WEDNESDAY, JUNE 18,2008 News WWW.KANSAN.COM
THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
19
Say no to drunk dialing
5. It's always an ex or someone equally as inappropriate.
Hashing the past with an ex when your sober is rough. But in an invincible intoxicated state, two in the morning sounds like the perfect opportunity to clear the air.
If the ex doesn't answer, there is the unfortunate possibility of placing calls to the parents. Jordan Gormley, 18, Hiawatha knows this first hand.
After placing a call to his friend's mother, she grounded her child from his car for three weeks.
4. Public displays of emotion will never be kosher
An emotional phone call will only land you in the corner of a crowded bar, crying. It's great for others in the bar, and possibly one of my favorite things to see at the other end of an establishment, but not for you. On top of that, going out is a good time; don't turn it into a bad one with an inebriated phone call.
Books:
'Flames'
3. It's always embarrassing
After four years of college and just as many cell phones, I'm still embarrassed about calls I've placed in early morning hours. Here is why it is embarrassing...
2. The person you called probably remembers what you said
bursts with dark humor, witty essays
Child abuse and neglect are tragic, awful crimes, and not at all a laughing matter, unless you're David Sedaris reminiscing about your childhood. Sedaris' latest collection of essays, titled, "When You Are Engulfed in Flames," range from a white-trash babyssitter who forced him to scratch her back for hours (he's still traumatized), to a disappointing encounter with his first dingo. His long suffering boyfriend, Hugh, only shakes his head and sighs at all of Sedaris' obsessive-compulsive ticks. The dark humor he uses to depict humanity can be appreciated by anyone who
has encountered American tourists in Europe and those who try to quit smoking. "Flames" more closely reflects Sedaris' real age of 51, than his past two books, but it is a necessary addition to his collection of memoirs.
WHEN YOU ARE ENGAGED IN FLAVORS
It's usually the case that the night you went out, is the night the phone call receiver stayed in. A key determinant to know when to hang up the phone is when the conversation starts with, "Oh, were you sleeping?"
1. You don't remember what you said
It's common sense that when alcohol is in your system, memory isn't a factor in your life any longer. But don't worry; the next day a multitude of people will be eager to let you in on your antics.
Victoria Grandsoult, 21, Derby, has
a habit of drunk dialing her exes for a late night hook up. Unfortunately, she's reminded of her action the next day in her ex's beds.
"They think were back together and its awkward to come clean and be like, 'No'Grandsoult said.
Christine D'Amico
Movies: 'Happening is just plain hapless
Director M. Night Shyamalan has made a name for himself by throwing outrageous plot twists into his films. Unfortunately, Shyamalan avoids throwing a curveball in "The Happening," a movie that could use some wholesale adjustments.
For starters, Shyamalan could ditch the contrived dialogue, cut loose his group of laughably poor actors and modify his film's ridiculous premise.
Mark Wahlberg is decent as Elliott Moore, a teacher who grapples with marital problems while trying to avoid a deadly natural phenomenon. Zooey Deschanel plays Moore's disgruntled wife. The combination of bland dialogue and Deschanel's incompetent performance leaves the viewer rooting against her character's survival within the film's first 30 minutes.
Though Wahlberg stands out by delivering the film's only passable acting performance, his mere presence in the film disappoints after his great work in "The Departed."
There isn't much to the storyline in "The Happening," forcing Shyamalan to tack on a hackneyed
and forced environmental message. The film — billed as the director's most frightening work — leaves no lasting effect, although the prospect of repeat viewings is quite terrifying.
Shyamalan's career arc has trended down since 1999's "The Sixth Sense." At this point, his career is in need of a creative plot twist.
Asher Fusco