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TUESDAY,MAY 10,2011
THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
PAGE 6A
opinion
apps.facebook.com/dailykansan
Gosh dang Playstation Network, by the time it takes you to get your system up I will be done with school and will not be needing you to procrastinate.
Dear Anschutz: If you give preferential Internet access to PCs over Macs during finals week (AGAIN), I might just start cussing in the quiet zone.
Excuse me ladies of the University of Kansas. We have a huge problem. When your ponytail is shooting out the top of your head I'm going to talk to you like you are three years old or really stupid.
Dear males (mostly freshmen), when you wear jean shorts I'm going to treat you like you're from rural Missouri.
I wonder how much KU students as a whole spend on sidewalk chalk every year?
To the girl who had Picklemans delivered on Friday. Most people tip about 15%. You tipped me 167%. I owe you a cookie.
I have the song "If I Die Young" by The Band Perry stuck in my head. Is this an omen for finals?
I am obsessed with the structure of your face. Am I in love?
Had a Mother's Day picnic in South Park today while listening to the life story of the local schizo sitting in the grass. I love Lawrence.
The Lakers are feelin' like Rebecca Black on a Monday.
Why is it that my favorite thing about college is drunkenly reliving everything I did as a child?
All I have to do is draw a picture,
and I just can't bring myself to do it.
Go somewhere else to pretend to study, some of us are actually trying to do work.
Famous last words of an Al-Qaida recruit last week, "Who died and made you boss?"
You know youre high when you just barely glaze up and immediately see your name written in the popcorn ceiling. There are lots of words up there...
So it's already 83 degrees and supposed to be 101 today. I think Kansas missed the whole spring memo.
HOW TO GET INVOLVED
Interested in being a columnist or an editorial cartoonist for the opinion page next year? Email fall editor Kelly Stroda at kstroda@kansan.com.
Defying gym etiquette is quite normal at the Rec Center
CULTURE
It's unarguably the best job on campus: gym attendant at the Rec. I've seen things at the Ambler Student Recreation Fitness Center that have made me confused, surprised, speechless, loco, and bewildered at the same time. These things and their accompanying emotions have put me in differing, equally frustrating degrees of SMH (shaking my head).
I've seen chorus lines of men curling their biceps rhythmically in standing, seated, and prone positions. They grunt with each other in harmony and always in time. Their muses, the women on the floor doing sit-ups, strain to pull on their necks and add as many variations on their legs as the Earth's current gravitational pull accommodates. I've realized from these women that Nike Tempo shorts in gray are the least helpful in hiding buttcrack sweat.
I see men who work a pectorals split
BY LIZ STEPHENS
lstephens@kansan.com
on Monday, return on Wednesday to do pectorals, and then come back on Friday to touch up their pectorals.
Benches knocked sideways, bloody noses, someone pulling her arm out on the TRX machine and then opening her mouth to scream silently. Gallons of water murky with protein powder shoved to the side, slammed over while their owners max out on Romanian deadlift.
I've seen Jerry Moran walk around
the pulley contraptions, frowning, pulling at his clothes like he's never worn a tank top and cloth shorts before.
I've seen those whose arms are so large that they can't cross their arms; I fear for their wiping abilities or lack thereof.
I've seen the most delicate of humans, rosy cheeks and soft sloping shoulders, snarl and stomp while gangsta rap leaks out of their iPod ear buds. Do they even know what the literal definition of the "F" word is? In between sets they shake their iwands, close their eyes, and mouth the words out of their tiny, pink lips. It's hard for me to yield respect when I'm not sure if they've been weaned from breastfeeding yet.
I've seen people with hulking shoulders, deltoids rippling into their respective thirds, and defined brachioradialuses but have calves as delicate and thin as a porcelain vase.
I've seen individuals do 50 lat pulldowns as quickly as they can, look around and repeat.
Regularly are there people doing bent-over rows on the squat rack. And I ask myself, are they unaware that they are defying gym etiquette by using the most sought-after piece of equipment in lieu of using an equivalent, yet less glamorous barbell found elsewhere? Or are they just being jerks?
These are the people who can drive me from SMH to PMF (pounding my fist) or SMF (slapping my face) and eventually to C (crying). But that's of no consequence to the patrons of the gym, and the less you mind these observations, the better. If you come to the Recreation Center, you may get made fun of, but you will be in good company.
Stephens is a junior in English from Dodge City.
