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Bitch moan
With Brian Bratichak and Jessica Crowder Please send your questions to bitch@kansan.com
Everytime I have sex, I have to pee right afterwards. It's like clockwork. I have to get up within 30 seconds of coming. What is the deal with this? Is this normal?
Randy, Junior
Brian: Your body, whether you want it to or not, basically does what it wants to a lot of the time. Sometimes, the things that happen can be changed and sometimes nothing can be done at all. Do an experiment to check this theory: go to the bathroom before you do anything with a girl. If there is nothing for you to pee out, it makes it harder for you to pee after coming. If that does nothing, consider making the best of the situation. Before you go out, listen to an R. Kelly CD for inspiration. He might give you some good ideas for the evening.
Jessica: As long as you don't feel any burning sensation, peeing post-sex is actually beneficial for preventing urinary tract infections, so pee all you want! Many people feel the urge to pee after sex. To avoid that urge, pee before sex. If your urge is particularly strong, you may have a UTI, in which case, see your doctor and drink plenty of cranberry juice.
I've been talking with this girl and she's been pretty open about the idea of us kissing, but she wants me to initiate. The problem is she has a boyfriend of 4 years who I've met. He's a real loser, and I don't understand why they're still together. I can tell she's unhappy. Should I pursue something or what? - Garrett, Sophomore
Jessica: So Garrett, since you can tell she's so unhappy, can you also tell me what color underwear I'm wearing right now? ... Didn't think so. Look, unless she kisses you first, you have no right to encroach upon the dork's territory. Even if she kisses you or even if she's discussing the possibility of kissing you, you should politely decline. What if things did happen for you two? What basis would she have to trust you when you essentially cheated with her? Be the better man if you like her so much. I'm guessing from her discontentment that after four years she feels obligated to stay with him, which is typical of couples who've been together a long time. The past is the only adhesive keeping that relationship together. Unfortunately, for you, the only two people who should be responsible for a breakup are Miss Kissy Face or Geektoid.
Brian: If you like the girl, then you need to let her control her own life. By trying to kiss her, you could be setting yourself up to fail in any possible relationship with her. She will always remember that you were devious enough to kiss her while she was in a relationship with someone, and will worry that you'll do it to her if the right girl comes. Don't let this girl jerk your chain around. Tell her if she wants anything to happen with you two, then she needs to break up with her pocket protector-wearing boyfriend. If she won't, then she never was planning on choosing you over him. If he really is as big of a loser as you allege, then she'll see how wonderful you are and ditch him.
This girl and I have been sleeping together since school started and the sex has been great. The problem is things are very awkward right after sex and one of us always ends up leaving within five minutes. Is there anything I can do to ease the situation? Ted, Freshman
Jessica: Things are going to be as awkward as you allow them to be. Whenever you decide to engage in a buddy-ship without attachment, you encounter the problem of not having an emotional bond formed that relationships have. Sure you have electric physical chemistry, but where there would ordinarily be comfortable conversation and cuddling, you've got her sprinting for the door.
Crack a joke. Give a compliment. Cuddle.Make her as comfortable as possible while keeping your intentions clear.
Brian: Ted, you're a freshman. You gotta do one of two things: either get out and explore the world and hook up with as many girls as possible, or get into a relationship with this girl and make things work. It seems as though something is missing to make this relationship work. By just sleeping with her you are limiting yourself to one girl with whom you are getting limited experience in a relationship. Somewhere out there, a girl is in bed waiting for you to have sex with her and then have an enjoyable, relaxing time with her afterwards. Go forth, my pupil, and find this mystery girl. And remember, go to her bearing gifts. It's the quickest way into a girl's heart... and pants.
How we met
Couple: Ben & Kayla
They say that you never really know the people closest to you. For these two, it's true. Ben Katz and Kayla Dudley, Topeka juniors, first met each other on graduation night of their senior year in high school. It was on a blind date, set up by a mutual friend. Turns out they had had the same physics class but never knew each other. That night they went to a carnival for a couple of hours. Ben says he had carnival workers heckling him the entire night to win his date a prize. Sadly, he didn't win any thing.
But he did win her over: the two have been together for more than two years.
- Chris Moore