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MANUAL
DOING WITHOUT // SWEARING
Edited by Erin Wilbert
> Absence makes the heart grow ... ?
Here's the truth: I don't swear like a sailor. Sailors swear like me.
When I tell Jim O'Connor, the author of the book Cuss Control, that I'm trying to quit swearing for a week, he tells me to come up with substitute words. He suggests words like "shoot," but I'm sure I can do better.
I come up with two sentences to help me remember the words I'm not allowed to say and my new substitute words: "Holy Shakespeare, that falcon carp kicked your aardvark! What a biff."
Overly pleased with myself, I embark on my
Photo by Lindsey Siegle
Holy Shakespeare: Lindsey Siegle goes a week without swearing by making her own sentences.
first day. I've picked five words to avoid — they begin with sh, f, c, a and b. I quickly realize I'm in way over my head.
Beating the Sooners or Longhorns once is hard enough. Beating them over a twelve game schedule is infinitely more challenging.
Cee Lo Green's song "F*ck you" comes on the radio. I swear along (f). I receive an unfriendly email from a coworker. I swear (b). A kid on TV just blew a huge snot bubble. I swear (sh). Oh Shakespeare, I'm in trouble.
O'Connor doesn't take issue with the swear words themselves, but with the way they're used. "Most of the swearing that we do and hear is expressing something negative," he says.
Though I failed miserably in my cuss-free quest, I think O'Connor has a point. I'll keep swearing (why stop now?), but in the future, I'll try to stop being such a falcon negative biff about it.
GET SOME CULTURE // CAKE DECORATING > It's not all about fast food and beer pong
// LINDSEY SIEGELE
> It's not all about fast food and beer pong.
Aspiring bakers can decorate their cakes and eat them, too, at Michaels arts and crafts store, 3106 Iowa St. #210. Michaels offers weekly hands-on cake decorating classes with Anne Munsterman.
"It's a skill that'll never go out of style, because we're always going to love eating cake," she says.
There are classes for experienced decorators and novices. Sam Neurnberger, St. Louis senior, has yet to take a class, but as an avid Ace of Cakes viewer, she wants to learn. "I see a Tar Heels cake with 3D flames sticking out of it and I'm like, Damn! How can I do that?"
Cake Decorating I covers the basics of making icing, leveling cakes and frosting techniques. Cake Decorating II teaches students to design cakes, cover them with butter cream frosting and fondant and create basic flower arrangements. Cake Decorating III teaches students how to make more elaborate fondant and gum paste embellishments, including flowers and geometric designs.
Each course costs $45 for four classes, each lasting two hours once a week, usually on Sunday afternoons or Monday nights. Students also have to purchase a supply kit, which costs between $35 and $40, plus their own cake mixes from any grocery store.
Photo by Jennifer DiDonato Let them make cake. Michaels offers cake decorating classes for people wanting a sweet experience.
ask listen solve
You can find class schedules and course discount information at the store.
The new television deal is nice, no doubt about it. But if any of the former Big 12 north schools want to even sniff a conference title in the near future, they'll search for two more schools to join the conference, thus putting the divisions back in place. Memphis, Louisville and BYU have been thrown around as possibilities, and any of those schools would be a good fit for the Big 12, especially for every school not named Oklahoma or Texas.
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take pain, but the point stands.
Take 2007 for example. Kansas had its most successful season in school history, winning 12 games and capturing the FedEx Orange Bowl. Conveniently, Kansas didn't have to face Texas or Oklahoma that year. Could they have beaten either squade? Sure, they could have.
But the team they lost to—Missouri—lost handily to Oklahoma twice that year. With a round robin scheduling format, 2007 wouldn't have been the season Kansas football fans remember with such joy. Maybe that's harsh, but it's the truth. Texas and Oklahoma are on a different level than 99 percent of the country, and Kansas now gets to face both schools on a yearly basis.
four south schools, Baylor, Texas A&M, Texas Tech and Oklahoma State, have had to play Texas and Oklahoma every year anyway, this new format won't really affect them negatively, either. But for Missouri, Iowa State, Kansas and Kansas State, this is nothing but bad news from a scheduling standpoint. The extra millions of dollars from the new television contract should help ease the pain, but the point stands
the plate this season. Something happened to the Kansas batters Wednesday night though — every starter recorded a hit during a 24-hour hitting virus that infected the Jayhawks in their 11-2 win over Wichita State.
