cooks. Apply in person: 1540 Wakaura Dr. Suite L.
STUFF
MOVING SALE! Matching Broyhill couch/loveseat, tons of glassware and antique furniture, set; entertainment center/coffee table/en end tables. LOTS MORE. Everything negotibled. Cash talks. 312-725-
Kansan Classifieds
864-4358
classifieds@kansan.com
classifieds@kansan.com
Classified Jobs Policy: The Kansan will not knowingly accept any advertisement for housing or employment that discriminates against any person or group of persons based on race, sex, age, color, creed, religion, sexual orientation, nationality or disability. Pur-
FOR RENT
1992 Geo Metro, stick-sick, new brakes,
A/C, auto, defrost, lots of recent repairs,
great gas mileage, $1500 OBO 312-7255
2 BR, next to campus, 1130 W. 11th St.
Jayhawk Apartments, water and trash paid,
$600/mo., pet beds, 755-565-0713
3 BR, 2 bath, w/d. dishwasher, smaller pets are ok. Near campus. $725/month Call 785-832-2258
Excellent locations, 1341 Ohio/1104 Tennessee, 2BR in 4-plex, CA, DW, W/D hookups, $490, no pets, Call 842-4242
Spacious 4 BR, 2 BA duplex
617 Main, covered, offstreet parking
$1100 550-6414
Studio Apartment, detached
1029 Miss. Call immediately
$485/mo. Call Barb 785-691-5794
Apartments &
Townhomes
1, 2, 3 Bedrooms Large Rooms and Closets Great Plovplans
up to $700 in FREE
We now offer short-term leases Laurencebarments.com
Apple Lane Apartments 1 BR starting at only $450/month
ROOMMATE/SUBLEASE
Very close to campus, newly restored vintage home, 2 & 3 BR, each has 2 BA, W/D, over 1400 sq. ft./apartment, 1106 HD-550-6414
Female roommate needed. Beautiful spacious 2BR, 2BA, W/D, w nonsmoking KU student, water/rain贼印. Pinnacle Woods Apts. $360/mo. plus utils.
Call Brittney 913-830-0711.
Hawk's Poite 3. Need 1 Roommate.
4 BR Apt. $300/mo. ASAP. Call 913-226-0764.
1 roommate needed immediately for 3 BR,
2 BA, 2 car garage house. $350/mo + 3
utilities, 5 min, drive from campus. W/D
included. Call Jason at i93-669-4881
2bd/1ba for rent in a 3br/2ba house. 4blks from campus. Utls. included $450/mo. 1 or semesters 81,507,1437
Rooms for rent $350/mo. 3 BR/ 3 BA house. 2 car garage, close to campus. 785-331-9290.
LOST & FOUND
Found an lpd at campus bus stop on 8/15.
Call to identity: 864-2857.
Find it, sell it,
buy it in the
Kansan Classifieds
or just read them for the fun of it
of 1968 which makes it illegal to advertise "any preference, limitation or discrimination based on race, color, religion, sex, handicap, familial status or national origin, or an intention, to make any such preference, limitation or discrimination."
Our readers are hereby informed that all jobs and housing advertised in this newspaper are available on an equal opportunity basis.
KANSANCLASSIFIEDS In a Class of its Own.