notice
Gadget of the week
Professional Corkscrew:
Opening bottles faster than you can drink then:
The most useful tool any wine drinker can own is a professional corkscrew. These are the lever-style corkscrews can extract the cork in a matter of seconds with no chance of leaving little bits of cork floating in your drink. It's impossible to screw it up — no matter how many glasses you've downed.
When you're ready for your Friday nights to transcend the High Life, start making things a little classy; drink wine.
Bed Bath & Beyond sells a five piece corkscrew set for a friendly price of $9.99. It comes with a lever-style corkscrew, foil cutter, bottle stopper, extra coil and a convenient countertop stand.
Enjoy, wino.
-James Foley
Not to scare you, but we're eavesdropping on your conversations. Yes, we hear everything. And then we print it. But don't worry if you say something stupid, we won't identify you - unless you owe us money or beer.
Wescoe wit
Guy: I have four semesters left.
Girl: (VERY disinterested) Ah.
Guy: Yeah. I am so excited!
**Food Vendor:** I swear all this stuff is sanitary. It just doesn't look it.
**Guy:** (takes sandwich)
Thanks.
Guy 1: You just get your syllabus and stuff. I thought you didn't really do anything.
Guy 1: I, uh, didn't go.
Girl 2: Why not?
Girl 1: How was your first day of school?
Girl 1: Not always.
Guy 1: Yeah. I heard they took attendance.
Girl 1: Not always.
-Kathryn Anderson
8.25.05 Jayplay
7