The University Daily Kansan
Monday, July 8, 2013
Page 5
EDUCATION
CONTRIBUTED PHOTO
Adam Reeves, right, receives a $2,500 scholarship check from 4K for Cancer on June 28 in front of the Kansas Union. Reeves is an incoming freshman from Pleasant Hill. Mo., whose mother was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2012.
Cancer survivor's son receives scholarship for reflective essay
EMMA LEGAULT
elegault@kansan.com
The news came a couple of days after Christmas that the lump Adam Reeves's mom had removed after having her last child was Stage II triple-negative breast cancer.
After the shock wore off, Reeves, a freshman from Pleasant Hill, Mo., realized he would have to step up to fill in for Angel, a stay-at-home mom who he said "basically runs our entire lives."
"Mom's kind of the glue that holds everything together, so knowing that she would be incapacitated or possibly we might lose her . . . it was a little unhinged," he said.
It didn't make things easier when his brother, the only other sibling who could drive, tore three tendons in one of his legs. The brunt of the responsibility fell on Reeves to take care of the family.
With his dad at work or tending to his mom, Reeves would wake up in the morning, fix breakfast for his five younger siblings and take them to school. After finishing up his own busy day of classes, he would rush to pick up and take everyone home, return to school for sports practice, come back and chauffer his siblings to their activities or help with homework, then sit down to start his homework at 9 or 10 p.m. before heading to bed. Wake up, and repeat.
It became a family joke that Reeves's coffee intake corresponded to his level of fatigue.
"I don't like coffee," he said. "But
I definitely started drinking it quite a bit."
The hardest thing wasn't balancing a busy schedule, though; it was reminding his mom that she was beautiful when she started losing her hair. It was reminding her that she was still the heart of the family even though she wasn't able to take on her usual roles.
"Getting her to realize that 'no, we understand that you need to have this done,' that it's OK and that we can pick up the slack was probably the harder part of being able to support her through it and stay on track and not want to give up," Reeves said.
When he found the Ulman Cancer Fund for Young Adults was offering a scholarship to students affected by cancer, both Reeves and his mother were inspired to enter.
Reeves's essay inspired the committee to award him a $2,500 scholarship, which was presented to him by members of 4K for Cancer, an organization of members who bike cross-country to raise awareness and money for the Ulman Fund, on June 28.
"That was her way of feeling useful, like 'at least my cancer can contribute to something, send somebody to college," he said.
He wasn't sure what to write at first, but a high school composition teacher helped him focus on how he had to change and mature to help his family and stay involved in what he loved.
"My mother and the way that she loves, her actions speak more than what her words say. She doesn't like
to be vocal about 'I love you,' it's what she does for you. So the essay focused on how one of the ways that I can say I support her and I'm there for her, is that 'I can still help you, and I don't feel like you're interfering with my life at all'"
Reeves plans to study biochemistry, possibly double major in genetic or molecular biology and minor in theater. Although the University is a more expensive, out-of-state option, he prides himself that he will be able to make it a reality without adding the financial burden to his family's hospital and treatment bills.
The scholarship is a help to him and a tremendous moral boost for his mom.
"I don't interact with the world globally at this point just because I'm from a small town and I'm kind of closed in, so it was an eye-opener to the fact that there's always help out there, there's always support and there's hope for the future, and that as a human race we stick up for one another," Reeves said.
Angel said seeing her son receive his scholarship at the Union was a highlight in the family's difficult year.
"It's a really good, positive thing that came out of the whole cancer diagnosis and everything that we went through," she said. "It was a nice ending to all the things that have happened."
After a complete mastectomy in late June, the Reeves family got the news last week that, as of now, Angel is 100 percent cancer free.
Edited by Megan Hinman
CONTRIBUTED PHOTO
Members of 4K for Cancer, a national nonprofit organization dedicated to helping young adults affected by cancer, show their support for the Reeves family on June 28.