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Two years later, the couple still has minor bedroom issues, but have also realized that sometimes sleeping separately is the only solution to a good night's sleep.
Brittney Raybern wakes up in the middle of the night to find her boyfriend snoring loudly and hogging all the blankets, leaving her cold and annoyed. She stares wide-eyed at the ceiling tiles for a good hour before falling back asleep.
In the beginning of a relationship, people enjoy the physical closeness of their partner and tend to always want to sleep next to each other, even if that means putting up with their sleeping habits. As a relationship continues, however, it's important for couples to notice if their partner is robbing them of a good night's sleep by tossing, turning, grumbling or stealing the covers. According to the National Sleep Foundation's 2005 "Sleep in America" poll, 77 percent of America's partnered adults say their partner has a sleep-related problem; the most common problem is snoring.
WHY SHARE A BED?
Couples often sleep next to each other because they think bed sharing is a ritual for commitment. Jeff Moran, KU associate professor of history, says that sleeping in the
same bed is a wide-known tradition from the past, and sharing beds with the entire family was common. "There's a different approach to marriage and relationships these days though," Moran says. "It's intimacy between two people, and two people only, and that doesn't always have to be shown in the bedroom."
If couples aren't sleeping well next to each other, it's rarely a problem if they are showing their affection in other ways. Moran suggests snuggling with each other for a little while
OTHER ARRANGEMENTS:
In fact, not getting enough sleep is a bigger threat to intimacy than sleeping separately. Sleeping soundly benefits people on all levels. Less sleep can make people irritable, increase their stress, and even affect their performance in the bedroom. Dennis Dailey, KU professor emeritus and sex therapist, says that severe sleep loss can have all kinds of psychological consequences. "Getting good sleep makes acting on our libido a lot more enjoyable-it's a contributor," Dailey says.
People tend to believe that sexual intimacy diminishes in couples who are sleeping apart, but couples who have a strong bond can still be connected in a variety of ways, even if they are sleeping alone at night.
before departing to separate bedrooms. This way people can still have that intimacy that they crave as well as having a good night's rest. "Physical closeness breeds emotional closeness; it's psychology of touch, not just sex," Moran says. It's also perfectly fine to fall asleep in the same bed, but with the agreement that if one partner's sleeping habits interrupt the other's sleep, it's OK to move to the sofa or another spare bedroom. According to the National Sleep Foundation, one in every four American couples sleeps in separate bedrooms.
Couples should try to stay touchy-feely throughout the day if they know that they'll be hugging their pillow that night instead of their partner. A great way to do this is to cuddle while watching TV before bedtime, hold hands while taking a walk or steal a kiss while waiting in line at the grocery store. "Sleeping apart doesn't really lead to greater desire with couples since they are still connecting in ways like these," Dailey says. "There is the fact, though, that absence will make the heart grow founder."
Because they live together, Brittney Raybern, Lawrence senior, and her boyfriend make it a point to sleep next to each other, but they also have a separate room with a bed if one of them gets annoyed by the other's nighttime habits.
Photo illustration by Aaron Harris
A bed apart: Sleeping apart can help a couple get a good night's rest without risking intimacy.
Getting less sleep could be more harmful to a couple's intimacy.
COUPLE SLEEPING POSITIONS
Common sleep positions for you and your partner:
THE LEG LOOP // You're both on your stomachs, sides or backs and one of you has a leg draped over the other's leg.
THE SPOON // You're both on your sides, touching and facing the same direction.
THE BOOTY BOND // You're on your sides facing away from each other but touching butto-butt.
THE REGAL POSE // He sprawls king-like on his back while she coies up to him with her head positioned directly on his chest.
<www.relationship-love.com>
"We sleep with completely different blankets because there's no way that I'll be covered throughout the night if we don't," Raybern says. Also, the couple doesn't feel the need to go to bed at the exact same time together. "He goes to bed early and I'm a definite night owl, so I usually just crawl into bed later on while he's fast asleep." Raybern says.
People who do sleep apart should indulge themselves in romantic rituals as often as they can. "All couples, whether they sleep in the same bed or not, should make it a point to have sex regularly." Moran says. "How often this should happen is a matter of negotiation," Moran says.
Sleeping separately isn't for everyone, especially if you and your partner are amazingly compatible while you are asleep. However, if there is incompatibility and you've tried everything to cure the situation, then maybe you would want to think of sleeping in separate beds. Besides, the most important aspect here is your health and you can't have good health without good sleep.
spaced across her lower back, the fuzzy borders of residue and lint that days-old Band-Aids leave after removal. But these aren't from Band-Aids. Each square represents a patch adhered to her skin, applying the stimulant methylphenidate to boost alertness, energy and focus. A junior in architecture, Kerwin hoped to bend the limits of time, or at least of her own body, to meet a project deadline. The patches kept her awake for 78 hours straight.
Lizzy Alonzi, a junior in computer science, spent about 30 hours each week on homework for just one programming class. Grueling late nights spent staring at screens in Eaton Hall's computer lab wore down her mental and emotional health every week.
"It's too much," said Alonzi. "It's brutal."
Steven Heger had been dating Erin Brown for six years when he began building Formula-style cars for Jayhawk Motorsports, the University's automotive racing team and capstone project for
"Erin says I love the car more than her." Heger said.
Here and at other universities across the country, time-intensive programs require students to work
mechanical engineering seniors. He works 12 hours a day on the car, Monday through Friday, leaving little time for Erin, now his fiancee.
Illustration by Kirk Whit
Studio, the class and classroom where design models are built plays a demanding role in the world of architecture students.
"I started hallucinating," Kerwin said of her 78 hours without sleep. "It was before a review, where you take everything you completed before a project — site plans, floor plans and so on. Those are the times you get little sleep in studio."
The patches Kerwin used were prescribed to her as an ADHD medication. Its makers recommend one per day for nine hours. She applied a fresh patch every eight hours, for three days.
50- to 100-hour weeks preparing for careers where such commitments are either compensated or illegal. Along the way, students must choose daily between their professional futures and their own health.Often, they endanger both.
When you work 74 hours every week, something has to give.
That semester, Kerwin worked at studio most nights from 6 p.m. until 2 a.m., or "around eight hours a night, five days a week." That's 40 hours — for most, a full workweek. The actual class for Kerwin's studio met three times each week for four
They learn, work, eat and often sleep there in an attempt to bring design ideas to life as scaled-down buildings.
and a half hours each class. That's 13 and a half hours. On rough weeks, Kerwin would pull two "all nighters," working straight through until morning. That's 12 more. Adding it up, she often worked 65 hours per week, all for one class. If Kerwin opted to attend her non-studio classes instead of squeezing in a nap, that number rose to 74 hours.
But when you work 74 hours every week, something has to give.
INDEX
With little time to cook healthy meals, she ate mostly junk food, preferably Cheez-Its. She rarely exercised or maintained friendships with students outside of studio. She drank so many Rockstar energy drinks to stay up one semester that, as a joke, she began pinning them on her studio's wall. There were more than 100 cans in all. The high caffeine in energy drinks causes dehydration, and dehydration causes kidney stones, which Kerwin developed in following months.
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Highway speed limits may rise because of new bill
Gov. Sam Brownback signed a bill that will allow multi-lane highways to raise speed from 70 mph to 75 mph.
Annual football spring game set for Saturday
FOOTBALL | 10A
The coaches will decide if this game will be in a traditional game format or a less-formal defense versus offense game.
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