THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
PAGE 5A
THURSDAY, MAY 5,2011
opinion
Why does Facebook give the option to like my own comment? Of course I like my own comment, otherwise I wouldn't have said it.
apps.facebook.com/dailykansan
I chase vodka with muscle milk.
Five out of the eight teams in the NBA playoffs have a former Jayhawk ... It's amazing the things you find out when you're procrastinating.
To the white Durango parked next to me in the Daisy Hill parking lot ... LEARN HOW TO PARK, IDIOT. Thanks to you, I'm going to have to monkey crawl through the passenger seat to get in.
Skipped my first class today for America!
To the jerk who wrote in the FFA about smoking on campus, I just bought 100s, and I will be on campus alll day long.
Congratulations! You're not illiterate!
The death metal version of Friday is possibly the greatest song ever.
What's everybody's favorite food invention when they are high? Mine is Triple Cheese Mac'n Cheese with crushed Doritos and parmesan cheese. It's like God is speaking to
I know seven people who have had babies within the last four months. I'm tired of buying baby gifts, so I'm taking it upon myself to skip around handing out condoms to everyone. Condom fairy, FLY!
Always borrow money from pessimists. They won't expect to get paid back.
There is actually a game on Facebook called 'robot unicorn attack'. I hope people aren't getting paid for this crap.
I want to fill my body with so much tequila that I don't know my name on Thursday. You game?
Hey Anshutz instead of giving us free water and snacks, give us free Adderall.
I love seeing people in my classes that I haven't ever seen before the last couple of weeks of school ... Where were you?
Doesn't anyone believe in headphones anymore? I don't wanna listen to your crappy music.
"Hey guys remember Melissa Joan Hart?" - Melissa Joan Hart
Why does Mac N' Cheese taste so much better when they are shaped like things from various little-kid shows and movies?
You know you had a good wrestling match with your girlfriend when you come out with a bloody nose ... I love this girl.
Shampoo is better! I go on first and clean the hair!
Shout out to all the women with ugly boyfriends!
My roommate sleep talks. Best thing I've ever heard her say is,
"What is this? Taco beards?"
Shout out to the ugly boyfriends!
CULTURE
Please attempt to read my attempt at metafiction
The same week a registered nurse with clean sneakers assured me and my male comrades in Mrs. Prybolo's fifth-grade class that we shouldn't feel self-conscious about not being able to grow armpit hair, and consequentially became self-conscious of feeling self-conscious about my glacial progress at nursing a follicular thicket vaguely akin to the resigned mugs on our class' Civil War flash cards, I saw Scream.
Prior to that fateful night in my friend's unfinished basement, I thought myself privy to the secrets of bronzed moviemakers. Our babysitter had given my sister and I a general introduction to the genre—the Halloweenes, the Fridays, the Nightmares—and we had developed a sibling dogma of our own: never back out of a room; don't look away from a mirror; the archives, damn it, the archives! But, as I soon learned with Scream, the Teen-People-faced students of Woodsborro High were similarly in the know and that didn't save them. This changed everything for us. Everyone is self-aware! Anyone is vulnerable! We need Caller ID!
Years later, with puberty behind me like an awkward conversation. I started to
BY MATTHEW MARSAGLIA
mrsartsagliae.jksan.com
pepper essays with big words, some of which were actually small, like meta — a word I initially connected to my first memory of the referential Scream characters. And years later, I find myself lost in the credits of "Scream 4", cotton-mouthed and scared out of my mind that the scariest part of "Scream 4" was realizing the implacable insistence of modern metaness may be here for good (which is a dramatic way of saying meta-ness is too overwhelming and needs to be taken in other directions).
Or so it seems
I can support meta-fiction; it forces the audience to consider the obscure
line between reality and abstraction, allows geeks to revel in their encyclopedic knowledge of storytelling, gives the screenwriter a stronger voice within the movie, and has been the MO of many greats like Woody Allen, David Lynch, and Charlie Kaufman. The convention gets frustrating, however, when its limits are tested by stacking meta on top of meta on top of meta as "Scream 4" does by starting with a movie inside a movie inside a movie.
In this way the convention, which was originally endearing, humbling, and stimulating, is reduced to gimmickry that, although initially comedic, quickly turns to an annoyingly clever and overly italicized confrontation with the idea that the relationship between life and art is, at best, complicated — something as obvious by now as Kim Kardashian and the effects of smoking. Meta-ness, the trademark of Craven's slasher series, is relegated to cliché in the latest installment with references to the predictability of its referentiality. And this was the scary part; when addressing clichés becomes cliché, (props to "Scary Movie")
The problem may be me not being able
to get over the idea that metafiction in cinema has become a hip way to ironically mock being embarrassed of recognizing genre, but it may also be that either 1) screenwriters are having a hard time exploring metafiction without in someway adopting this stacking approach that can be often misused, or 2) that Hollywood — the whole town, from its coke parties to its cat ladies — will only take genre conforming scripts, cash cows and stars.
