MONDAY, AUGUST 13, 2007 | BACK TO SCHOOL | WWW.KANSAN.COM THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN 41
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Sitting down and communicating your feelings can easily improve the relationship between parents and college students. Often, the disagreements aren't as intense as they may be perceived.
PARENTS (CONTINUED FROM 40)
KANSAN FILE PHOTO
ents also struggle to redefine their own place in the world after you move out. "I got really depressed during this time," my mom told me. "All of a sudden I had all this extra time and no one to mother." It's very difficult to go through what King calls the "launching stage"; the period when a young person gradually becomes more independent. "So far, they've been defined as being a parent," King says. "They experience a sense of loss. They need their kids to still need them."
Coming home is also stressful for parents because they know your visit is short-lived and you will leave again. To connect more with her mom while she's away at school, Gekas is trying to teach her mom to use Gmail chat. That way they can talk more frequently and her mom won't feel as much distance between them, she says.
Learn to communicate
A leading mistake among families is their lack of communication. According to Bloch, families must put it out there that they are
going through a difficult transition. "There is an expectation that it should be easy to handle," he says. "It's better to talk about your feelings than hide them."
Allen says it's important to recognize the time as an adjustment. The transition will not be smooth at all times, but not communicating and losing the relationship can only cause harm to the student involved. "If a young adult can maintain contact with their parents, they will most likely be more stable and grounded," she says. "On the other hand, if a student is cut off from their parents, they can become more vulnerable to develop a problem with alcohol or drugs."
I've changed a lot of things in the past few months. Now when my mom calls, I call her back and make an attempt to ask her about her day. Although our relationship isn't perfect, (but whose is, right?) I realize now why it got to the point it did. We both made mistakes, but we'll overcome them because we love each other.
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