UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
Monday, May 5, 1997
7A
Love hurts during finals
Semester's end can add stress to relationships
By Elena Macaluso Special to the Kansan
The end of the semester can be a time of heightened anxiety and severe time constraints. Stress takes its toll on students' personal lives, and couples may want to give their relationships a study break.
Couples should expect their partners to be a little more irritable and have a little less time to spend with them, said Nomi Redding, a Lawrence counselor.
"I would have a low-expectancy survival plan," Redding said.
She said that couples should avoid talking about serious issues during the edgy last weeks of a semester if possible. In addition, they should respect each other's study habits.
Jim Kreider, a counselor at Counseling and Psychological Services, said that
when people were stressed they were more irritable and things bothered them more. He said it was common for couples to argue about issues that they had held back on, issues like money or how they spent their time together. Kreider said it was not a bad idea for couples to consider taking a break from each other during finals.
"It doesn't hurt to step back and take a breather from one another," Krelder said.
Karen Roche, Overland Park freshman, said she and her boyfriend had a simple yet effective way of dealing with stress.
"He doesn't get stressed, and I do," Roche said.
She said the balance helped their relationship, and her boyfriend was supportive of her stress.
Roche agreed with Kreider's advice about taking time out if things get too stressful.
"Back off a little bit and try not to spend too much time together when you're irritable and you know you're going to snap at him," she said.
Sometimes it is not finals but the prospect of a summer apart that, adds
"It doesn't hurt to step back and take a breather from one another."
Jim Kreider
KU counselor
stress to a relationship.
Jeff Butler, Holliston, Mass, freshman, and his girlfriend are facing that separation. Butler said they were dealing with it by enjoying their time together and not dwelling on the fact that they would soon be apart.
"We both know it's coming, but we don't want to have to deal with it now," he said.
Butler said worrying about it now would only add stress to the relationship. "For now, we're just living it up —
enjoying ourselves but with the understanding that when the summer comes, some decisions will have to be made," Butter said.
Kreider said concern about spending the summer apart was common for many couples.
"It can challenge the level of trust and commitment in the relationship," Kreider said.
He said couples often questioned their future together and the status their relationship would develop.
Whether stress comes from finals or the prospect of being apart, Kreider said it was important for couples to talk about what they were thinking or feeling.
"There is just no substitute for communication," Kreider said. "We can't predict the future, but we can be honest and open with each other on how we want to deal with life's uncertainties."
Kreider said couples who were experiencing stress in their relationship also could seek the advice of a neutral third party.
Finally, it is important to remember that finals are short-term stress.
"The good thing about finals is at least you know when it's over, it's over," Redding said.
Cinco de Mayo fiesta
Holiday steeped in tradition, food
Area businesses and residents will commemorate the Mexican holiday Cinco de Mayo today with dance, music and camaraderie.
By Kell Rayberm Special to the Kansan
Gloria Flores, associate director of minority affairs, said the holiday was a time for celebration.
Mariachi is a traditional Mexican string orchestra or street band, usually with three to 12 players.
"The main thing for Cinco de Mayo is fiestas," Flores said. "There is traditional food, dance and music — mariachi."
Rees Wendler, who works at the Low Rider Mexican
Cafe, 943 Massachusetts St., said the restaurant would end its five-day fiesta with food and drink specials and live music tonight.
"We've had specials for five days and live music every night since Thursday," Wendler said. "We're going to have a mariachi band tonight."
"We're going to have Measure by Measure — it's a local a capella group — playing out on the patio," Shorts said. "We'll have Mexican beer specials, Cuervo tequila specials and Mexican food specials."
Scott Shorts, manager at Dos Hombres VI, 815 New Hampshire St., said the restaurant's celebration also would include live music and drink specials.
Flores said Cinco de Mayo celebrated the victory of
the Mexican army against Napoleon's French troops in the small town of Puebla on May 5, 1862.
"It was the first major defeat of a European army for Mexico at the time," Flores said.
She said while she knew of no formal celebration of the holiday on campus today, the Hispanic American Leadership Organization, the Multicultural Resource Center, the City of Lawrence and the Koch Commission were sponsoring a speaker on Wednesday.
Edward James Olmos, a Hispanic activist and actor who starred in Miami Vice and Stand and Deliver, will address issues facing the Hispanic community at the Lied Center at 7 p.m. on Wednesday, Flores said.
Jailhouse rocks; Bill to open gates
MUNICH, Germany — Just looking like Michael Jackson isn't enough.
The Associated Press
The pop singer went to Munich's Stadelheim prison on Saturday to visit Marcel Avram, head of Mama Concerts, one of the world's biggest concert promotion agencies, being held on suspicion of tax evasion.
Even though Jackson arrived with police escorts, he had to show identification.
"You can't come into the prison just because you claim to be Michael Jackson," Bavarian Justice Ministry representative Gerhard Zierl said yesterday.
Just one day earlier, a Jackson look-alike had shown up at the prison asking to speak with Avram but left when asked to present identification. Zierl said.
MEDINA, Wash. — After almost seven years of nails, concrete and wiring, Microsoft mogul Bill Gates' $50 million techno-mansion is ready to be lived in. Almost.
"The house is complete, the shell. It's all finish work and landscaping now", said Geoffrey Whitten, a Gates representative at the site in this affluent suburb east of Seattle.
But will enough of the house be ready for Gates' technology summit this week? Guests, including Vice President Al Gore and publishing magnate Steve Forbes, reportedly have been invited to dine at the mansion.
Whether you're a first time college student, or returning to school to add to your current skills and knowledge, Washburn University has the building blocks of traditional educational excellence to help you. We offer quality education with personal attention, small classes, and flexible class hours...including evening and Saturday classes.
As a Washburn student you have the advantage of having access to the latest generation of computers, the extensive collection of the University's libraries and a variety of recreational facilities. Choose Washburn University, we're here to meet all your needs.
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