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OPINION
FRIDAY, APRIL 29, 2005
WWW.KANSAN.COM
Swear words express hell of a lot of emotions
A SHADENFREUDEN WORLD
PAGE 5A
Smarmy Lawyer. If released, would you pose any threat to one Bart Simpson?
would you put it to one Bart Simpson? Sideshow Bob: (Faking surprise) Bart Simpson?! (Chuckling) The spirited little scamp who (Bitterly) twice foiled my evil schemes and sent me to this (More bitterly, omniously) dank, urine-soaked hell hole?)
MINDY OSBORNE
mosborne@kansan.com
Parole Board Member #1: Ah, we object to the term "urine-soaked hell hole," when you could have said "pee-pee-soaked heck hole." Bob: Cheerfully withdrawn.
While this quote more likely will elicit a few laughs from the pathetic people like myself who memorize every bit of Simpson's quote material, it also demonstrates the ridiculousness of our society's view toward cursing. If the institutions that guide our moral compass, such as Wal-Mart and the Parents Television Council, stopped for a moment in their war against the proliferation of words like "damn," they would realize they are on the losing side of a battle that has existed for centuries.
side of a black mailbox.
According to Mary Marshall's book,
"Bozzimaccio: Origins and Meanings of Oaths and Swear Words," the first-known swear words and subsequent sanctions date back to the Greeks. Back then swear words were just that; words to declare oaths. And, in the typical egalitarian fashion of the Greeks, swearing was a privilege given to all. But, Marshall wrote, "Children were allowed to swear by Hercules but not in the house. They could do it in the streets if they liked."
The Romans perhaps thought they could improve upon this and, according to Bill Bryson in "The Mother Tongue," they had 800 "dirty" words. Compared to our meager 20—not including things like "crap" or "boobs"—they even outdo us, except in euphemisms for sex, which luckily, the English language tops out at 1,200 words. To be fair, our culture hasn't been the only one obsessed with swearing. Apparently during Elizabethan times, during which the queen herself swore like a sailor, swearing was a sort of pastime. Marshall wrote that plays were filled with lowbrow language including tasty morsels such as "I fart at thee," "Thou whoreson knave"
and "A turd i' your teeth." It was during this period that the Puritans relocated and formed a much more moral society. Oh, wait.
The problem with trying to regulate swearing is that language has no ultimate authority and continually evolves over time. Swearing, because it is
associated more with low culture, tends to have a shorter life span. Trends come and go and cursing is a part of that. Bryson explains that "cunt" was at one time harmless. "Shit" was acceptable until the early 19th century, as was "prick" until the 18th century. But if you were to say the word "zooterkins" in 16th-century England or "puppy" in the 19th century, you would be making grave insults. Even just recently the word "queer" has undergone significant changes, from meaning odd to gay.
America has since become more egalitarian and lax in making class distinctions, but swear words up until post World War II were a badge of identity for the lower classes, said Donald Watkins, associate professor of linguistics at the University.
On the other hand, he said, anyone in high society would never dream of uttering a curse word. Now everyone can and almost does so willingly. He said many times professors would drop an f-bomb to make their students feel like they were on the same level. "Language is like dress, we use it to identify ourselves," Watkins said.
we use it to identify the entity. Even though swearing is an ephemeral entity, it lasts because cursing is flexible. Depending on how words are used, who uses them and what is said, a plethora of things can be considered curse words and evoke different emotions. The versatility is almost awe-inspiring. Usually it is reserved for people expressing their anger verbally in place of violent action, humor or for those people trying to make up for their limited vocabulary. In any case, cursing is here to stay, for good or for bad, because there is a need for it. Because while you can replace a four-letter word, you can never replace that unique feeling you have after stubbing your toe or discovering that your significant other has cheated on you.
- Osborne is a Dunlap, III., junior in journalism and international studies.
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
Israelis need to defend themselves from Palestinian terrorists
I feel the need to respond to the issues that Sam Hopkins has risen in his column on Tuesday, "Jews must be self-critical in Middle East controversy."
Hopkins portrays Israelis as the antagonist. He neglected to mention, however, that of the 1,047 Israeli that have been killed by Palestinian terrorists since September 2000, 732 were civilians and of the 7,161 injured in terrorist attacks 5,009 were civilians. These women, men and children were attacked at Passover Seders, weddings, and night clubs.
What does Hopkins suggest that we do? Sit and watch as our families are murdered? Why should Israel not have the right to protect its citizens? Israel is not playing the game of "he hit me first" as Hopkins suggests, rather Israel is forced to respond to those who perpetrate these murderous actions.
Israel's former Prime Minister Ehud Barak offered Yasser Arafat the most far-reaching and comprehensive peace deal that would have created a Palestinian state close to five years ago. Instead of accepting this peace offer, the Palestinians responded with violence.
