UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN Friday, October 21, 1994 7A Finding a loving relationship focus of class Professor guides students with group discussion By Meng Yew Tee Special to the Kansan After listening to the class lecture on "Possessiveness," she called her boyfriend and told him that their relationship was over. She realized she did not want to be controlled by anyone, especially her boyfriend. A man had lost a brother and his grandmother in a car accident, and his parents were getting a divorce. He found solace on the day the class topic was "Loss of Loving Relationships." These are two of many students who have discussed some of life's most intimate, difficult and embarrassing moments in Robert Shelton's class, Religion 475, "The Loving Relationship." For 18 years, Shelton, associate professor of religious studies and the University's ambudsman, has been guiding students in dealing with the ums and the downs of relationships. Jean Paul Vissepo, Puerto Rico junior, likes the experience he is gaining from the class. "It gives you a new insight on different aspects of love and loving relationships." Vissepo said. To foster that insight, Shelton assigns a total of nine essays or personal writing assignments. The topics, which also are covered in lectures, include friendships and marriages, the love of self and the love of others, conflict with loved ones, the loss of loving relationships, relationships with the community, and sexuality. One essay question asked students to discuss a divorce experience that they had been closely related with. Students were asked to identify what factors contributed to the end of the relationship. In addition to personal writing assignments and lectures, the class involves group discussions, Shelton said. The groups present the opportunity to gain a different and fresh perspective. This process may be an uncomfortable experience to some because much of the discussion involves personal matters. But Shelton insists that the discussion is essential to the class because he thinks that people learn better from each other. "I tell students on the first day of class that if they don't want to do that, they should drop the class," Shelton said. "Learning does not necessarily have to be comfortable." Students also need to be familiar with the four required texts, including one written by Shelton. The Loving Relationship." An average of 100 students enroll for the class every spring and fall. Shelton created the course in 1976 after a student complained to him that there was not a course on the study of loving relationships. Shelton, who specializes in the study of religious social ethics, felt that his knowledge in religion would be fitting for such a course since most religions taught people to love. However, his lectures are not religiously based. Will Ingram, Kansas City, Kan, graduate student, is one of many students who benefited from the class. He decided to attend the class one semester and later became a facilitator of the class with the responsibility of guiding group discussions. In Fall 1991, he became the teaching assistant for the course. Ingram will teach the class in Spring 1995 while Shelton is on sabbatical. Robert Shelton Associate professor of religious studies "I didn't want it to end, and I still don't want it to end," Ingram said. "It is a new paradigm, a new faith and different from the way I have lived my life. 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