OPINION
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THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN WWW.KANSAN.COM MONDAY, AUGUST 27, 2007 PAGE 7A
Cohen: Words of wisdom on academics and campus life for both new and returning students.
MONDAY, AUGUST 27, 2007
DRAWING BOARD
PAGE 7A
NICE AND ACCURATE PROPHECIES
Annoying advertising is worse for businesses than none at all While trying to sell their products, many companies miss the mark entirely
In 1903 a man named Hershey went into business for himself in a small Pennsylvania town, producing thin brick chocolate bars, aptly named Hershey bars. He unveiled his simple product to the public at a party where he handed out the foil-wrapped bars to his guests.
By the time he died in 1945, Milton S. Hershey was a household name. His chocolate bar had become America's favorite and it had risen to this height of achievement without one shred of advertising. In fact, Hershey bars went 90 years without wasting a dime on anything but their plain brown wrappers. It was not until the mid 1990's that the Hershey Company began it's "Unwrap A Smile" ad campaign—prior to that, Hershey bars had sold themselves by the
millions per annum.
Now lets talk about 1978, when a woman named Stevens went into business for herself in the town of Wichita, producing hamburgers, gyros, and sourdough treats that to this day are supposed to "just taste better."
What do Milton S. Hershey and Rene Stevens have in common?
I was born in Wichita and raised in or around its city limits until I was 18. In that time, I was probably subjected to at least a dozen Spangles advertisements a day. I'll do the math: 12 commercials times 365 days a year times 22 years equals 96,360 commercials in my lifetime—separated between radio and television (this does not take into account leap years).
Absolutely nothing!
If each commercial averaged 60 seconds in duration, that means 5,781,600 seconds (two months) of my life have been spent in annoyance of the "BOP-BOP-BOP-BOP-BOP-BOP-BOP-BOP-BOP-M
The ads are on the radio and on television, using poorly composed 50's parody music and rejects from the movie "Bratz" to sell the heart-unfriendly 1/3 pound Gourmet Supreme burger. A hamburger that has apparently—according to the Spangles Web site—been "voted the best burger year after year."
M-M-MUDSLIDE!" jingle.
The Web site neglects to say who does the voting, who runs the election and who the contenders for the title of "best burger" are, but hey, who really cares right? The commercials exploit the elderly, minors, and former Wichita State basketball coach Mark Turgeon in attempts to sell Spangles' wares to the unfortunate public, and that's what's really important.
Had I the space, I would write reams on her oddly named frozen deserts. I can't, for all my fur and whiskers, understand what is so appetizing about a natural disaster that claims thousands of lives a year in developing countries.
like Hershey bars. They never seem to impose on my life or annoy me. Spangles, on the other hand, is an establishment I won't visit on the principle that I hate their commercials for their ability to annoy me to the point of rage.
GARDENING TIPS
I don't know much about advertising, but I do know I
I give Ms. Stevens kudos for her commercials' staying power. I do know what Spangles is and where it is and how much her Gourmet Supreme hamburger costs ($2.99—a dollar less than a Double Quarter-Pounder with cheese from McDonald's). But the fact remains that knowledge of a product does not equal desire to consume.
P. S. —The coffee always tastes like it's been on the burner since Iran-Contra.
So, Ms. Stevens, a word of advice: cut the advertising a bit and work on quality. If your product is good then it will sell itself. Take a lesson from Mr. Hershey.
Smith is a Rose Hill graduate student in English.
Bigotry comes in many shapes
Assuming prejudice of others without evidence is narrow-minded itself
BRANDON T. MINSTER
The state of Kansas has a tourism slogan: "Kansas: As Big As You Think." I don't know how their PR firm convinced them to play up the biggest complaint most Americans have against the state ("It takes so long to drive across Kansas!"), but somehow the tourism board has sunk millions of dollars into convincing you that it does, indeed, take forever to drive across Kansas.
Now, how much does the average person care about his state's tourism slogan? It's designed for outside consumption. Kansas could be placing ads in East Coast weekly magazines that say, "Ever wanted to see a hillbilly? Have we got a treat for you!" and no one around here would know. Unless you try to recoup some of your confiscated taxes by ordering a tourism brochure, when would you really see the slogan?
But here is something you do see a lot when you're in Kansas: bumper stickers that have changed the state tourism slogan into a condemnation of the unenlightened views of the common Kansan with, "Kansas: As Bigoted As You Think."
From where I stand, it seems to be saying this: "You have a concept in your head of how bigoted the people of Kansas are. Well, you're one hundred percent right, brother! These people are downright intolerant! If you're not a Kansan, give silent thanks to Mother Earth; if you are a Kansan, hang your head in shame and get one of these bumper stickers."
