WEDNESDAY, JULY 16, 2008 News WWW.KANSAN.COM THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
13
>> ABSTINENCE
Students decide sex can wait till after marriage
BY REBEKAH SCAPERLANDA
rscaperlanda@kansan.com
Dr. Jennifer Roback-Morse, author of "Smart Sex," said that sex was more than just a recreational activity. She said it had significant social and moral significance, thus, the reason many choose to wait until marriage.
Photo Illustration by Mindy Ricketts
Smart sex is protected sex, or so says Jennifer Roback-Morse, Ph.D. author of "Smart Sex," who challenges her readers to move beyond protection from STDs and pregnancy and to think in terms of protecting the whole person. And, this means abstinence until marriage.
"We have the idea that sex is a recreational activity with no moral or social significance, and this is simply untrue," Roback-Morse said.
People tend to attach themselves to their sex partners, she said, despite claims of not wanting to be involved.
"I think that too many teens and young adults aren't mature enough to handle the bonds that are created," Nesbitt said. "When you're married, it would be so much more secure and so much more appropriate and satisfying."
"Studies have found that having multiple sex partners puts teenaged girls at risk for depression," Roback-Morse said.
Nesbitt said that because of the sexualized culture, people were often shocked that she was waiting. She said people tell her she was cheating herself out of enjoying something, but Nesbitt disagreed and believed a reason for waiting was to not cheat herself or her future husband.
This idea of attachment is part of the reason Bethany Nesbitt, Overland Park senior, decided to wait until she is married to have sex.
Sam Weinstein, Overland Park senior, said choosing to wait until marriage meant battling temptation. He said coming to the decision on his own to wait helped him stay abstinent.
"It's easy to assume that someone who is not sexually active has no sexual drive. That is false, a dudes a dude," Weinstein said.
he would have lost a lot of great relationships if they had become sexual. He said that no matter how you approach the situation, there is a bond that was formed between people when they have sex, intended or unintended.
Weinstein said he was very thankful he has controlled himself, because
Lauren Cunningham, Overland Park senior, said she wanted her marriage to be based on a deep friendship. She said there were religious reasons, but the logic behind waiting was non-religious. She said part of the reason she wanted to wait to have sex was because she wanted the man she married to respect and value her for more than just her sexuality. Cunningham said sex before marriage would cause the relationship to be based on the physical.
"I know when I date someone, they will be respectful of me," Cunningham said. "I don't think girls hold guys to high enough standards."
Roback-Morse said that whether protection — "smart sex" — should
involve condoms or waiting until marriage depends on what would bring happiness and fulfillment in the long run. If sex was merely a consumer good, it could be consumed the way one consumes a Big
Mac. People's ultimate happiness, she said, depends upon committed lifelong relationships and consumer sex damages our ability to form these healthy bonds.