"When the first guy gets that RBI base hit, it makes it contagious throughout your whole dugout," coach Ritch Price said. "When one player clutches up, the next player looks forward to doing
came with runners on base.
Freshman Kaiana Eldredge got things started in the first inning, scoring from third off an unearned run after a Zac Elgie groundout. Kansas then tacked on another unearned run when sophomore Jake Marasco singled, knocking in senior left fielder Jimmy Waters from second after a throwing error by Wichita State shortstop Tyler Grimes.
"We get our first RBI base hit, and the next thing you know,
three straight hits scoring one run, including a double to right center by sophomore catcher Alex DeLeon.
The Jayhawks finished the inning with two walks and two singles to score two more runs. Keeping the pressure on, Kansas scored another run in the third off an RBI double hit by junior Jason Brunansky.
The atypical cushion provided by the bats helped the Kansas pitching staff relax kept the Shockers silent.
In the quick three-inning spurt, the Jayhaws had amassed seven runs before the Shockers knew
"It helps your pitching. There's no pressure," sophomore starter Thomas Taylor said. "Everyone's on top of their game after you're up 6-0. No one is going to be playing nervous; they just go right after them, and good things happen."
Taylor, pitching on a tired arm after starting Saturday, often kept
the seventh inning when Wichita scored one run off a single followed by a double.
Wednesday's effort led to the Jayhawks putting up season bests across the plate. Kansas rebounded nicely from a four-game skid, winning two of two against Wichita State, and gaining momentum heading into a crucial weekend series against Big 12 preseason favorite Oklahoma.
Edited by Erin Wilbert
Kansas to fight for spot in regional tournament
SOFTBALL
The team celebrates after a home run hit by senior catcher Brittany Hile in the double-header against Okla. The team finished conference play 2-16. They hope to combine their preseason record of 26-3 with victories in their final three regular season games.
BY HANNAH WISE
hwise@kansan.com
hwise@kansan.com
The softball team is left to rely upon three final non-conference games to bolster its regional tournament chances after weekend losses to Texas A&M, 3-2 and 13-0. The Jayhawks finished conference play with a 2-16 record, but are 31-22 overall.
The Big 12 conference has a total of 10 teams, eight of which are ranked in the top 25 nationally by either the ESPN.com/USA Softball poll or the USA Today Coaches' Poll and more often than not, both. It is an incredibly challenging conference to succeed in and the teams that are leading the standings - Texas, Missouri and Oklahoma State - are teams that do well year after year in the conference as well as in the NCAA Tournament.
"It's a tough conference," coach Megan Smith said. "Every team we play is ranked. It's extremely difficult. You don't get a break, but that's why you like to play in those big conferences."
The layhawks entered Big 12 play with a historic start to the season at 26-3. They won five of their six preseason tournaments, going
undefeated in four. The preseason start is what is helping the team's regional chances now, but the Jayhawks must win their final three games.
The final stretch begins tonight against Drake. The Bulldogs are 31-18 overall and 18-4 in the Missouri Valley Conference. Last week, the Jayhawks took home two victories against Wichita State (11-3 in six innings and 6-3 in the second game), another Missouri Valley competitor.
by competitor.
The layhawks have not lost their drive. They are motivated by the possibility of still making it to regionalals.
but the team.
But the team cannot lose it's focus, especially after last weekend's 13-0 loss. Coach Smith has said repeatedly throughout the season that they are going to focus on themselves and what they can do. That is what is going to carry the team through the end of the season.
"It's going to be an interesting finish, but we are going to be locked in and ready to play Drake," Smith said.
— waited by Jacque Weber
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