WESCOE wit
Girl 1: Do you think the limo driver will come back with us tonight and get in the hot tub?
Girl 2: I don't know if they do that.
Girl 1: Well, I'm sure we could figure something out. I bet he's done it before.
Girl 1: Who are you calling?
Girl 2: Your butt!
Girl 1: So does that mean
Girl 1: when it rings I fart?
Girl: So I get to take care of my friend's dog this summer while he's gone for a month.
Guy: Oh, that's kind of like me. While my roommate's in Florida, I get to take care of my other roommate, Megan.
Girl 1: That kind of reminds me of my sweater.
Girl 2: Except yours isn't sparkly.
Guy 1: (turns to Girl 1) And yours is more slutty.
**Guy:** Did you eat all my donuts?
**Girl:** Maybe.
**Guy:** I will smother you in your sleep with glazed donuts!
**Girl:** Well, too bad you can't,
'cause I ate them all!
Girl 1: What's your biggest fear?
Girl 2: Oh, if my parents only knew...
Laura Evers
WHAT it's LIKE TO RUN A MARATHON
Nicole Simms will compete in her second marathon in less than a year April 16 in Boston. Less than a year and a half ago, Simms, St. Louis sophomore, couldn't run for more than 10 minutes without stopping and can now complete the 26.2-mile race.
Simms played sports in high school, but says she was always bigger than the other girls. During winter break of her freshman year at KU, Simms began running to lose weight. Within three months, she says, she was hooked on running and had lost more than 30 pounds.
After running for only nine months, Simms
PHOTO COURTESY OF NICOLE SIMMS
competed in the Lewis and Clark Marathon in St. Charles, Mo., in September 2006. Going into the marathon, Simms says, she didn't know if she'd even be able to finish, but she placed 41st out of more than 1,600 racers with a time of 3:24:58. At mile 23, she says, she hit a wall, but a girl Simm's babysat ran up to her holding a sign that read,"I hope you sleep when you're done." This little bit of encouragement was all she needed to keep going, she says.
"After I finished, I just sat in my bathtub and devoured a batch of cookies my grandmother made me," she says."I was so sweaty and I had chafed in places I never thought possible."
Simms's time was fast enough to qualify her for the prestigious Boston Marathon, the world's oldest. At first it was hard to find a balance between school and running 60 to 70 miles a week for training, Simms says, but she's found a routine that keeps her on track whenever she's tempted to skip a run. Simms advises runners who want to complete a marathon that they need to be dedicated, have extreme willpower, pay attention to nutrition and have a superhuman threshold for pain.
"Anyone can run," she says, "but it takes something else to be a marathon."
Katrina Mohr
Nicole Simms, St. Louis sophomore, ran her first marathon in September 2006 and plans to run her second this month.
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