Bitch moan&
contact
With Brian Bratichak and Jessica Crowder
Jessica: Since I was 12, I've aspired to be a couples counselor. I'm currently in my third year majoring in psychology with plans for grad school. In addition to clinical practice, my dream is to write a column about sex and relationships and Bitch N Moan is the perfect opportunity for gaining exposure and making that happen in the future.
Brian: I am qualified to offer sex advice because I enjoy listening to people and helping them with their problems. Basically, I am a sexual sponge, only I'm a sponge you never want to get rid of.
I had drunken sex with my boyfriend while on my period and I forgot I had a tampon in. Now I can't find it and I'm worried. Could this be dangerous?
- Libby, Sophomore
Brian: I won't lie to you. I only know a little about the female cleansing process. But to me it doesn't sound like a good idea to be having drunken sex during it anyway. Either take out the tampon or try to keep off the guy for a week. As for getting it out, do you have a pair of pliers handy? If not, call your doctor.
Jessica: Yeah, got any other method of extraction besides pliers on the offchance you're not some wallered out streetwalker? Tweezers, maybe. You should probably remove it before you get T.S.S. — you know, the entire reason for that folded piece of paper inside the tampon box? Toxic Shock Syndrome is potentially fatal if tampons are left in for too long. If need be, see a doctor. Chances are you'll be fine. To prevent this from happening in the future, don't get drunk and forget to tell your boyfriend that you're on the rag. He deserves the heads up!
Every time we're around my girlfriend's mom she talks about the distant future with us. This freaks me out. What can I do to ease the awkwardness?
Terrence, Senior
Jessica: Smile and nod if you're uncomfortable. What could be worse than 'you know, Mrs. R, I really dig fooling around with your daughter, but I'm not looking to settle down just yet?' The truth is she's probably been getting cues from her daughter and if you two aren't on the same page, her parentals probably aren't either.
Make sure you and your girlfriend are in agreement and things will be dandy.
Brian: It seems that our parents love to look into our distant futures while we tend to be more focused on the next test that we have to cram for or the party we'll be at tomorrow night. If you're uncomfortable when she talks about that, tell your girlfriend to ask her mom to take the conversation down a level. If your plea has no effect, you could always say something to catch her off guard. My suggestion would be something along the lines of 'I get to visit my dad next week. He'll be out of prison in 10 to 15 years. Would you mind helping me plan the welcome back party?'
I'm an out-of-state freshman living off campus.I don't know anyone and I was wondering how I can meet people. Any ideas?
- Ian, Freshman
Brian: While there are many stereotypes of dorms being gross and uninhabitable, they are by far, the best place for creating short and long term friendships. Other ways to meet tons of people include getting a job, joining a group on campus, stopping by bars
for the sorority girls, or just cruising around Lawrence looking for house parties. Rule number one when meeting new people: it's always easier to talk to people when you are fairly intoxicated.
Jessica: Take a roommate with you to the dorms and visit random floors. Usually, no one has established their cliques yet during the first few weeks of school, so that's nice. Also, never underestimate befriending people from classes, especially those suited to your major since you'll probably see them in other classes. On weekend nights, hit up the 'student ghetto' for house parties. It's always a good time. Good luck!
Houston and Laure
Ever wonder what happens when a French chick and a country boy mix? Well Laure Madonna, France, senior, and Houston Howerton, Noel, Mo., junior, have been mixing quite well together for the past two and a half years.
A common friend invited the two to a movie premiere at Liberty Hall in February of 2003. They were both shy at first, but a little intoxication at the afterparty helped them loosen up, and Houston asked for Laure's number. Their first date was atThe Mad Greek, where they say they were both nervous. Fortunately, Houston and Laure have gotten over their nervousness, and now enjoy cooking and traveling together.
Laure admits that Houston spoils her 'to no end' and he says that he has learned to say 'no' less, and 'yes' more. With her small frame, no one would guess there would be much consequence when Laure doesn't get her way. But as Houston says, "Never underestimate the pain that comes from small fists."
- Katie Moyer
Favorite songs to sing while getting ready to go out
"YMCA," Village People
4. "Baby Got Back," Sir Mix-a-lot
3. "Who LetThe Dogs Out?" Baha Men
2. "Rico Suave," Gerardo
1. "I'm Too Sexy For My Shirt," Right Said Fred
Meghan Miller
8.25.05 Jayplay
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