PEOPLE
BIGS AND LITTLES
Emily Bannwarth visits her Little, Cassidy, at Pinckney Elementary School. Rocky, Jay McMillan's Little, plays flag football. McMillan has been Rocky's Big through the Big Brothers Big Sisters program for a year.
PHOTOS/JON GOERING
Sibling relationships are always tough, but some students volunteer to take on the challenge.
by Jennifer Denny
Strolling into the Kansas Union after class in white tennis shoes, khaki shorts, a black T-shirt and a backward baseball cap, Jay McMillan, Olathe senior, should be the epitome of cool to any 8-year-old boy. But for Rocky, a second grader at Schwegler Elementary. McMillan is an unlikely friend.
McMillan and Rocky have known each other for almost a year, ever since McMillan signed up to become a Big Brother through the Big Brothers Big Sisters program of Douglas County after his older sister encouraged him to begin volunteering.
"I could learn from them as well as they could learn from me." McMillan says.
Every Thursday evening, McMillan picks Rocky up from the Boys and Girls Club where Rocky stays after school. After making the drive back to his apartment with his young friend, McMillan is content to play Guitar Hero until the duo takes a break for a healthy home-cooked meal. The three hours they spend together usually pass quickly as they play video games, visit the skate park or make homemade donuts. When their time together is up, McMillan takes Rocky home, where his two biological siblings
are waiting.
"I like the same things a little 8-year-old does," McMillan says with a laugh over the activities he and Rocky do together. "It may not be enriching all the time, but it gets him away from his other life."
Rocky is one of more than 300 children who are matched with a Big Brother or Big Sister in Douglas County, McMillan describes his "Little" as reserved and hard to read, but intelligent, which frustrated McMillan at first because the child's displaced anger was an obstacle to overcomebeforetheycouldbuild a friendship. McMillan doesn't hesitate to say that taking care of children can be difficult, but he says this experience has taught him how to deal with people from different demographics, like Rocky, who is half Caucasian, half Native American, and comes from a poor, single-parent home.
The most frustrating moments for this "Big" come when Rocky seems unappreciative of the time he's carved out of his day to spend volunteering, McMillan says. Despite this difficulty, he recommends volunteering for the Big Brothers Big Sisters program, but only to some people — those with patience and sensitivity."You need to not
have expectations going into it, except that you're going to hang out with a little kid. It's not just a résumé builder," he says.
Sarah Rooney, "Case Manager Extraordinaire" at Big Brothers Big Sisters of Douglas County, according to her business card, knows being a Big is an intense commitment. She looks for volunteers who are mature and grounded, but also creative and engaging with children. "Kids don't like boring," she says.
Teachers have taken note of this program and talk about the difference it makes in the classroom. Jane Phelps, a fifth grade teacher at Schwegler Elementary, 2201 Ousdahl Rd., has multiple students in her classroom who participate in either the community-based program where the Bigs and Littles participate in activities outside of school or a site-based program in which the Big visits the Little's school weekly for lunch or after-school activities.
"Having a Big Brother or Big Sister is one of the few highlights in many of our students' lives," Phelps says. "They look forward each week to spending time with this favorite person. Just having someone by themselves, to do something even just a little special, is a rare treat. Playing a
game, going on a walk, eating lunch or just talking takes on a whole different importance with a Big."
Compared to McMillan's match, Emily Bannwarth, Independence junior, has a Little made in heaven. But it wasn't always that way. After a bad first experience with the program ended at the beginning of the school year, Bannwarth was still interested in being a Big, so she began the process of finding a new Little this semester. She is now matched with Cassidy,
a fun and spunky 9-year-old in the third grade at Pinckney Elementary School, 810 W. Sixth St.
Bannwarth likes the one-on-one interaction she gets with the child each week and finds it easy to develop a lasting relationship. "She likes me. She's excited when I come," Bannwarth says. "She seems to appreciate that she has a Big — she actually cares to have one. She shows interest and she's full of energy. Plus, her smile is contagious."
Because Bannwarth participates in the site-based program as a Big in School, she visits Cassidy every Thursday at her elementary school. The pair eats lunch in the cafeteria and usually play games outside. Sometimes they escape to the classroom and play Connect Four or simply talk to each other about their favorite movies and books.
"The first time we hung out, she gave me a hug and said "Thank you for coming," Bannwarth says. "It was so cute. It touched my heart and I had tears in my eyes when I left."
Even though Bannwarth is thrilled with her new match, she offers this advice for Big Brothers or Big Sisters with difficult Littles: "Make an effort. You can only
pull so much of the weight and sometimes matches don't work out. But instead of just letting it go and getting frustrated, work a little harder."
Terry Johnston, a clinician who provides mental health services to the children and staff at Schwegler Elementary School, agrees that Big Brothers and Big Sisters have to work hard to make their match work, but it cultivates excitement and a sense of self-worth in the Little.
"A child was telling me about the field trip coming up and I asked them if this was going to be their best day of the week," Johnston says. "They said the field trip was going to be fun, but their best day was Thursday. I asked why and they replied, 'That's when my Big comes to see me.'"
Without a doubt these volunteers, and the hundreds more like them in Douglas County, have made a lasting impression on their students. Whether it's cooking with him or playing board games with her, Bigs help their Littles learn lessons about friendship, compassion and responsibility. The impact of these relationships isn't always readily apparent, but rest assured, volunteers, your work is appreciated.