OPINION
THURSDAY, APRIL 28, 2005
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CORPORATOCRACY
Economy may actually need your help, conservatives
To: Josh Steward, chairman of the KU College Republicans
Re: Conservatives + economy = better
Dear Josh,
STEPHEN SHUPE
sshupe@kansan.com
to the editor assignment is why conservatives are better for the economy." Naturally, I jumped at the opportunity to complete this assignment. Conservatives are better for the economy in so many ways.
While scanning the Web site of your wonderful organization, I noticed the following entry: "This weeks" (sic) letter
But before I get into the myriad reasons why this is true, allow me first to say what an incredibly handsome young man you are. That mug shot you have posted at wwwku.edu/~kucr/ hard, you, blushing, You are.
had me blushing. You are princely, sir. Sheer royalty.
Reason #1
princely, s.t. street royalty.
Now, back to my assignment:
Why are conservatives better for the economy?
Conservatives support deregulation. This leaves corporations answerable to no one, allowing them to maximize profits. Thanks to deregulation, Nike CEO Phil Knight can take full advantage of Vietnam's child labor force. According to The Wall Street Journal, Knight's pint-sized shoemakers are victims of sexual and physical abuse, low wages and exorbitant quotas. It's like we're fighting the Vietnam War all over again! Other perks include: Nike gets a profit, Americans get $150 shoes and the economy thrives.
United States will stay in a perpetual state of war. War is great for the economy! Companies such as Bechtel, Halliburton and Lockheed Martin made billions of dollars in war profits last year. Investors, primarily the top 1 percent of the country that owns 50 percent of the stock
All must be sacrificed for the almighty dollar, per George Orwell's thesis: "If you want a vision of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face forever."
Conservatives oppose labor movements. By beating back pro-labor policies, conservatives can ensure the minimum wage will forever remain at $5.15 an hour. A disproportionate number of minorities would benefit from a wage increase. The Economic Policy Institute found that the wage increase in 1997 resulted in the lowest unemployment and poverty rates in decades. To maintain white primacy in the 21st Century, corporate handouts and labor suppression must continue. Better to leave the workers in a race to the bottom than succumb to socialist giveaways.
Reason #2
Conservatives believe in global free markets. With free markets, multinational companies can gobble up resources and profits throughout the world. This upsets people and guarantees the
Reason #3
market, cleaned up and hired contractors to build more mansions, which grew the economy even more.
Reason #4
Reason **44**
Conservatives love freedom. This includes the freedom to prop up compliant military dictators, the freedom to crush populist movements and the freedom to build weapons of mass destruction. These freedoms serve to expand the
American empire, which serves to redistribute money to wealthy Americans, who've always served as a benevolent force in our economy. As they say, "Freedom ain't free." All must be sacrificed for the almighty dollar, per George Orwell's thesis: "If you want a vision of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face - forever."
Reason #5
Conservatives hate taxes. Lower taxes mean less money for government spending on health, education and daycare
— all the safety nets. Because we're paying them only $5.15 an hour, and because we're taking away the safety nets, workers have no choice but to give up public services to private investors in a last-ditch effort to save their children and elderly parents from certain death. It's a brilliant plan. The money flows into the private sector and Wall Street explodes.
I'd continue my little ruse, Josh, but I'm afraid of breathing fire through my mouth. Honestly, this is moderate rhetoric compared to real Republicans, who refer to Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez as a "Marxist thug" because he won't hand over his economy to American corporations. Take a stroll through the streets of Harlem or take a boat ride up the Saigon River. You might see that the economic policies of America in general and your party in particular threaten to stamp out the light of the world.
Kisses.
Stephen
♦ Shupe is an Augusta graduate student in journalism.
▼ LETTER TO THE EDITOR
Religious leaders, Christians, Catholics, warmly receive pope
After reading Ms. Souza's article for the Kansan Editorial board yesterday on the election of Pope Benedict XVI, I wish to respond with a few comments.
First, Ms. Souza claims that Benedict "will reverse the effects [of Vatican II] that Pope John XXIII had hoped to see." Few realize, however, that the then 38-year-old Joseph Ratzinger, still just a priest, was invited to the Second Vatican Council as one of the principal theologians. His input contributed greatly to the drafting of several documents, including those involving ecumenism and religious liberty. Also the former Cardinal Ratzinger was one of the strongest critics of the priestly sexual abuse in the United States, condemning in harsh language the behavior of all guilty parties — including bishops.
