HOOK-UP
CONTACT
by Megan Heffley
Learning the right and wrong way to bring someone home
ETIQUETTE
Dating in college is like a box of chocolates. Some of them are misleading — full of stringy coconut when the outside suggests it's a caramel. Some look like they areicky lemon cream but surprise you with gooey chocolate truffle. Men and women play this game of truth seeking and make mistakes along the way. Unfortunately it's often not you who
--- it's your roommate.
You should learn how to live in peace with the people that live with you. So, before you bring home that cute jock or giggly gal, have a chat with the people who share your roof.
Laying down the ground rules
Sit down with your roommates and write out a list of things that should and should not happen at your place. Since some people may not be veteran shackers, a few hypothetical situations that you've seen in the
movies should probably make the list too. Include things like who may use, touch, eat or mess with your personal belongings. Your roommate should also know your feelings about frequent "guests" in your house, apartment or dorm room. Set a limit of maybe twice a week, says Adam Lovelace, Olathe senior. "Two years ago, my old roommate and this girl would stay up late talking, and it kept me awake," he says. Dorms are especially difficult places to bring late night guests. The smaller the space, the more crowded it can become.
Well, it happens
In the (likely) event that one of your "guests" breaks one of your roommate commandments, step up to the plate and fix it. If the girl you brought home ate your roommate's entire box of Oreos, replace it, man. If you notice that someone used your bathroom and made a hair-raising mess, calmly talk to your roommate.
"Once my roommate's friend threw up on my carpet, and I was so pissed, I
HOW TO BRING UP
THE HOOK-UP
made the guy clean it up while he was still drunk," says John Tyrrell, Olathe sophomore.
In any case, don't let frustration build. Talk it out. Then get over it and realize that everyone makes mistakes. Molly Glanz, Naperville, Ill., senior, had a talk with her roommate after a guest made a mess in their bathroom.
Icebreakers to begin that awkward conversation
So, about that guy who used my toothbrush this morning...can we talk about that?
Are you always going to bring home people who snore that loudly?
I'm allergic to your friend (insert name here). Can we limit those visits?
I promise to not walk around naked if you keep your late night "friends" quiet.
"If you're gonna have people over, respect our house and our things," she says.
Remember the humor in it all
Some of the funniest stories that people tell each other in college involve nights when their friends hooked up with someone. Many stories are embarrassing and many are ones that you can tease your roommate about for years.
something to Glanz.
"I've taken someone home, but it's only been a friend and we just get stupid and make bad decisions. It's always laugh about later," says
Sometimes roommates simply forget that they share a space with others and do things that should be done in the privacy of, well, a locked and soundproof bedroom.
"We came home one night and they (her roommate and guest) were having fun on the couch, and they had to run naked into the bedroom," says Denisha Jones, Kansas City, Mo., senior. "So we had to have a discussion about that."
Living with roommates is a learning experience."Living with a roommate is a great step toward a successful marriage because it teaches you how to live with another person.It's a mental shift to start thinking about someone else before you act," says Claire Colvin, editor of Women Today Magazine in her article "Surviving Your Roommate (And Surviving Yourself in the Process)."
Just remember to keep an open mind and know that this is another one of the many lessons you will learn in college.
PHOTO ILLUSTRATION/KIMBERLY WESTPHALL
08. 31.2006 JAYPLAN < 17