4A
Wednesday, September 28, 1994
OPINION
UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
Computers: Do what I want, not what I sav
HEATHER KIRKWOOD Computer poltergeists are not for the faint of heart or for the late of homework.
Computers were supposed to make our lives easier, and usually they do, but sometimes, just sometimes, I think they are more trouble than they're worth.
Computer nerds seem to take pleasure in my technological agony. They are constantly telling me such useful things as, "Your computer is a machine. It will only do what you tell it." Obviously, they have not met my computer.
The other day I was having computer problems. The "innocent" machine was behaving as though it had a mind of its own. It decided I was finished with a file and promptly disposed of my homework somewhere in circuit space.
Fearing that no file was safe, I dug
out the mountain of manuals and started looking for the problem. I should have known this was an exercise in futility. I know better than to think I might open a computer manual and find intelligible English.
After a few hours, I made an emergency call to the computer store.
This was my next exercise in futility. I explained to the techie-voice on the other end that my computer was inhabited by a poltergeist, and I needed an exorcism performed.
Having no sense of humor, this man explained to me that the problem was not my computer; it was me. Being something less than a computer wizard and therefore, in his opinion, something less than human, I was the root of the problem.
After all, he informed me, computers do only what you tell them.
My ego deflated; I followed his instructions, and the poltergeist disappeared.
I know, however, that this is just an illusion. The computer poltergeist thrives on playing games with my mind. It is just lying in wait until once again I trust technology. And then, WHAM! My bits will bite the dust.
It always happens when you least expect it, like when you are sitting in front of your computer, usually about 1:00 a.m., trying to put the finishing touches on some great work of brilliance that you have composed spontaneously and that will be due in only a few, short hours.
It's then, and only then, that the
computer poltergeist, knowing you have been concentrating so intently that you have forgotten to save anything, will eat your labor up like breakfast. Afterwards, as if to belch, it will cause your screen to flash and your keyboard to freeze up. Searching frantically, you will realize there is nothing you can do. It is beyond your control. As you try to push the buttons that do not respond, your computer beeps as if to laugh at you.
It is, of course, your fault. Computers only do what you tell them.
Personally, I think this is the craziest thing of all about computers. What else does what you tell? Vacuum cleaners don't do what you tell them. Neither do dust rags, plumbing or most other people. Actually, the idea
of something doing exactly what you tell it is a foreign concept in the lives of most people. It's no wonder so many of us can't cope.
Of all the wonderful gadgets and gizmos that computer nerds are creating to improve our lives, I wonder if they have any plans for the computer that knows what I meant and not what I said? I want a computer that knows what I want and not what I think I want. That would really be a contribution to society!
Until then, I am on my guard. I know the poltergeist is at work waiting for its next meal. I know this, and so, I SAVED!
VIEWPOINT
Heather Kirkwool is a Wichita Junior in magazine Journalism.
Auditoriums need more accessibility for everyone
In a recent out-of-court settlement, a movie theater agreed to pay a 360 pound woman for failing to accommodate her.
The theater did not provide her a place to sit or allow her to bring in her own chair when the standard theater seats would not accommodate her.
vide a section of seats or a space, such as spaces for wheelchairs, that would accommodate everyone.
This way everyone can enjoy movies, theater and
THEATER SETTLEMENT
Recent settlement involving a woman who was unable to sit in a movie theater displays need for better accommodations.
This settlement draws our attention to the need to provide public accommodations for everybody. It seems a small matter for public places to pro-
The costs of adding such sections to
public places would be minimal.
It would be a small price to pay in comparison to the benefit that all people would be able to appreciate public entertainment.
Embryo research requires clear ethical boundaries
The decision by the federal government to give researchers funds to study embryo development was made without first establishing the e th i c al boundaries necessary to pursue this experimentation.
ability of a child to survive is a good thing, but researchers and the government should be careful.
EMBRYO DEVELOPMENT
Without ethical guide-
Without ethical guidelines, government-funded research could cross the line between fighting disease and playing God.
Supporters say embryos could hold the key to fighting infertility, cancer and other diseases.
Embryos should not be used to genetically alter characteristics such as hair color or sex, and scientists should not randomly
Trying to increase the
experiment with genes.
experiment with genes. If this happens, a situation where the development of a "master race" could possibly happen.
ROBERTA JOHNSON FOR THE EDITORIAL BOARD
KANSAN STAFF
STEPHEN MARTINO Editor
CHRISTOPH FUHRMANS Managing editor
JEN CARR Business manager
TOM EBLEN General manager, news adviser
CATHERINE ELLSWORTH Systems coordinator
CAMERON DEATH Retail sales manager
JEANNE HINES Sales and marketing adviser
Editors
News ... Sara Bennett
Editorial ... Donella Heame
Campus ... Mark Martin
Sports ... Bram James
Photo ... Daron Bennett
Mellasaa Lacey
Features ... Trecel Carl
Planning Editor ... Susan White
Design ... Noah Muser
Assistant to the editor .. Robbie Johnson
Business Staff
Campus mgr ... Todd Winters
Regional mgr ... Laura Guth
National mgr ... Mark Mastro
Coop mgr ... Emily Gibson
Special Sections mgr ... Jen Pierer
Production mgrs ... Holly Boren
Regan Overy
Marketing director ... Alan Stiglio
Creative director ... John Carlton
Classified mgr ... Heather Niahou
Letters should be typed, double-spaced and fewer than 200 words. They must include the writer's signature, name, address and telephone number. Writers affiliated with the University of Kansas must include class and hometown, or faculty or staff position.
