THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 20, 2007
SEX on the Hill 9B
Faking it lets women live up to stereotypes
Editor's note: All of the women in this story are real students at the University. They asked that their names be changed. We went all out.
**Women sometimes fake orgasm to maintain their desirability, make their partners feel better, or end a lackluster performance. The entertainment industry portrays sex as a mind-blowing experience in which men and women always reach climax. Pressures such as this cause some women to feel inadequate when they don't have an orgasm.**
*Photo illustration by Mickey Bindey*
BY MEGAN MILLS editor@kansan.com
More than likely those moans coming from your female partner are merely a rehearsed performance, and some women should earn an award for their ability to fake an orgasm.
Photo illustration by Mindy Ricketts
Numbers vary, but some sources say as many as one in three women regularly fake orgasms. The reasons why women pretend to reach the pinnacle of sexual arousal vary from woman and situation, but for the majority, fake orgasms are due to the pressures of anticipated expectations during sex. Both men and women view a false representation of the sexual experience from the entertainment industry, which often portrays sex as a mind-blowing experience in which both partners always reach climax. This fictitious representation causes the Dicks and Janes of the real world to believe that the same should happen for them.
Sophomore Paradise Michigan said the media definitely shaped her opinions about sex. Her own satisfaction aside, she said that she was surprised when her first sexual partner
orgasm.
If movies and television do not skew a woman's idea of what sex is really like, her partner's expectations of the experience can cause her to worry and fake an orgasm in order to maintain her own confidence and self-image.
"My boyfriend said that his other girlfriend always did it when they had sex. I didn't really know what I was doing, and I thought I was supposed to since I had always heard about it," said junior Cadillac Florida. "From all of my friends and all the people I had known, I had this idea that they orgasmed. I thought that something was wrong with me or that I was doing it wrong."
Many women worry that their inability to reach orgasm will single them out and make them less desirable to their partners.
Florida also cited not wanting to hurt her boyfriend's feelings as a reason for faking it.
"I thought if I didn't, then it might hurt his feelings and he might feel deficient in some way"
Like many women, she did not want her boyfriend to feel embarrassed so she pretended to have an orgasm in order to protect her partner's self-esteem.
Senior Champaign Illinois
"I thought if I didn't, then it might hurt his feelings and he might feel deficient in some way."
CADILLAC FLORIDA Junior
did not praise his maker, bark like a dog or momentarily black out when he reached orgasm, causing her to doubt her performance and think she was doing something wrong. She also felt sexually inadequate because she did not reach
equated faking climax to cooking her significant other's favorite food.
"Sometimes you do nice things for someone in a relationship, like cooking them a nice
meal that you don't particularly enjoy," Illinois said. "That is what faking an orgasm is like: you are giving up just a little bit of your own enjoyment so that your partner can have a better experience."
If the expectations that accompany sex are not the driving force
behind a woman's phony sexual summit, her partner's lackluster performance could be the cause. Senior Bliss Idaho said she faked it because she just wanted to get it over with if the sex was not fun anymore or if she lost interest. However, she said that this rule applied only if she was not with a serious boyfriend or she was with someone that she knew she would never see again.
Idaho said that if she was in a relationship or with someone who she would be with another time, she wouldn't fake it because she would not want her partner to think he was doing a good job when in reality he was not. Instead of faking it, she said, she
let her partner know how she felt, making sure to inform him in a nice way so as not to hurt his feelings.
As Idaho has found, many men will believe that the woman he is with is happy and enjoys the sexual experience if she fakes it. This can lead to long-term dissatisfaction for the woman if she is in a relationship.
Even if a guy is not in a relationship, any woman who has slept with him in the past and
faked it has only reinforced nss misguided confidence, and so he will continue to disappoint any woman who has the misfortune of sleeping with him unless his sexual partners decide to speak up. If not, he could be doomed to a future of one-night-stands because, according to MSNBC. com, both men and women "expressed that sex was important as a way to bring couples closer, to help maintain healthy relationships and to increase
one's self confidence."
So, ladies, don't be so quick to judge a guy who you think might be lacking in the bedroom department. Ignore any feelings of embarrassment or awkwardness and tell your partner, or even show him, what he can do to improve so you both can enjoy the sexual experience.
Edited by Dianne Smith
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