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HAWK TOPICS
1
RADIO HOST DON IMUS IS FIRED FROM HIS POPULAR SHOW FOLLOWING THE CONTROVERSY SURROUNDING HIS USE OF RACIAL EPITHETS.
Imus's time slot will be filled with uncensored hip-hop music for the foreseeable future.
2 FACULTY AND CLERGY AT SOUTHERN METHODIST UNIVERSITY IN DALLAS ARE WORKING TO BLOCK PLANS TO BUILD THE GEORGE W. BUSH PRESIDENTIAL LIBRARY ON THE UNIVERSITY'S CAMPUS.
Critics say the planned multiple-story building is a tremendous waste of space and energy, considering the library will mostly contain old issues of Sports Illustrated and Maxim.
A NEW STUDY REVEALS THAT STUDENTS WHO TOOK PART IN SEXUAL ABSTINENCE PROGRAMS WERE JUST AS LIKELY TO HAVE SEX AS THOSE WHO DIDN'T.
This is surprising, considering the overwhelming success of the similarly themed "Just Say No" antidrug campaign.
5
AUTHOR KURT VONNEGUT DIES AT THE AGE OF 84.
If there was any justice in this world, Paris Hilton would be the other member of Vonnegut's duprass. If you don't know what that means, for God's sake, read Cat's Cradle already.
3 RIOT POLICE IN MOSCOW BEAT AND DETAIN PROTESTORS AS THOUSANDS OF RUSSIANS DEMONSTRATE AGAINST THE ADMINISTRATION OF PRESIDENT VLADIMIRPUTIN.
Russian historians praised Putin's restraint and leniency in putting down the crowd, calling the beatings a "positive step forward" from traditional Russian crowd-control tactics.
6 DNA PATERNITY TESTS PROVE THAT PHOTOGRAPHER LARRY BIRKHEAD IS THE FATHER OF ANNA NICOLE SMITH'S INFANT DAUGHTER.
REPORTS SUGGEST MICHAEL JORDAN'S DIVORCE FROM HIS WIFE OF 18 YEARS MAY COST THE FORMER BASKETBALL SUPERSTAR MORE THAN $150 MILLION.
The discovery makes Birkhead the first winner of Fox's hit reality show, I Want to Impregnate a Drugged-Out Multi-Millionaire Ex-Stripper, in which Birkhead beat out thousands of other contestants.
9 THE NORTH CAROLINA ATTORNEY GENERAL DROPS THE RAPE CHARGES AGAINST THREE MEMBERS OF THE Duke LACROSSE TEAM.
To celebrate, the Duke lacrosse team threw a rowdy house party, this time with strippers who "know how to keep their dirty little mouths shut."
Jordan said he'd have been willing to pay a lot more if it meant he'd never have to spend another "family night" watching Grey's Anatomy with his wife.
8 LEGENDARY HAWAIIAN CROONER DON HO DIES AT THE AGE OF 76.
Perhaps the most unfortunate obituary title ever, considering recent events: "Nappy-headed Ho passes
Ho passes away at 76."
10 PRINCE WILLIAM, SECOND IN LINE TO THE BRITISH THRONE, BREAKS UP WITH KATE MIDDLETON, ENDING THEIR 4-YEAR RELATIONSHIP.
Following the rich British royal tradition of failed relationships, the prince had Middleton beheaded and stuck her head on a pike on London Bridge.
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Chris Raine
04.19.2007 JAYPLAY <17