WEDNESDAY, JULY 16, 2008 News WWW.KANSAN.COM THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
19
》SEX DRIVES
Sexual desire 101: It's more than meets the eye
BY BRIEUN SCOTT
bscott@kansan.com
Temperature hot, sweaty palms and increased heart rate. They're all things people feel when noticing
that particularly attractive man or woman. It is an intense feeling of longing that creates a sexual appetite in humans.
What causes such symptoms? Try sexual desire.
Some answered the question "How do you know you're feeling sexual desire?" with a blush or a laugh.
"My stomach turns to butterflies and I blush," Camie Quilt, graduate student, said.
two concepts: interest and drive. He said interest focused on what one liked and with whom one is interested in; and drive was the energy to act on that interest.
"It's the desire to have a physical and emotional connection with someone to take the relationship to the next level."
ASHLEY SAKUMURA Fort Hayes State sophomore
"I get modest around the person because you don't want them to know you have that urge for them," Kellen Mahone, Lawrence resident, said.
Researchers have found that
"Tingly, just giddy — happy like," Andrea Koch, Lawrence junior, said.
"I can't stop smiling," Ashley Sakumura, Fort Hays State sophomore said. "I'm just excited to spend time with that someone."
there's more to sexual desire than physical attractiveness. Different influences such as the emotional. and psychological also play a role in sexual desire - although the physical is a big factor.
According to "Disorders of
Sexual Desire," by sex therapist Helen Kaplan, "he may feel genital sensations or he may feel vaguely sexy, interest in sex, open to sex or even just restless."
The brain plays a role in sexual desire as well. Some researchers have found that it isn't one particular area, but the neuro-path way in the brain. Detweiler said the brain as a whole contributed to sexual desire, but he believed hormones were a key player.
THE LOWS OF SEXUAL DESIRE
There are several factors that can hinder or encourage a person's sexual desire.
Detweiler said that stress hormones such as cordorzone and adrenaline impinged on hormones that one needs for sexual desire. He said it also could be used to increase hormone drive.
He said negative dissociations such as abuse, rape, assault or an unhealthy relationship would also affected one's desire.
"Some people use sex to mitigate stress," Detweiler said.
"Anything paired negatively with sex equates negative desire," Detweiler said.
He said for college students, a bad relationship could be the problem. The dynamics of the relationship would cause high drama, be controlling or demanding and end the relationship with resentment and anger.
Other negative influences are parental anxiety, religion and even sexual desire itself. Detweiler said the levels of sexual desire were different for everyone.
"One who wants more could pester or make the other's drive go down," he said.
MYTHS OF SEXUAL DESIRE:
IT'S ABOUT
MORE THAN SEX
We've all heard them, the myths of the "whys and why not" of sex. Unfortunately, it's the same myths that have an effect on sexual desire.
Detweiler said when it comes to myths, he'd heard most of them. He said he heard myths from men's blue balls to a woman's worth equating to beauty.
He said the most damaging myth was one that pertained to sex being limited.
"When we limit sex to genitals and intercourse, we become over-focused on orgasm," Detweiler said.
He said sexual desire was more than intercourse; it's about tenderness, sensuality, caring, respect and alternative ways to be together.
"When people limit what we call sex, they limit the ways people can relate," Detweiler said. "Interest and drive don't get to flourish."
Detweiler said sexual desire was also the longing for eroticism: to be seen, to be kissed and to be wanted. He said most people just want to be wanted, just to flirt.
"People want to know that they have the capacity to influence other people in my environment," Detweiler said.
Something close and intimate, an emotional and physical connection is what most people desire to have.
SEXUAL DESIRE...
JUST LET IT BE
There are times when we try to downplay our desires and emotions and set them on the back burner, but Detweiler said to just let it be.
"You're not human if you don't experience sexual desire," he said.
Detweiler said that condemning sexuality was unhealthy.
"If you put lid on desire, it goes out sideways," Detwieler said.
He said finding the right channels for desire could promote healthy sexuality. He said if people welcomed desire, it led to positive integration.
He said emotions could confuse what one considered sexual desire, and a hurtful relationship could make people focus on the physical in the relationship. Moreover, Detweiler said that sexual desire was very complex. He said people should have a healthy self-concept and attitude toward sex and sexuality by respecting the self and holding out for relationships that are capable of being close, intimate relationships with a knowledge of sex.
Edited by Rustin Dodd
WHAT IS SEXUAL DESIRE EXACTLY?
"Just when you're physically attracted to someone, you just want to get a little closer to them," Koch said.
"It's the desire to have a physical and emotional connection with someone — to take the relationship to the next level," Sakumura said.
Dennis Detweiler, sex therapist said sexual desire was made up of
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