notice
JAYPLAY = 10.04.07
We've Got Lawrence Covered.
Just across the bridge · 842-0377 · 401 N. 2nd
World Famous Pizza Burgers & Beer
You're not around for 54 years unless you have something amazing to offer.
843-0704 jbstouts.com
721 Wakarusa
Taco Bar: Every Monday $6.95 4pm Wing Night: Every Wednesday 20c wings Omelet Bar: Every Sunday$ 6.95
312-9057 • mariscosonline.com 6th & Wakarusa
Serving Breakfast: 7 days a week·7-11am
Wednesdays: $2.50 margaritas Thursdays:$ 2.50 martinis & cosmos
RAINE REVIEWS NEWS YOU CAN USE HAWK TOPICS
1 PRESIDENT BUSH'S DAUGHER JENNA BEGINS A NATIONAL PUBLICITY TOUR FOR HER NON-FICTION BOOK ANA'S STORY: A JOURNEY OF HOPE.
While President Bush was proud of his daughter, he was reportedly disappointed that the book didn't have more pictures.
2 FIVE OF THE TOP 10 COLLEGE FOOTBALL TEAMS LOSE ON "UPSET SATURDAY," INCLUDING NO.7 TEXAS.THE WILDCATS
THROTTLED THE LONGHORNS 41-21. Of course, violating cattle is nothing new to Wildcat fans.
4 GENERAL PETER PACE, CHAIRMAN OF THE JOINT CHIEFS OF STAFF, SAYS DURING A SENATE HEARING THAT HE BELIEVES HOMO-SEXUAL ACTIVITY IS IMMORAL AND HAS NO
PLACE IN THE MILITARY.
The comments were part of General Pace's plan to make our military as similar to Iran as possible so we can win their "hearts and minds" after we bomb, invade and occupy them.
6 MORMON CULT LEADER WARREN JEFFS IS CONVICTED ON CHARGES OF BEING AN ACCOMPLICE TO RAPE AFTER FORCING A 14-YEAR-OLD GIRL TO MARRY HER 19-YEAR-OLD COUSIN.
If marrying your 14-year-old cousin is illegal, then most K-State fans are criminals.
3 NEARLY 70 MEMBERS OF A KU SORORITY FALL ILL ON DAD'S DAY AFTER A CASE OF POSSIBLE FOOD POISONING.
5 A MISTRIAL IS DECLARED IN THE TRIAL OF MUSIC PRODUCER PHIL SPECTOR ON
Since when is half of a sorority puking their brains out on a Saturday night newsworthy?
CHARGES OF
MURDERING
ACTRESS LANA
CLARKSON MORE
THAN FOUR
YEARS AGO.
Because really, who could believe that a man with that face
could capable of murder?
7 RUMORS SWIRL THAT SEX-TAPE STARS PAMELA ANDERSON AND RICK SALOMON ARE PLANNING ON GETTING MARRIED.
The celebrity couple said that they've learned from past mistakes, and from now on will only use stabilized, high-definition digital cameras with proper lighting to tape their sexual encounters.
8 OUTSPOKEN TELEVISION AND RADIO PERSONALITY BILL O'REILLY COMES UNDER FIRE AFTER STATING THAT HE "COULDN'T GET OVER THE FACT"
THAT EATING AT THE BLACK-RUN SYLVIA'S IN HARLEM WAS SIMILAR TO OTHER "WHITE" RESTAURANTS.
While
blacks
were
offended
for
obvious
reasons,
many
white
people
were also
offended
when O'Reilly's example of a typical "white" restaurant was Applebee's.
9 PRESIDENT BUSH PROMISES TO VETO A PROPOSED BILL THAT WOULD EXPAND A FEDERAL HEALTH INSURANCE PROGRAM FOR CHILDREN.
Bush iterated that we're already spending too much on healthcare for Iraqi children to even consider paying for American children as well.
10 REPUBLICAN PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE JOHN MCCAIN SAYS
THAT HE WOULD PREFER A CHRISTIAN PRESIDENT OVER A MUSLIM.
McCain's comments seem reasonable, seeing as how the U.S.is doing so well under our current Christian president.
THINK YOU HAVE A BETTER JOKE? E-MAIL ME AT HAWKTOPICS@KANSAN.COM.
Chris Raine