An interesting argument, considering the definition of the word "bigot." As purloined from
a dictionary Web site, the definition is:
"bigot n : a prejudiced person who is intolerant of any opinions differing from his own."
And what of that word "prejudiced?" Prejudice is "an adverse judgment or opinion formed beforehand or without knowledge or examination of the facts."or, "a preconceived preference or idea."
This bumper sticker, which might initially appear to be a condemnation of bigotry, in the end does not work without the reader's innate bigotry. An unbigoted person would read the sticker and think, "Well, I've never really thought of Kansas as bigoted in the first place." The reader must have a "preconceived judgment" of Kansas for the bumper sticker to validate it. What it really says is this: "You've got bigoted notions about how bigoted Kansans are. For some reason, your bigotry is to be condoned while their bigotry is to be condemned. Down with (certain forms of) bigotry!"
Why not get a bumper sticker that says what they really mean? "Kansas: I Don't Agree With Their Electoral Majority." What would be wrong with that? What it lacks in pith it makes up for refreshing honesty.
The problem is that a sticker like that would only point out the two sides of the debate, without saying which side is "right." Where's the righteous indignation in saying, "There's a disagreement here and either side might be correct"? It's far more satisfying to condemn someone for one of modern America's deadly sins, like "intolerance." What these car-drivers want is to paint one side as ignorantly opinionated. To that end, they are quite successful, but not quite how they intended.
Minster is a Lawrence senior in economics.
FREE FOR ALL: 864-0500 OR KANSAN.COM/FACEBOOK
Free for All callers have 20 seconds to speak about any topic they wish. Kansan editors reserve the right to omit comments. Slanderous and obscene statements will not be printed.
Despite how incredibly drunk I was at the SUA carnival, it was STILL lame as hell.
Only thing worse than a Spangles commercial: a Wescoe Beach commercial.
Ever drink Bailey's from a shoe?
We should have Hawk Week all year. We're running out of free Coke.
They made the Facebook Free for All Just so the dude that does all this doesn't have to decipher all the drunk messages on Monday morning.
I'm a sneaky bastard when I'm drunk.
Huzzah! Free for All for those too lazy to actually call in!
There should be more dating. Single men at KU, start asking!
To the woman I pied in the face at 9:18 p.m. at the SUA carnival: I only missed because I couldn't bear the thought of covering your beautiful face.
The Kansan application has FFA, but the story tabs are empty. Obviously, the FFA has cut off the rest of the Kansan's heads, and gained their power. There can be only one
For the record, the TV station needs to work on their camera work. How about we try to look at the correct camera next time?
Holy crap, if you forget to hit the "anonymous" box, you can't even delete what you said. That could get dangerous.
Hello Free for All, this is Chris Hansen from Dateline NBC. Why don't you have a seat over there?
It's a Saturday night and I'm sober. I hate the government and all of these silly laws.
Free For All, I am without female companionship tonight… will you stay with me so I'm not alone?
I love the Kansan.
To all my ex-Pearsonites: I miss you all, and have a great year.
Free for All, seriously, the Sudoku on Friday was NOT worth 4 stars. WAY too easy. Give me a challenge, please!
Free for All, you better check yo
self before you wreck yo' self foo!
Barack Obama is the man!
There was a cell phone on the Park and Ride bus. I turned it in to the bus driver.
Freshmen: there are crosswalks on campus for a reason. Use them or I will run you over.
Can someone please tell me where the Campus Circulator and the Campus Express even go?
AND why are there like 800 of them and only one McCollium bus.
I'm tired of being sexiled out of my dorm room by my roommate.
Has anyone found a cell phone recently?
The girls playing ultimate at Shenk are hot.
Memo to new freshman: If you look right at my moving car, then step into the crosswalk anyway, I do not feel the least bit guilty of running your ass over. Just so you
Last night, I got drunk and started filling out college applications. I'm sorry, Jayhawks. I didn't mean it. I don't want to leave you. It was just the alcohol talk.
Why is it you're only offered a penny for your thoughts, but if freely given you can get up to two cents?
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Erick R. Schmidt, editor
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Eric Jorgensen, managing editor 864-4810 or ejorgensen@kansan.com
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Kelsey Hayes, opinion editor
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Jackie Schaffer, advertising director 864-4358 or jschaffer@kansan.com
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Erick R. Schmidt, Eric Jorgensen, Darla Silipe, Kelsey Hayes, Bryan Dykman, Brandon T. Minister, Angelique McNaughton and Benjamin R. Smith
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