Guest columns should be typed, double-spaced and fewer than 700 words. The writer will be photographed.
The Karsan reserves the right to reject or edit letters, guest columns and cartoons. They can be mailed or brought to the Karsan newsroom, 111 Stauffer-Flint Hall.
Matt Hood / KANSAN
Pinch magazine deserves funding
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
This letter is in response to Lance Hamby's editorial in the Sept. 20 Kansan about Student Senate's funding for Pinch magazine.
It is clear to me that Hamby has no idea how much money the printing of a magazine costs. Perhaps he should have called a representative from Pinch and asked for a budget breakdown. We asked for $4,700 in order to increase our circulation and to reach more of the student population. Most of our budget is allotted to printing. We should get about 3,000 copies for that amount.
In addition, Pinch magazine is an open and accessible organization. It is student run, and the material is student written. We accept submissions right up until publication. Part of our budget is for advertising in the Kansan, asking for submissions to include more of the student body. How did Hamby reach the conclusion that Pinch is exclusive? He never called me or any of the other staff members to verify this.
Lawrence community a part of campus life, and because not all students live and work on campus, we try to distribute Pinch in student frequented businesses such as Free State Brewing Co., Inc., Arizona Trading Co., and The Jazzhaus. We also put copies in several campus buildings. Hamby did Pinch a great disservice by writing an editorial based on assumption, not fact. If he has any more question about Pinch, I hope that he will pick up the phone. I would be happy to show him the petitions proving that students want alternative press, and $4,700 is all we need to give it to them.
Hamby also picked on Pinch for asking for $4700. Last year, fiscal year 1993, Kiosk received $5,581, and Whositions received $7650. Does Mr. Hamby want the budgets of these fine publications slashed as well?
Stephanie Moore President, Pinch magazine
Since we at Pinch consider the
Campus lots curb KU's motorcyclists
Once the fall semester starts up, parking complaints are "as thick as autumn leaves that strow the brooks In Vallambrosa," but I believe I have a pair of uncommon ones: motorcycle parking.
Although I am sure we are all glad to see the resurfacing of Memorial Drive, I am less than pleased with the height of new curbs. The owner's manual for my 1994 motorcycle cautions against riding over curbs. Would it not have been possible to build some blacktop ramps
to make ascending and descending these cliffs less of a jolt?
But I forgot myself; motorcyclists are second-class citizens.
While the two lots behind Strong and Bailey Halls are my primary ones, I did, rather d park in the lot by Watkins Health Center whenever I needed to use the center. Alas, the Parking Department took a lot that fit four to six motorcycles and made it into spaces for two cars.
But I forget myself; motorcyclists are second-class citizens.
Because they are more gas efficient and take up less space, motorcycles are more environmentally friendly than cars. I should think that the University would encourage the use of vehicles that lessen the overwhelming parking problems on campus. By adding to riding hazards with its extra-tall curbs and by decreasing the number of motorcycle lots, it is, indeed, discouraging riders.
I would like to believe this situation has been caused simply by oversight rather than malicious disregard for motorcyclists, but I have my doubts. Consequently, I ask all other riders on campus to make their concerns known.
Let us not be treated as second-class citizens.
Patrick D. Enright Lawrence graduate student
E-mail helps share wisdom
Every once in a while I will come upon something that seems extraordinary. This always seems to happen in the strangest places: in the subway, in bathrooms, on the sidewalk, by pay phones or in pieces of literature.
The most recent bit of enlightenment came to me in a different manner, however: E-Mail. If you have E-Mail you are probably very much aware of all the little chains of information that get passed around. Checking my E-mail messages one day, I found this bit of wisdom, forwarded to me by someone at MIT. Struck by its accuracy, I copied it down to share with all my friends.
We go to classes.
People who go to college are incredible.
We sleep very little.
We read and absorb and are comprehensively tested on heavy amounts of various materials.
Someone is always complaining.
Someone is always complaining. We become attached to do
We drink ourselves into oblivion. We kill ourselves with several types of smoke.
We become attached to close friends.
We cough and keep on smoking. Someone is always sick.
We smother each other. We lean too much.
We know we cannot.
We think often of the past and want to go back.
We have separate lives, families, backgrounds and pasts.
We live totally different from how we used to live.
We are frustrated and sometimes want to give up, but we never stop trying.
We disregard health. We eat awful foods.
We are forced to think about the future.
We reach out for things,yet we don't find them.
We try to sort out our minds, which are filled with studies, worries, problems, memories, emotions and powerful feelings.
We wander the halls looking for happiness.
We hurt a lot.
We keep going though, because — above all else — we never stop learning, growing, changing and, most importantly, dreaming.
Dreams keep us going, and they always will.
All we can do is thank God that we have something to hold onto — like dreams and each other.
Kathy Kipp is a Woolridge, Ill., sophomore in English.
HUBIE
By Greg Hardin