So how should Jews be "self-critical" of Israel? Should we criticize Israelis for defending themselves, initiating numerous peace agreements or being the only democracy in the Middle East?
Danielle Dollinger
Leawood freshman
Psychology
Letter misses point of Pride Week; queers create awareness
Eric Schaumburg missed the point of David Ta's letter and of Pride Week. We were not trying to create controversy for controversy's sake; we were trying to create awareness.
The "Kiss In" was meant to put a spotlight on the ubiquitous homophobia in our society that makes a simple show of affection into a shocking spectacle when shared by two people of the same sex.
A photo of two women hugging does not raise awareness of anything. Two women hugging is already accepted in our society, so how does such a photo help advance queer rights or fight homophobia?
Mr. Schaumburg suggested that we might accomplish our goals by being moderate and placating our audience. If our goal was to remain in the closet forever, that would work great.
The goal of Pride Week, however, is to show that we're proud of who we are and to raise awareness of issues that affect the queer community.
If you think controversy never helped advance a cause or win rights for people, then you must not have heard of Rosa Parks, Malcom X, the Stonewall Riots or countless others. Can you name three historical figures who won rights for their people by being moderate and placating their audiences?
Sean Ringey
Lawrence resident
2004 graduate
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CONDITIONS EXIST
Monkey vs. English major; earning potential in question
A police department in Arizona wants to put a monkey on its SWAT team. According to The Associated Press, the department sees a monkey as "the ultimate SWAT reconnaissance tool," and it wants to train the little guy "for special-ops intelligence." The police officers
WHEATON ELKINS
welkins@kansan.com
The cops will give the monkey a tiny bulletproof vest, just like 50 Cent's kid's, and a two-way radio — although I'm unsure exactly why this monkey would need a
are currently seeking federal grants to pay for the monkey, his food and veterinary care. I'm not making this up.
this monkey would need a radio. The report doesn't mention whether the monkey-cop gets a Glock.
If a monkey can get a job and healthcare, employment opportunities for humans with English degrees — like me — must be pretty good, right? Well, sort of.
Employers do expect to hire more college graduates than last year. According to the National Association of Colleges and Employers. And some of this year's graduates, especially people with business and engineering degrees, will earn considerably higher starting salaries.
If a monkey can get a job and healthcare, employment opportunities for humans with English degrees like me must be pretty good right? Well, sort of.
know what my computer means when the screen says, "A FATAL EXCEPTION HAS OCCURRED AT O//E:0000009560098."
For example, the starting pay for accounting graduates increased 3.9 percent to $43,809. And yearly wages for engineers and computer scientists start at more than $50,000.
But, can civil engineers recite the "Songs of Innocence" from memory? Can a computer programmer fix your dangling modifier or write a
But a recent CNN report stated that the average starting pay for people with liberal arts degrees is $29,060, down 3.6 percent from last year. My
English degree falls squarely into this worthless category, and I have a hard time understanding why.
Sure, English majors can't design a road in such a way that passengers won't get dizzy and vomit when they drive their cars over hills and around bends. And I don't
vivid poem about carsickness? Neither can I, but some English majors can.
Seriously though, I'm not mad at engineers. I guess anyone who takes that many math courses deserves more money.
I am mad at that monkey. You see, CNN also reported that while salaries for some graduates have gone up, job perks have been cut. So while the monkey gets a Kevlar vest and a Glock; I'll get a desk and a nasty pile of dangling modifiers to work on.
But I'll happily take $30,000 a year — it's a lot of money. And I don't have a choice. If I don't get a job when I graduate this fall, I'll have to go home and work for my dad. And he'll only pay me in sandwiches. I could turn to a life of crime, but with my luck, I'd be the first bank robber ever shot by a cop monkey.
♦ Elkins is a St. Joseph, Mo., senior in English
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Editor's note: A comment in yesterday's Free for All contained racial undertones and was ageist. The comment should not have been published. The University Daily Kansan's policy prohibits publishing material that is discriminatory toward any group. The Kansan will make every effort to avoid publishing such comments in the future.
♦
A million thanks for the transportation department of Lawrence for fixing the potholes on 23rd. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
My roommate's justification for not showering for four days is that it's going to rain.
Ah, spring is here and the jean shorts are starting to bloom.
Today I lost my Free-For All virginity. To the guy in my geology class, if you're gonna complain about the University of Kansas and how it's incredibly below you, why don't you just not go here?
I'm a junior in college and I just spent my night playing MASH. But
hey, I'm going to be fithy rich and have eight kids, so what can I say?
If gays can't marry, how come it's okay for a guy to marry a transsexual? I saw it on Maury today.
If Kirk Hinrich was an attractive woman, I'd do her.
Hey, Overstock.com lady, will you marry me?
I have kidnapped Oliver Hall's rubber band ball and am holding it for ransom. Ha ha ha!
My mother just blow his nose in his boxers.
My roommate just blew his nose in his boxers.