Ms. Souza goes on to imply that Benedict XVI, unlike John Paul II, is "opposed to birth control, women's ordination, and ecumenism among countries and religions." This analysis is incorrect. It was John Paul II who first championed
I conclude with this: the pope, and the Church, is entrusted with doctrines that are fundamentally unchangeable. No pope in history has ever contradicted them, and never will. In his papacy, we can expect Benedict XVI to do just that: defend the truth.
the cause of life by opposing all forms of artificial contraception, and it was after his input that Pope Paul VI vetoes the flawed resolution allowing it. John Paul II also firmly silenced all debate concerning women's ordination, having written "the Church has no authority whatsoever to confer priestly ordination on women," according to Ordination Sacerdotalis, May 22, 1994.
Concerning ecumenism, the election of Benedict XVI has been warmly received by Jewish rabbis, leaders of Islamic states and nearly every other Christian denomination, including the Archbishop of Canterbury. In a recent ABCNews Poll released today, 80 percent of Catholics polled approve of his election
Eric A. Buschelman Edmond, Okla., senior Electrical engineering
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▼ GUEST COMMENTARY
Parking permit increase makes sense for better lots
I'm sure you've heard the phrase "there's no such thing as free parking" — please trust me when I tell you it's true. I know you would expect to hear this from someone in my position, but consider this: You do pay for parking,
DONNA HULTINE opinion@kansan.com
directly or indirectly, anywhere you leave your car.
The direct cases are of course obvious, you pay to park at a Chief's game, Worlds of Fun and the KU campus. Indirectly, you pay for parking with the products you buy at a grocery store or mall and you pay for parking with your monthly rent check. In these cases the cost to maintain
rent check. In these close parking lots is passed on to you in the prices you pay for products and services.
The decision to raise parking permit rates at the University of Kansas is never made lightly, as evidenced by our history of four- and five-year spans between rate increases. Faculty, staff and students on the parking commission, along with University administration, have spent many hours poring over the recently completed consultant report, and one conclusion that many of us
The decision to raise parking permit rates at the University of Kansas is never made lightly, as evidenced by our history of four- and five-year spans between rate increases.
reached before reading the result was that even if we were only to address the condition of existing parking lots, a rate increase would be required.
the more we will pay.
The pavement study within the report actually told us that the estimated cost to restore the current parking space inventory is more than $4 million in 2004 dollars. With oil prices continuing to climb, driving up the cost of asphalt, the picture only gets worse. It would be irresponsible for the Parking Department to allow existing parking lots to continue to decline, as the longer we wait
The consultant report provided us with many commonsense solutions to existing parking problems. Some suggestions will require a major shift in the current parking culture on campus and will take time and strategic planning to implement.
Other suggestions were relatively easier to begin to implement. We currently have a popular Park and Ride option that is overflowing its home in the Lied Center parking lot. Next year's rate increase will allow us to expand this program in a larger location, freeing up the Lied Center parking lot for daytime programming and a planned building expansion. A new parking lot
can run anywhere from $3,500 to $5,000 per space depending on the site. At 1,500 to 2,000 spaces, this is a major commitment to improving parking and traffic on campus.
An increase in parking permit rates ensures that existing parking lots will be rescued and new parking added where possible. People will make tough decisions about how they get to campus, perhaps prompting more bus usage, bicycle riding or ride sharing. This will make parking better in the long run.
The Parking Department is completely user-supported and must operate like a business.
Everything associated with campus parking lots is paid for in part with permit dollars, from lighting to snow removal.
The bottom line must ensure that we meet our fiscal commitments. Like any business, costs are passed along to the customer base. While you will pay for this directly, you will get a better parking system in the end.
+ Hutte is the director of the University of Kansas Parking Department.
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For more comments, go to www.kansan.com
I always find it a victory when I can successfully sneak to my car in the middle of the day without attracting the attention of the people waiting for a spot in the yellow parking lot.
Give the people what they want already! I vote reinstatement of the hot dog cart.
Nick Bahe, I'm really gonna miss you.
+
I've been going to this university for about two years now, and it's still debatable whether jail or college is better.
♦
I think it's cool that I go to a Division I college and all my
professors are Chinese, Bangladesh, or 75 and almost dead. Are we sure those Kunited folks can even run for Student Senate? Do they go to school here? Do they ever go to class?
You know your obsession has gone too far when you start recognizing strangers on the street because you've seen them on Facebook.
Eight neighbors, six months, no friends. Thanks, college, for the great experiences.
$$500 reward for anyone who brings me Broadband Man's head.
Anybody else think that the 1942 Bob Dole is totally drouged?
I have no problem reconciling being both pro-life and feminist. For more on that position, go to www.feminists-forlife.org if you dare.
+
1.
Why are rugby uniforms so stripey? They're so stripey. The striestip of stripy uniforms that I ever did see.