University Dailv Kansas / Wednesday June 26, 1991
11
Keith Thorpe/Special to the KANSAN
Damaged aircraft
Airport workers examine the wreckage of a Cessna Skyhawk damaged when hurricane-force winds ripped through Kansas
City's Downtown Airport. Nine aircraft were damaged or destroyed Friday afternoon during a thunderstorm.
KU students juggle marriage, school
By Lori Wood
Special to the Kansan
Like many students this summer,
21-year-old Daron Sarver of lola is
taking a couple of classes, writing
a book and soon will be
studying for finals.
But in addition to these often stressful activities, Server will be writing thank you cards and making final honeymoon plans.
Server and his fiancee, Crystal Mitchell, 19, who lives in Iola, will be married Aug. 10.
He is not alone. Every year college students get married before they graduate. Last fall, the University of Kansas listed 3,573 married students but did not know how many were undergraduates.
Frank DeSalvo, director of counseling and psychological services, said mixing marriage with school work could be detrimental.
"Husbands, for example, expect certain things from their wives, and I'm not just meaning things like cooking or sexual relations," he said.
"They expect their wives to behave in certain ways that are sometimes in conflict with their roles as students.
"For example, he may need to talk about a problem, while she may have to work on a big project. A choice has to be made."
Lydia Schmidt, 24, has experienced this conflict firsthand. Schmidt, Lawrence senior, married Kevin Schmidt, 26, also of Lawrence on his wife's behalf for four years. Schmidt said her studies sometimes were a problem.
"I think it's kind of hard being in school and being married, especially in the evenings," she said. "It's hard to wake up early because I want to be with Kevin."
For the Schmidt, the decision to get married was not a difficult one because the two had lived together for two years.
"After having known each other for so long, we knew what we were getting into," she said. "Since we were living together, our roles were
already established, and besides, we were in love."
DeSalvo said poor finances also caused problems for young married couples.
"There is often some kind of financial crunch, which is not necessarily a bad thing," he said. "But combined with the stress that comes from the new roles of husband and wife, a poor financial situation can be bad."
Sarver said he anticipated financial difficulties after he was married. Mitchell, his fiancee, has completed two semesters at Allen County Community College and will work full time while Sarver earns a degree.
"I will be going to school fulltime, and Crystal doesn't have a job in the Lawrence area," he said. "I'll work at our first few months together."
things that may cause conflict," he said. "He may like to play basketball with the guys. That may come into touch with being with the wife or studying."
DeSalvo said collegiate activities such as going to bars with friends or playing sports could cause problems in the marriage.
But with all of the potential problems, some students still get married in the fall.
"A 20-year-old male college student, for example, likes to do certain
Because Server attends classes in Lawrence and Mitchell lives in Iola, the couple's separation led to their decision to wed.
"Being away from each other for extended periods of time was hard on both of us." Sarver said. "So we should be best to get married now."
DeSalve said that although com- difficul, it was not necessary hard.
"Depending on the couple's life experiences and level of maturity, marriage can be difficult," he said. But sometimes the marriage commitment factor in the relationship, so marriage can be a positive thing too."
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