THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
WEDNESDAY, JUNE 15, 2011
PAGE 9
opinion
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I'm so tired of being bitter about relationships. I've been single for nearly two years now and haven't had a single girl take interest in me. I am decent looking, have good morals and a steady job. What gives?
Hmm.I have a feeling that you think you're a better catch than you actually are.
Maybe you just need to get out there? And don't friend zone... That's a big problem with men these days. They friend zone and then it's donezo.
Damn, having sex with my flashlight makes me gay? Meh. Maybe I can get some more action playing both sides of the field.
More like Captain Desperate of the U.S.S. Relentless.
I've never had a blowjob.
To my bestest friend: The only time you disappoint me is when your batteries run out. But then you make up for it with extra jolts of pleasure. This drink is to you Mr. Purple.
My problem is that I'm kinda shy. I can't just walk up to a girl.I've got to have a lead-in of some sort, usually a joke or something like that.
Today is Lebron James Day. That means everyone gets to leave 12 minutes early.
Since when has FFA turned into an episode of 'Dr. Phil'?
Summer school sucks. There is only one girl in my class and she is really not all that hot. This is going to hinder me in the sex department big time.
No shame in safe sex, so stop STI spread
SEXUALITY
The first weekend in June is the KC Gay Pride in Kansas City, an internationally-celebrated festival for LGBTQAs in mostly urban areas. However, this year instead of walking around with my shirt off, drinking Diet Coke and flirting with strangers, I was helping to keep Kansas City STI-free.
Aside from my primary volunteer duties of testing and counseling for HIV, I spent the closing hours of Pride Sunday passing out the remaining estimated 3,000 safer-sex kits. Passing out condoms and lubricant to strangers was actually a great time; however, not surprisingly, reactions to offers ranged from enthusiasm to disgust and from boldness to shyness.
Contrary to popular belief, Pride is fairly diverse, with many straight singles and couples, older and younger folks, Hispanics, blacks, whites—you name it. And, regardless of age, race, perceived sexuality or sex of the
BY JAMES CASTLE
icastle@kansan.com
person, many responded with excitement toward the random handout, often bluntly declaring they "love to have sex" or that they "may need this tonight."
I love this reaction because it reinforces the idea that sex is not a bad thing. We know most people have sex, but it's not socially acceptable or "appropriate" to discuss, and people who do show a likeness for sexual activity are assumed to have lots of sex with lots of different people and are susceptible to names such as slut, whore, skank, etc.
Many others followed this
normative behavior when offered free safer-sex materials, making faces of disgust that read, "Oh, we don't do that!" or blushing and giggling out of embarrassment, even if they were snogging with the person next to them just a couple of minutes prior.
Perhaps some people were honest in claiming they don't have sex or having sex at that time would be against their beliefs. But, if their reactions were—as I would expect the case to be for most —in fact following the established norms in contradiction to their actual behavior, then we have a problem.
When sex is constructed as negative, people are deterred from accepting condoms in public or purchasing them at a store because they may be embarrassed, or they may be trying to live up to the standards of what constitutes a "good" person, avoiding any behavior that may conflict with that social image, such as condom use, which
could imply they like to have sex (and are thus seen as "skanky").
Pretending to not like sex and avoiding taking or buying condoms to accomplish the image of "good" person is just pure idiocy. And there is no reason to feel shy about people knowing you use condoms. Condom use demonstrates a concern for your safety and the safety of others; a prudent person engages in safe sex.
In a college environment, where STIs are isolated and spread rapidly amongst younger people, it's important to reject an understanding of sex as a negative construct and embrace a more intellectual and considerate approach, one which understands sex to be common practice and latex barrier use to be important in that practice.
James Castle is a senior from Stilwell in political science and human sexuality.
SOCIETY
Blame attitudes and behavior for sexual assault, not women
The world celebrated along with the Egyptian protestors when Hosni Mubarak stepped down from his 30-year rule in February. A euphoric bubble encompassed the Middle East, inspiring and fueling further revolutions. News organizations praised social media for its part played in the revolutions and images of triumphant crowds and cheering youth were plastered all over the internet and TV stations.
But that euphoria was tainted for 18 female protestors who were arrested in Tahrir Square on March 9. According the Amnesty International, a human-rights group, during their detainment, the women were beaten and given electric shocks.
For 17 women, the mistreatment did not end there. They were subjected to strip searches, forced to submit to virginity tests and threatened with prostitution charges.
BY JESSIE BLAKEBOROUGH jblakeborough@kansan.com
The purpose behind these tests was to protect authorities in case any of the women claimed they were raped during their detainment.
The military denied all accusations of virginity tests until June 1 when an unidentified Egyptian military general acknowledged the tests occurred.
The unnamed general told CNN, "The girls who were detained were not like your daughter or mine. These were girls who had camped out in tents with male protesters."
God-freaking-forbid. These women were out protesting alongside their male counterparts for freedom from a dictatorship-like oppression. Surely, the only reason a woman would be out in the streets of a dangerous protest is to sell herself to the men.
This brings a whole new level of insult. The fact that the authorities who arrested these women claim that because the women weren't virgins they couldn't be raped is ridiculous, sexist, idiotic. I could go on for days about the injustice of the implications of that claim.
Virgins aren't the only ones who can be victims of rape and sexual assault. Amnesty International considers the general's response sexist and legally absurd.
This is basically the same argument that a girl who dresses in tight clothing is "asking for it." No woman, anywhere in the world, is asking to be raped. To suggest otherwise is so completely offensive I cannot even begin to address such moronic comments in this column.
In situations like this it is easy for the rest of the world to sit back and look shocked, perhaps shaking a head and summoning up a few sympathetic words. But hypocrisy doesn't sit well with me either.
Virginity testing might not happening in the U.S. but that doesn't mean that sexism and other behaviors that hint of inequality aren't real problems for American women.
Still, we see sexist behaviors run rampant on campus - students objectify women and use derogatory terminology. Sexism is here, it's just not as easy to spot as it was forty years ago.
Blakeborough is a junior in international business and journalism from Baltimore.
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