The more trying problem is likely the latter, and that problem probably won't be solved anytime soon.
But the former appears to have a similar fate.
Ultimately this fear is based in the belief that meta can't be approached other than how "Scream" uses meta and that's a limited view, I admit it. But when library searches turn up dry and multiple scholars from different schools respond with various forms of "I wish I knew," things look pretty grim.
Marsaglia is a senior in English from Naperville, Ill.
More needs to be done after bin Laden's death
The past two days I have seen my home country's image tarnish ruthlessly and that is why I feel the need to speak up. U.S. agents killed Osama bin Laden in Pakistan. The al-Qaida leader was responsible for great suffering; I do not mourn his death – I do not celebrate it, either. I am worried about my country's security now, more than ever. Dread lingers over me: Pakistan may have to pay the price for this.
A decade ago al-Qaida massacred nearly 3,000 Americans. The statistic not known is that since the subsequent U.S. invasion of Afghanistan, terrorists have killed nearly five times that number of people in Pakistan. Before 2002, suicide bombing was a word unknown to Pakistaniis. Now, suicide attacks by Taliban/al-Qaida, have slaughtered over 34,000 Pakistani civilians, policemen and army personnel. The annual number of Pakistani fatalities from terrorism has surged from less than 200 in 2003 to more than 3,000 in 2009. Bin Laden declared war on Pakistan, too.
Despite all of that, American media is having a field day. The topic: Pakistan and its supposed support for al-Qaida. All that may make for great rhetoric but makes no sense when one asks why Pakistan would care about the group that has killed thousands of Pakistanis and destroyed all kinds
Pakistan is not a country that accommodates and hides mass murderers. Pakistanis just want to live a tranquil life. If Osama's death means America can begin to withdraw its forces from Pakistan and Afghanistan and that we can somehow rediscover peace, then one day Pakistani are going to celebrate, too. But until the continued al-Qaida/Taliban operations all around the world, American drones killing civilians in my country, the norm of racial profiling of American-Muslims, human right injustices in Abu Ghraib and Guantanamo Bay and all such heinous acts are put to end, I do not have a reason to celebrate.
of infrastructure and investment? Pakistan was the world's second fastest growing economy in 2005; now, its economy is in the dumps. Are Pakistanis really going to bring this upon themselves? Yes, Osama was found in Abbotabad, but who is to say he stayed in one location. For ten years? Please. We also know that this operation wouldn't have been possible without the support of Pakistani forces. Pakistan is not the perpetrator; it is the ally and the victim
Eman Siddiqui is a junior in architecture from Karachi, Pakistan.
Is there a need for gender neutral bathrooms at the University?
Vote now at KANSAN.COM/POLLS
CARTOON
I WISH I COULD VOTE FOR THIS GUY!
Nicholas Sambaluk
RELIGION
Take time for yourself and God during this stressful time of the year
Everyone has that one friend who is always stressed out. They are involved in so many activities you can't name them all and you wonder how it is they get everything done without looking like a chicken running around with its head cut off. I have a roommate who is always on the move like this. We never see her. She is always stressed with everything that she has to get done for the next day.
With final approaching, and only twenty more days until freedom,
it seems like every college student experiences this whirlwind of stress.
Late night studying and last minute projects and papers to turn in can
make these last 20 days seem like an eternity.
BY ALLISON BOND abond@kansan.com
In the midst of all the chaos that surrounds this last home stretch it is important to slow down and take time for yourself. Taking time to focus on faith is just one of several ways to slow down and not let the
stresses of finals get to you.
I admit there are times when all I can do is pray to God, "Just help me get through this day." However, my faith upbringing has taught me to enjoy the simplities around me while also working hard. Enjoying the simple things in life, such as the joy of community, nature and friendship, are some of the things that can help slow down the chaos. In the midst of stress and finals it can be harder to notice these due to studying. However, if taken the time to notice them, these simple things can greatly improve the awareness of God in your life. The days when I take time to thank God for all the
joys in my life are the days I love to remember.
It is critical that we take time for the important things in life. This is different for everyone. It can be spending time with family or friends, reading, exercising, faith, quiet time for yourself, or just pursuing something you enjoy doing. Don't let the chaos of finals let you forget the joy of taking time for yourself.
Bond is a junior from Andover in journalism and religious studies.
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