Online dating is much more chivalrous than some think
In regards to the article written Monday on chivalry I was excited to see the title, "Chivalry should take a cue from the animal kingdom." After all, I suspect many girls like to see someone taking a stand for something other than a guy buying her a drink and thinking that's the golden ticket into her pants. But, upon reading further into the article, I was apalled to find that the author listed online dating as WORSE than dating resulting from alcohol and also worse than "hooking up." Really? I realize online dating is a bit taboo to some but is it less romantic and chivalrous than a drunk hookup after an evening at the bar?
My boyfriend and I met online. We're both attractive, outgoing people with plenty of friends somehow we both ended up having online profiles. The author's disgust with the "sad fact" that many students who attend KU with 30,000 other people have online profiles is ignorant. Is it
really that awful to open up your options to people you may not have met otherwise? He and I attended the same high school and had mutual friends but never met until we found each on an online dating site. It just goes to show that people slip through the cracks of our everyday lives. And, I might point out, the excitement and mystery of getting to know someone before meeting them in real life is closer to chivalry than meeting someone at a bar will ever be. He and I had a chemistry before either of us could really judge on appearance. Maybe we started out as just two online profiles outlining our nerdy ways and our love of cats and KU but it became so much more than that. Chivalry isn't dead and sometimes that chemistry, excitement and passion can start on the internet.
Kynsley Wollenberg is a sophomore from Manhattan.
Where's the best place to study?
on
witter
twitter.com/KansanOpinion
MelanieRR Melanie Remp @kansanopinion During the spring it has to be outside in the gorgeous weather!
lookisdrew Luke Sincleton
@kansanopinion wherever you can get away from the chatty frat packs, so basically nowhere near any library's quiet study zone.
kulibraries University of Kansas @kansanopinion admittedly biased, but we're open late with expert research help & free coffee during finals week.
CARTOON
GOVERNMENT CUTS ARE MAGIC E
SPENDING OUR BUILTETS!
SPEECHES ABOUT HOPE ARE OUR MAGIC BEANS!
Nicholas Sambaluk
FILM
Summer brings the heat with sizzling cinema flicks for any and all tastes
Well, the school year is winding down and finals week is coming up,
so I know what you're all thinking about: summer movies! The sheer number of movies coming out makes the prospect of watching blockbusters daunting, especially with the record-number of sequels coming out. Even if you were to only limit yourself to seeing superhero movies, you would still have to choose between "Green Lantern", "Thor", and approximately 62 other comic book movies scheduled for release. Don't worry, though, because I'm here to guide you through the torrid waters of summer films.
If you are desperately looking for a Mel Gibson redemption vehicle (and who isn't?!), then make sure you catch "The Beaver" (May 6, limited). It tells the story of Walter, a man with psychiatric problems who uses a beaver puppet to overcome his anxieties and win back the love of his friends and colleagues. It's just like real life, except we all still hate him.
MAY
If you loved "The Hangover" and want to watch basically the same movie again, don't miss "The Hangover Part II" (May 26). It looks OK, I guess, but I'm waiting for "The Hangover Part III" where, after celebrating something in a wild city, they wake up next to an exotic animal and something is wrong with Ed Helms's face. Hilarious!
Looking forward to "Bridesmaids" (May 6)? I suggest going back in time to catch the free screening in woodruff auditorium on April 25th. You'll be so impressed with Kristen Wiig's performance, you won't want be able to wait to watch/be disappointed by her on SNL!
JUNE
"Beautiful Boy" (June 3, limited) tells the story of the parents of a young man responsible for shooting up a school and then taking his own life — jeez, that's really depressing. Uh, go see "X-Men: First Class" (June 3) instead. It's about super-heroes and they fight people!
"Super 8" (June 10) from J.J. Abrams promises to be one of the better block-busters this summer. It's the story of a young boy, his first crush, and a military train that explodes outside of a small town. The teaser trailer shows something bashing its way out of train car. What could it be: An alien? A monster? The Kool-Aid man? The only way to find out is to see it or wait until the day after it comes out to read on Wikipedia! My guess: J.J. Abrams will make a lot of money.
JULY
Do you like brutally incomprehensible sible fight scenes in movies that are way too long? Then you can't miss
"Transformers" Dark of the Moon"! It promises to be such an assault on your senses that you'll feel like you really are in a city being torn apart by alien robots!
"Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2" (July 15) tells the story of—ah, who am I kidding, you all already know what happens.
"Cowboys & Aliens" (July 29) promises to answer the age-old question. "What would the old west have been like if aliens attacked?" The answer: "explosions!"
Finally, to finish off the summer, we have "Rise of the Planet of the Apes" (August 5) which takes place in a fantastic, unreal world where James Franco is could be a scientist.
AUGUST
Schumaker is a junior from Overland Park in film and media studies.
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